Sunday, October 3, 2010

Are There Some Things That Cannot Be Forgiven

The practice of forgiveness is our most important contribution to the healing of the world.--Marianne Williamson

Forgiveness is a necessary part of healing a wounded heart. However, many people misunderstand what it means to forgive. Forgiveness does not mean you accept whatever misdeed has happened nor does it mean that you will ever tolerate such behavior again. Forgiveness means that you refuse to let bitter feelings take root inside of you for when bitterness takes root inside of your heart, it is like a slow poison that drains the life out of you, affecting who you are as a person.

Forgiveness is a hard thing to do. I've experienced many times in my life where I needed to be able to forgive to move parents, my ex-husband and his family.  I'm not going to lie, I still carry a lot of feelings around me...many below the surface, but this is not about the past.  This is about NOW.  This is about something I am finding hard to let go of, and wonder if it is even possible to forgive...and I wonder if there are some things you just should not even try to forgive. Do we forgive evil?  Do we even try?

The story I am about to tell you will break your heart; it has broken mine.  I've not even begun to share this tale with you, and already my eyes are watering up with tears. I've thought about whether or not this is fair to even lay this on you, but I really need some advice because I am hurting right now; I'm hurting bad, and I need some help.  Perhaps this is post may not even be about forgiveness; perhaps it is about the healing of just being able to tell someone about the pain I am carrying within. I've tried the past few days to be cheerful...even posted some fun things on the blog, but I realize that was all a cover-up for what I am really feeling.

This  story actually begins about seven years ago.  My cat was an indoor/outdoor cat at the time.  She loved prancing around the yards, harming nothing, but getting to know her territory.  Then, one day I called her for dinner, and she didn't come.  Immediately, I knew something was wrong, and then I saw her.  She was in such bad shape that I had to pick her up and carry her into the house. I nursed her back with strained baby food and pedialyte. It turned out she had been poisoned.  From that day on, she became an indoor cat.  It was much, much later that old man upstairs told me about the woman down the block that poisons the cats, but by then, their house was sold, and the woman was gone.

But Minga was now getting up in years so I still kept her as an indoor cat...and thankfully.  A few weeks back I posted about the poor little squirrel found dead at the foot of my steps.  Well, lately I have noticed there are NO squirrels prancing along the wires.  They've all disappeared.  And I think I also mentioned about Mama Cat and her babies. They, too, have disappeared. The possum is gone and so is the raccoon.  The squirrels, the possum, and the raccoons are what could be called friendly fire, for what I've discovered is that the cat-hating lady never left; she's been there all along.  Well, not exactly her, but a new evil came along to take her place. 

There was quite an uproar Thursday night...about 1:30 in the morning.  It's a Jewish holiday so my neighbors have all been celebrating pretty late into the night.  I was awoken by a lady screaming "They're God's creation; how can you be so inhumane?" Amongst other things, I heard the words cats and poison, and I knew what was going on.  I immediately threw on my robe and went out there to speak my peace.  The police had been called as well as the ASPCA. but the only thing I heard was the woman get a warning, "You can't do that.  You can't poison them."  I didn't sleep a wink after that; hence my day off on Friday. 

So now, my dear friends, when I step out into the backyard, it is so silent; so devoid of life. Even the birds don't even sing anymore. My heart is broken, and I have shed so many tears. Last night I lit a candle and went outdoors to say a prayer, but I haven't been able to let go of this anger; it is eating away at me, and I know I have to find a way to let it go.  Is this person someone who can be forgiven, that even deserves to be forgiven?  Can one forgive evil? Do I pray for her soul, or do continue to live my life filled with all this hate.  I know that is wrong; I have to let go, but right now, I don't know how. I wish I could say that if I forgive, and this pain will go away, but I don't think it is going to be that easy. These are the innocents, the creatures of the earth.I know that parents forgive those who murder their children, but I can't do it.   How do I let let it go?

Thanks for letting me share. I do apologize if I've spoiled anyone's day.  Not my intentions.  I just had to let this go, and hopefully, get some healing.  I've been holding this in since Thursday.  Perhaps this will be my first step to healing.

To hate another is to hate yourself.
We all live within the one Universal Mind.
What we think about another, we think about ourselves.
If you have an enemy, forgive him now.
Let all bitterness and resentment dissolve.
You owe your fellow man love; show him love, not hate.
Show charity and goodwill toward others
and it will return to enhance your own life
in many wonderful ways.
--Brian Adams--


  1. ~mary i don't even know what to say...i am filled with saddness for you and each precious animal that has come in harms way...the silence that is and the gifts this one has stole...i too would be and am filled with anger...why people have to act in such way is beyond me...we jsut learned of this poor dog who is being beaten and his eyes is lacerated...just breaks my heart...frustrating to hear her just receiving a warning...may calmness and compassion fill this womans soul...putting an end to such for forgiving...gosh...what we are suppose to do and what we do do are two different things...a choice we make...i really wish i had a better choice of words for you this morning...i shall light a candle for not only you, the animals but for this woman too...may your heart be healed and soothed from this pain you are feeling...always thankful we are for your should never have to carry their feelings and words afraid of sharing...we are here to listen and offer support...much l♥ve and light upon you always~

  2. Wow that is so so sad. I'm sorry about what happened to your cat. And now to the other critters. I think if the ASPCA knows this is going on and if there are more reports they may step in and press charges, but I'm not sure.

    I don't know how some people can be so cruel. I don't know if or how to forgive someone like that. All I can suggest is lighting a candle for the loss of the creatures that fell at her hands, and praying to God/dess to help you deal with the anger. Karma will end up biting this woman in the ass big time though.

    I'm so sorry this has happened. It breaks my heart that people are just that cruel to an animal.

  3. I have to think on this awhile....
    I do know I would be watching that evil person and be giving her the Evil Eye whenever I saw her.
    My ex in laws were just like her.
    When I saw him kill a cat, I knew he killed my dog that came up missing.
    How my heart hurt knowing it's fate. Still does when I think of it.
    Maybe you can tell her that some day you will piss on her grave like I did................and DID!
    My next door neighbor has been warned about killing the critters and I am keeping my eyes open every time I am near a window after dark.
    I haven't forgiven, nor will I forget...but damn pouring my pee on the ex FIL from Hell felt soooooooooooooo good.

  4. Hmmm. Such a difficult situation. I don't know if you're able to, but maybe after a day or two, try to speak to the woman. Maybe she was taught by her parents or someone that the animals she's harming are just pests, like flies. Unfortunately, I don't think she's ever going to stop. But maybe understanding where she's coming from might help you figure out what to do.

    I really hope you find something to do. Hate is a harsh word, and forgiveness is very difficult. I'm sure you will figure out what is the best course. You have a loving soul and are someone that strives to find the best in people.

    Speaking of which, I know you work with people through their problems. Is there someone you've worked with that caused harm to others? How did you handle them? That might be something to help you.

    I know this is a long comment, but I truly feel that you have the answer deep within. You just might need a little more information.


  5. This is a sad story, and one I know too well. In the village where my sister used to live, 12 cats died in the same street during a period of three years. In the neighbor village, someone left dog treats outside which had been filled with glass shards and nails. And when my sister helped out at the vet, she witnessed a little dog that had been poisoned with an old fertilizer (that has been forbidden in Germany for more than 20 years) and had to be put to sleep - bleeding from all orifices and unable to hold still, since that fertilizer is a strong neurological poison.

    I will never ever forgive people who do these things, and whenever I hear of people doing these things, I send bad things their way. I am not a "good" witch, never have been, and whoever kills other beings out of pure hatred for life (and there is no other possible reason for this) deserves the worst.

    (And this is much more satisfying than forgiveness.)

    In your place, I would light some black candles and bury glass shards near the culprit's home. (If you know exactly who it is. Otherwise the candles will have to do.)

  6. What she is doing is horrible and she might not even know it. She might be so into her unsavory, evil ways that she does n't even feel how wrong they are. The sick twisted gratification she gets by hurting creatures unable to defend themselves can only be as you said EVIL!
    Those people are often more than unbalanced. They have violent instincts taht they epress every way they can. You can not forgive someone who will continue causing so much harm, but you can let go of the anger. These kind of people are the reason of my fluffy bubby beliefs. Love and loght to balance the darkness. Be the wonderful, sensitive person you are and help as many animals you can. I f you find a chance fight her. But do not poison yourself by hating her. She does n't deserve that.
    If i were you, i would make sure everyone around there knows waht she does. Who she is. What she is. I hope i helped a little.
    Brightest blessings.

  7. She needs to be prosecuted by the law...anyone who does this to animals will do it to any living thing...Like Georgina says, tell anyone you know so that everyone realizes what she has done...Hopefully, the telling with help you deal with the anger and pain...

  8. I think if I were in your shoes, I would try to keep in mind that this person has some sort of mental problem and is possibly more deserving of pity than hatred. How horrible it must be, to be the kind of person who would do this!
    It doesn't always work for me, but maybe you'll have better luck.

  9. Mary- I really don't know what to say here. I know that we are to forgive...and if we don't it will eat away at our soul. However, to me she does not deserve forgiveness at this time because she doesn't see or will not admit that what she has been doing to the poor helpless creatures is wrong. I'm appalled that this woman was given a warning--a warning. That is very hard for me to swallow. Animal cruelty and laws protecting our animals have came along way in this country and I believed was not tolerated. Do you have a neighborhood watch program where everyone can keep an eye on what is going on around your neighborhood? If not, maybe that would be a way of helping the animals without her knowing. Taking pictures, or videotaping her even. The only way she will stop I feel is if she is found out and made to pay. A warning--that is just unbelievable.

  10. dear mary, I have been away and am just catching up on reading... how sad, very sad for you to have a garden devoid of wild life - but you can bring it back.. take the clay disc [you have one?] and sit with it.. sing in the birds and creatures.. they will come.
    and as awful as that woman may be, surround her with love.. she knows no better xoxo

  11. Oh Mary this is horrible! A warning? Are you kidding me? That is just crazy! I am so sorry that this has happened. You know that the only way this is not going to eat at your soul is to forgive her. I didn't say that you had to forget! No, it is not going to be easy at all to do and it isn't going to happen in a couple of days. However, in time, you will. I am still just blown away with her getting a warning.......