Thursday Quote and Then Some

 

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of
throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.

-Buddha - 

For many years I stayed angry with my three of my hubby's sisters who have treated me badly. They've done such hurtful things as send invites to weddings only addressed to hubby or call my home and leave a message in Spanish for hubby on MY answering machine...knowing that I couldn't understand.  It got to the point that just hearing one of their voices would make my blood boil.  And, oh, how that anger festered!    Hubby did  always respect my feelings, and knew they were doing me wrong, but we both knew that they were bullies, and he is a such sweet man, never wanting to 'make waves'.  And I knew that if I told him to  steer clear of them he would have, but knowing them that would have fed the flames.  They would have made themselves the martyrs and me the reprehensible bully who turned their brother against them.  So, I never tried to stop him from seeing them and learned how to let it be.  

It was difficult, to be sure, but, in time, I learned to ignore the phone messages which have pretty much stopped now,  even to laugh about them and how silly they were being.  The Serenity Prayer helped as well.  Have I forgiven?  Who knows, but I have learned to. It's been about 12 years since I last saw them, and hubby will visit only on certain occasions.  One thing I have realized is that a lot of my anger had to to with was the fact that I was TRYING so hard to make them like me, and nothing seemed to work. And, it seemed that the harder I tried, the more frustrated and angry I was becoming. 

Today, I try to instill in my clients that anger, resentment, and all of those other negative emotions  keeps one in the 'victim' mode and instills a feeling  of powerless, and when you carry this baggage along with you, you are giving those who hurt you the power to keep the pain alive.  In my case, the key to letting go of my anger was realizing that I WASN'T at fault, that I had done nothing but love their brother.  The fact is,  neither of them can find lasting relationships and love.  Men are in and out of their lives. They are, indeed, truly unhappy women who cannot bear to see someone else be happy.  Hence, they try to make everyone else miserable. 

So, if you bearing ill feelings towards someone, take your power back.  Let it go.  You'll feel so much better for doing so.

Resolve your emotion
and move on.

- Author Unknown -