Those who fume at their
problems become their victims.
Several of you asked how we were dealing with the noise upstairs and had some kind of agreement been made. I just had to let you know how we handled it, and it was quite diplomatic, to say the least. No yelling, fighting, or hard feelings, at least of what we saw. At first we spoke to the Super, and he kindly went upstairs to talk to them, but the mother seemed to think we were just complainers. Our next step was going to be to contact the building management, but I really didn't want to go over the Super's head. I really like him, and he was trying to do his best for all us. The poor man was caught in the middle. And I don't want this constant friction with my neighbors. I realize that it is going to happen wherever you go, but if I can avoid it, I will.
It was then I said to hubby, "Maybe she just doesn't know how it sounds downstairs." (I always like to give someone the benefit of a doubt.) So, when I arrived home from work last night and found the house reverberating with sound, I told hubby, "All right. That's it. Go upstairs and get her. Tell her we have an emergency down here and need her right away. Let her think there is a leak or something. Whatever you do, don't give her a chance to tell him to turn it off." I honestly didn't think she would come, but she DID come once when I rang her bell about a bathroom leak...which she immediately had taken care of.
I really would have gone to get her myself, but hubby is so much better at these sort of things. I am not 'believable' if you know what I mean. My face belies my motives. And, you know what? It worked. She ran downstairs with him, and I met her at the door. I led her into the house and stopped in the living room. "This is the emergency. I wanted you to hear it so you would know that I am not making it up." I mean, how can one possible weasel out of something when they are caught red-handed.
Well, I have to say the woman was absolutely speechless. She hadn't thought as quickly as I had. If she had she would have made sure that boy turned the music down...because now she had no choice. I also told her that I understood that teen-age boys love their loud music and politely suggested that he get some good headphones. I have to say, the woman was a bit uncomfortable. I wish I could say it was because she'd just been made aware...and was really taken quite aback by the noise level...but the point is, nobody likes getting caught. Now she knows that should it happen again, I am not making it up....and I mean business. After she went back upstairs, the music was turned down, and it stayed down. I sure do hope it continues. Keep your fingers crossed for me.
I don't want any troubles with my neighbors. After spending 15 years in my old neighborhood where I was considered an outcast, this was a blessing to me, to move into a building where people said good morning or good evening to each other and held the door for the next person, or the super's son sees me coming with bags and rushing to take them from me to carry them to my door. And then there is the little Arab boy who races, and I mean races down the stairs, to open the door for me and replies to my thank you with "You're welcome, ma'am." I love that kid. I've never seen his parents, but they sure are raising him right. It is the kindness and neighborliness of all these people that make this place special. That's what makes me feel at peace.
One of the basic points is kindness. With kindness, with love and compassion,
with this feeling that is the essence of brotherhood, sisterhood, one
will have inner peace. This compassionate feeling is the basis of inner peace.
The Dalai Lama