When you give away some of the light from the candle,
by lighting another person's candle there isn't less light
because you've given some away--there's more.
That works with love, too.
Good morning. It's warmed up outdoors, and spring is on the horizon. Slowly, oh so slowly, I am trying to get my life back on track. Such a tremendous loss for me. To put things in perspective, I do try to get out and socialize, but even so, I have no real close friends. Yes, I do have a few special online friends who I love and feel I've known all of my life, but there is no one who I can meet to have a cup of coffee or go shopping together. No best friend. Miss Minga filled that role in my life. She was my pet, my best buddy, my little baby and trying to deal with this loss has taken a toll on me. Little things just set me off.
Like Saturday, it was the first time I went food shopping since her passing, and there is no way to avoid the cat food aisle. It's the same aisle that sells cleaning supplies and garbage bags. The first thing I noticed was the cat litter. I've had a running battle with management for almost two years about the cat litter. They keep 15 and 20 pound boxes on the highest shelf. So dangerous. The manager tells you to find one of the guys to help but there are only about three in the store and sometimes you can't find them. One time I got tired of running up and down the aisles looking for someone so I tried it myself and a 15 pound box landed on my head. And still the manager did nothing....until this week. The first thing I noticed was that the boxes had been moved to the lowest shelf.
And then the stock clerk gave me a big smile. "See, I have it all ready for you today." and he pointed to the Friskies chicken and beef classic. That was Miss Minga's favorite food, and she had to have it EVERY morning for breakfast. Whenever there was none on the shelf I insisted they go to the basement and bring some up. They all knew Miss Minga in the store....all the girls at the register, the delivery man. The first thing they noticed was that I didn't buy any cat litter and before they could ask, I told them she had passed. And that was all it took for the tears to start flowing.
We had a wonderful memorial for Miss Minga. We lit candles, each said a prayer, and I recited the following poem.
And God asked the feline spirit
Are you ready to come home?
Oh, yes, quite so, replied the precious soul
And, as a cat, you know I am most able
To decide anything for myself.
Are you coming then? asked God.
Soon, replied the whiskered angel
But I must come slowly
For my human friends are troubled
For you see, they need me, quite certainly.
But don't they understand? asked God
That you'll never leave them?
That your souls are intertwined. For all eternity?
That nothing is created or destroyed?
It just is....forever and ever and ever.
Eventually they will understand,
Replied the glorious cat
For I will whisper into their hearts
That I am always with them
I just am....forever and ever and ever.
There were plenty of tears. Afterwards, we sat down to a meal of lemon garlic chicken, spaghetti with garlic and oil, and roasted broccoli with Parmesan cheese. The rest of the evening was spent with each of us adding our fondest memories to her book. I can only hope that she was there to see how much she was loved.
Hubby is so special. Gosh how I love that man. On Friday we were watching some television together in the living room and I was feeling down. He said something to me, and when I turned, he saw the tears in my eyes. I saw the pained look on his face. I know he is worried about me because he knows I can fall into depression.
On Saturday, it was he who brought tears to my eyes, tears of joy. He went out and came home with this gift for me.