Another Gloomy Day

 

Well, it's another cold and dreary day here in Brooklyn.  Haven't seen the sun here in 9 days now. Kind of gets you down after awhile. Everyone has been talking about how tired they feel.  No energy or motivation.  Definitely been taking my Vitamin D3 every day.   Definitely will need sunglasses when it does decide to come back.  

Just got back from one of the newer classes at the center--Healthy Video Hour.  Facilitator shows a lot of natural healing stuff, right up my alley.  I really have to get back on track.  As you know, last year I was diagnosed with Stage 3 kidney disease.  I stopped taking the Aleve for pain and my numbers got better.  I also began watching my diet as for the first time I had high cholesterol and high trigycerides.  Did extremely well for awhile, but I guess about September I fell off the wagon.  Ate lots of sweets, processed foods, and everything else that is no good for me. ..resulting in some bad results on my latest bloodwork.  Kidney GFR dropped 9 points down to 50, glucose was 110 (pre-diabetic).  They didn't test my cholesterol this time, but I can just imagine what it must be.  

So I have been back to making healthy soups for myself.  Ralph had bought me the largest carrots I have ever seen so I cut just one up in this soup.  Ingredients are carrots, peppers, onions, garlic, navy beans, kidney beans, diced tomatoes, low sodium vegetable broth, Tuscan spices, and smoked paprika.  Tasted just like the Campbell's Bean with Bacon that grandma used to serve me.  An all time fave, but far too much sodium for me now.

It's Been so Long

Don't know how many of my friends are still blogging.  I know I have been away for ages.  Two years at least.  It's been a busy two years, but I'm not making excuses.  There is no excuse for not letting you all know I was okay.  For that I am sorry, and please accept my apology.

So much has happened these past two years.  My daughter and I no longer speak.  Not my choice.  .  Ever since she married that Elvis Presley impersonator our relationship has gone downhill.  It's the obligatory gift at Christmas and birthdays but goes no further.  At first I shed a lot of tears, but now I've come to terms with it.  She's a grown woman with a mind of her own.  This is her choice and I have to accept it.  What I don't accept is that my grandchildren no longer speak ot me either, and I don't know why.  No Merry Christmas, Happy Birthday, Happy New Year.  Nothing.  It's like I don't exist.  And I guess I have to acknowledge that I can't really blame them.  For many years I didn't exist to them.  For that I have only myself to blame.  

We have other family, though, and have had some enjoyable times with them.

Me and my son Jerry.  I'm trying to let my hair grown again, and it's at that in-between stage that we all hate.

Jerry, me, and family from Florida.  I don't know if you remember my Godchild/neice who stole my sons money after he passed.  For many years my rotten neice had us against each other.  If only I had known who the real troublemaker was.

This is Ralph, his sister, neice and great nephew.  For many years his sister and I didn't get along.  When I first got together with Ralph, I wasn't accepted. This sister one that has passed were so terribly rude.  They'd speak in Spanish so that I wouldn't be included in conversations....even though both were teachers and spoke English well.  I tried so hard to get them to like me and finally just gave up trying.  Now 30 years later look at us.  Miracles happen.

This sister of Ralph and I have been friends from Day 1.  We actually share the same birthday.

Anthony's grave.  I miss my baby so much.  The pain of loss never goes away, but you learn how to go on with your life.  It hasn't been easy.

Speaking of loss, I don't know if any of you ever followed the blog Ishitzunot.  I met her here on Blogger and after we both basically stopped with regular blogging we remain friends on Facebook.  She passed shortly before Christmas.  She fell and broke her neck.  It was so unexpected.  She and I became close friends since the time we met, and I miss her so much.  It just goes to show you never have to meet someone in person to really connect with them.

Gosh, it seems this post is nothing but negativity.  Much good has happened in this time as well.  For one thing, I graduated with honors from my Relaxation Therapist class.  I also continue to teach jewelry making at the center although my fingers don't work as well as they once did. I am still cooking up a storm and have some great recipes to share.  Much to share, but right now I am super hungry for some barbecued chicken, collard greens and mashed potatoes.  

Hope I am forgiven.