Musings on My Journey Toward Healing

Healing is the journey. The destination is yourself. The full recognition of all
the different aspects of yourself—your joy, your sorrow, your pain,
your pleasure—all lead you to the source of who you are. Only by
having intimate contact with this source can you experience the fullness
of your life. Only by fearlessly looking within can you embrace the landscape
of your life and open yourself completely to all the love
and compassion that lives inside you.

Philip Berk

Went to my doctor for a follow up yesterday.  The news really wasn't so bad, although it could have been better.  The bad news is that my blood pressure is still up there...166 over 84...so she raised my dosage of medication. It was frustrating to me because I have worked so hard on lowering it.  I never miss my medication and stick diligently to my low sodium diet.  But, I guess as the old saying goes, 'Rome wasn't built in a day' so I guess I'll just take it 'one day at a time'.

My thyroid scan showed a hot spot and three cold nodules. Fortunately, my TSH level was not that high so medicine will probably control it, but it is also possible I will need a biopsy on the nodules.  My doctor stated she is reasonably sure they are not cancerous, but since endocrinology is not her forte, she will leave that decision to the endocrinologist. She did prescribe me some thyroid medication which she said should help alleviate some of my symptoms--insomnia, heart palpitations, IBS, intolerance to heat, excessive sweating and a whole bunch of minor symptoms.  It will be good to finally get a good night's sleep. 

The good news is that I lost another two pounds.  That makes 17 pounds in all.  My clothes are getting looser now and there are two skirts that I cannot even wear anymore for fear I'll walk right out of them. In all honesty, I never thought I would see the day. I'd begun to think it was all hopeless, that I would never be thin again.  And the more hopeless one feels, the more one gives up and does whatever they can to sabotage their goal.  That way, one doesn't have to feel like a total failure.  

In other words, our body believes everything our mind says and if we tell ourselves we are a failure, we will become a failure. The body/mind connection is a powerful one indeed, and the way I look at it is this.  If I was able to delude myself into believing that it didn't matter what I looked like...and ignore all the symptoms this excess weight brought on...I can certainly channel this same energy into a more positive, health producing frame of mind. 

I'll close now with some quotes and a positive affirmation from one of my favorite writers, Louise Hay, who helped me through some troublesome times.

You have the power to heal your life, and you need to know that. We think so often that we are helpless, but we’re not. We always have the power of our minds. Claim and consciously use your power.

Every thought we think is creating our future.

In the infinity of life where I am,
All is perfect, whole and complete,
I no longer choose to believe in old limitations and lack, I now choose to begin to see myself
As the Universe sees me --- perfect, whole, and complete.