Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Wednesday Ramble

Those who fume at their
problems become their victims.

David Seabury

Several of you asked how we were dealing with the noise upstairs and had some kind of agreement been made. I just had to let you know how we handled it, and it was quite diplomatic, to say the least. No yelling, fighting, or hard feelings, at least of what we saw. At first we spoke to the Super, and he kindly went upstairs to talk to them, but the mother seemed to think we were just complainers.  Our next step was going to be to contact the building management, but I really didn't want to go over the Super's head.  I really like him, and he was trying to do his best for all us.  The poor man was caught in the middle.  And I don't want this constant friction with my neighbors.  I realize that it is going to happen wherever you go, but if I can avoid it, I will. 

It was then I said to hubby, "Maybe she just doesn't know how it sounds downstairs."  (I always like to give someone the benefit of a doubt.)  So, when I arrived home from work last night and found the house reverberating with sound, I told hubby, "All right.  That's it. Go upstairs and get her.  Tell her we have an emergency down here and need her right away.  Let her think there is a leak or something. Whatever you do, don't give her a chance to tell him to turn it off."  I honestly didn't think she would come, but she DID come once when I rang her bell about a bathroom leak...which she immediately had taken care of.  

I really would have gone to get her myself, but hubby is so much better at these sort of things.  I am not 'believable' if you know what I mean.  My face belies my motives. And, you know what?  It worked.  She ran downstairs with him, and I met her at the door. I led her into the house and stopped in the living room.  "This is the emergency.  I wanted you to hear it so you would know that I am not making it up." I mean, how can one possible weasel out of something when they are caught red-handed.

Well, I have to say the woman was absolutely speechless. She hadn't thought as quickly as I had. If she had she would have made sure that boy turned the music down...because now she had no choice. I also told her that I understood that teen-age boys love their loud music and politely suggested that he get some good headphones.  I have to say, the woman was a bit uncomfortable. I wish I could say it was because she'd just been made aware...and was really taken quite aback by the noise level...but the point is, nobody likes getting caught. Now she knows that should it happen again, I am not making it up....and I mean business.  After she went back upstairs, the music was turned down, and it stayed down.  I sure do hope it continues. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

I don't want any troubles with my neighbors. After spending 15 years in my old neighborhood where I was considered an outcast, this was a blessing to me, to move into a building where people said good morning or good evening to each other and held the door for the next person, or the super's son sees me coming with bags and rushing to take them from me to carry them to my door.  And then there is the little Arab boy who races, and I mean races down the stairs, to open the door for me and replies to my thank you with "You're welcome, ma'am."  I love that kid. I've never seen his parents, but they sure are raising him right. It is the kindness and neighborliness of all these people that make this place special. That's what makes me feel at peace.

One of the basic points is kindness. With kindness, with love and compassion,
with this feeling that is the essence of brotherhood, sisterhood, one
will have inner peace. This compassionate feeling is the basis of inner peace.

The Dalai Lama


  1. HOORAY!!! Perfect solution! Wise Woman, you are!

    and thank you for telling us. We worry about you, you know.

    Who has 2 posts up today...

  2. What a clever idea you had! I hope it results in a permanent improvement. If it does, give them some home baking or something as a thank you -- reinforce the behaviour, LOL!

  3. Good for you Mary to handle it the way you did. I bet she was uncomfortable even though you and hubby were nice about it, but your suggestions for the boy to get headphones is perfect. Makes me wonder why she puts up with it! I live in an apt that I love and would be very upset if I thought I might need to move due to noisy neighbors but I'm sure it won't come to that for you.

  4. You and your husband are brilliant! What a good way to ensure she knows exactly what the racket sounds like to you. I like to believe that people aren't purposefully rude, but sadly some really don't care about others' comfort levels. I hope this takes care of the problem permanently! Have a wonderful day!

  5. Oh Mary......what a CLEVER solution for your dilemma.



  6. I have a feeling the noise will come to a close now, at least I sure do hope so. Blessings!

  7. What a fine story . . . truly heartening.

  8. Nice one! Glad she got to hear what it was all about...fingers crossed it stays quiet!

  9. That was a great idea. It's part of the city life to be somewhat suspicious and skeptical - so she probably believed it wasn't as noisy and loud as it was. Now she knows. It's good to be honest.

    I understand what you mean about community - how important it is. I live in a less luxurious place now but I do not miss the city at all - the luxury here is friendliness, kindness.

    I learned (finally) the lesson/joy of compassion. It has changed my life internally and in regards to outside circumstances. This is truly a magical energy. I love the Dalai Lama quote and agree wholeheartedly!