Happy Birthday in Heaven

 

 

September 30th. Today you would have been 38. Life was finally falling into place for you. Your dream job, a few short months to a new car. You don't know how much I miss you. I cry for you every day. The holidays are around the corner, but they will never be the same. Nothing is the same without you. I'll miss all those crazy jokes you played on me and got such a kick out of my reactions. Like the time you pretended to be a male stripper. Oh, what a laugh you got out of that!!! Then there was our last Thanksgiving, when the microwave went, and you and I had to eat out of the aluminum baking pans. That night I said, "This is a Thanksgiving I will never forget." not knowing that IT REALLY WOULD BE a Thanksgiving I would never forget. I would be our last. 

 

I am so glad I made you those mint brownies you loved so much. I really didn't want to, you know, but you wanted them so badly that I gave in. I said I would never make them again, but I just might. As time passes I think more and more of making a batch of them and giving them out to the homeless in memory of you.

 

I love you, Ant. I always will.

 

Anthony Todisco, forever 37.

Monday Morning This and That

Good morning.  Here we are starting a new week after the first full weekend of fall.  Kind of warm here with gray skies and lots of humidity.  Didn't go to our favorite place yesterday.  Thee was a threat of drizzle all day, and besides, I think hubby really needed a day of rest.  

So I went and did my shopping yesterday morning.  While waiting for the bus I was sitting on a wall and reading my phone messages.  All of a sudden I heard, "Mary, is that you?"  Oh my, it was a friend from the center.  I was so so happy.  This friend doesn't participate in online classes so I haven't seen her since March.  Funny thing is I was just thinking about her the other day.  We'd first met in WW, then found out we attended the same senior center as well.  Usually I am anxiously waiting for the bus to arrive, but yesterday I was glad that it took its time.  We had a good chance to catch up on things. 

Colored this one in my new coloring book.  Loving it.

Had another crazy dream this weekend.  Dreamed we moved into a new place.  Been dreaming about new places a lot lately.  Wonder if that means something.  I'm not looking anymore so I doubt it.  Well, this place was on the first floor of a building that had lots, and I mean lots of apartments.  The lobby was set up like a train station and all the seats were full.  I had access to a nice back yard.  It was autumn, and I remember talking about looking forward to spring so I could plant.  Out the side window was a tree and lots of cats were sleeping under it.  

Well, I went out to hang in the lobby and met some girl who said she cut hair.  I needed a cut so I asked if she would do it for me.  In my dream my hair was thick and raven black.  It was gorgeous.  Well she starts chopping.  And then I notice that she is teasing my hair before she aimlessly slices.  Finally I stop her.  My hair is now a mess.  I tell her off and go outdoors in tears.  Everyone asks what happened to my hair.  I call my regular girl and she says to come it and she will fix it. But now I look in the mirror and my hair looks gorgeous.  The cut is falling into place perfectly.  I am still mad and head over to the salon.  I end up with a thin shaggy cut like I have now. Then I wake up.

Friday Roundup

 Well, here we are.  Another Friday.  Another week is done.  They are speeding by at breakneck speed lately.  One would think time would slow up with all the time spent indoors, all the boredom, but it's not that way at all.  This was a busier than usual week for me.

On Monday I went to do the food shopping.  I keep hoping I'll run into a peer from the center when I go, but so far it hasn't happened.  On Tuesday I did my banking in two different directions.  Felt almost normal aside from seeing everyone with a mask.  I also canceled the city food orders.  They give you nothing but slop, at least the place that I got.  Several places got the go ahead to give meals, and as I found out in Wednesday's center meeting, some are better than others. Different zip codes get from different places, and I just happened to be in the wrong zip code.  I've gotten to the point where I can't even look at that food anymore.  A dog wouldn't even eat it. That's how bad it is.

So now I am on my own for meals, at least until late October, early November when they begin grab and go meals at the center.  I'll get on the bus and go. Heck, it will give me the opportunity to see my peers.  Of course, all this is dependent on Covid.  If cases begin to spike due to kids back in school and dine in restaurants, I won't be riding the bus.  So if that happens, I will probably have to sign up for food delivery again.  Hopefully next time I get a better place.

Attended a new art class the center has this week.  On zoom, of course.  It looks like it's going to be a lot of fun.  We are going to learn sketching and the use of watercolors, shading, etc.  The center will provide watercolors and brushes to those that can't afford it.  That's awesome.  I have my own so am not going to take advantage.  Another new class I tried this week was a meditation class at a different center's zoom.  I enjoyed it and will definitely go back next week.

Got my newest coloring book yesterday.  

And my handmade witch from Etsy arrived as well.  You can tell I love this time of year.

Have a wonderful weekend.  I know I may try to get to our favorite Sunday bench if the weather holds out. 

Indian Summer

It's going to be pretty warm here today.  Put my flannel gown away last night as the cool air receded to a later date.  Indian summer is here.

Indian Summer.  Funny, I don't hear it called that much anymore.  Maybe that's because I am a 'city girl' now, and for many here, the changes of the season mean nothing more than a change in wardrobe.  Oh I'm not saying that city folks don't care.  They do.  But it's not the same as it is for someone who spent  the first 26 years of their life in the country.  They don't smell the rain coming like I do or feel a storm in the breeze.   And that's not meant as a put down in any sense of the word.  Heck, I've been a city girl now for 47 years, and I know I could never live in the country again as much as I say I would like to.  The city is my home now, and while it's nice to visit the country, it's always good  to get home.

Just ask my son.  When he was forced to move in the middle of the pandemic he stayed with my daughter in the Poconos for awhile.  There were no stores nearby.  And seeing that he didn't have a car, he was pretty much stranded when my daughter returned to work.  At first he loved it and spoke about how restful and peaceful it was.  But then, a month passed and it was 'get me outta here'.  That would probably be me as well.  

Indian Summer is defined as  unseasonably warm and calm weather that occurs after a cold spell in Autumn.  No one is sure where it got it's name, but many believe that it refers to the Indians practice of gathering the last of the season's stores during this period. When I first read this poem it brought back memories of my youth when Indian Summer was seen as a dangerous time.  It was during the polio epidemic, just prior to the vaccine.  Our parents were so fearful for us. While the entire summer was a time of danger, they placed much more emphasis on Indian Summer.   I remember how we'd swim in the lake all through July and August, would would be forbidden to swim in the when Indian Summer arrived. No one really knew how polio was transmitted or what caused it, but swimming was a 'no no' during the season.              

"Indian Summer"

Just after the death of the flowers,
And before they are buried in snow,
There comes a festival season,
When nature is all aglow—
Aglow with a mystical spendour
That rivals the brightness of spring,
Aglow with a beauty more tender
Than aught which fair summer could bring....

                Emeline B. Smith

And here I am now, some 60 odd years later once again facing an unseen enemy.   Only this time it scares me.  When you are young, you feel untouchable.  Leave the worrying to your parents.  That's how us kids felt back then.  In today's world, facing today's enemy, we DO worry, especially those of us considered vulnerable.  Let's hope and pray this enemy is wiped out just as polio was so many years ago.

 

Teenage Friends and Memories

When I was in high school, I had three good friends I hung around with-a set of twins and their younger sister.  My mom forbade me to see them, but that never stopped me.  Their mom was divorced and was dating so to my mom, she was a whore....which meant the daughters were as well.  Well, the irony of it all was that all the while my mom was condemning their mom for dating, my mom was running around every night with her boyfriend.  This went on for as long as I remember and was still going on when I left home.  Talk about hypocritical.  My mom just could not help herself.  Her boyfriend was the love of her life, her soul mate.  

But, I'm not here to write about my mom today.  I'm here to talk about my friends.  Every morning I'd leave my house to go to school and head for their house. There we would exchange outfits for day and other things teenage girls did.  Eventually, though my mom won out, and we parted ways.  At 26 I moved to the city and never really thought of them until a few years back when I joined Classmates.  By now I was in my Crone years and yearning for some ties to my past.  And I found them.  My friend Cheryl and her sister, Jamie, and I became friends on FB and found comfort in reminiscing about our youth.  I was supposed to go to visit them in our neighborhood and we were going to hang out, but then there was a transit strike, and that put and end to that.  Unfortunately, I never have gotten there to see them.

Jamie is in the black dress with a sweater.  I am at the end with my hair in an upsweep.

This was my high school year book pick.  I am second from the end in front.

This was Cheryl's senior picture in the yearbook.

And then I see a post on Jamie's page asking for prayers for Cheryl because she was going through a very rough patch.  Now mind you, Jamie is an avid Trump supporter.  I just delete and block all her posts about the glory of Trump and have made it a point to NEVER post politics or religion on my FB page.  So, she has no idea that I am one of these 'snowflakes' she is always condemning.  So when she posted nothing more about Cheryl I just assumed it was something to do with her family, or marriage, etc.  Never did I think health because Jamie was still busy posting about Trump.  Her biggest complaint was that she couldn't get to the rally in Milford.  

I kept checking hers and Cheryl's page but nothing more was said.  So you imagine my shock when I read yesterday that Cheryl was doing slightly better and was taken off the ventilator. Cheryl was obviously very, very ill.  I just could not, COULD NOT believe that your sister is lying in the hospital near death and all you can talk about is Trump.  I am truly flabbergasted.  If it were my family member he would be the least of my concerns. I'm still shaking my head about it.

On an even more personal level, this has also made me think about my own mortality.  Here is a childhood friend, a year younger than I am, fighting for her life. I'll soon be 74.  How much time will I have left?  We sort of discussed feelings about Covid and how it has effected us seniors in one of my groups.  We all agreed that this is not the way we thought we would spend the last years of our lives.  I wonder, just what will the new norm be like.

Monday Morning This and That

Good morning everyone.  Had a wonderful weekend.  Went to my son's new place for dinner yesterday. It's the first time we've seen each other since the holidays.  We hugged each other tightly and cried and mourned in the way we should have been able to had Covid not robbed us of this time we needed together.  It's been 5 1/2 months since my son's death I was finally able to hug and mourn.

Jerry has become a remarkable cook, and he and Tahnee were such gracious hosts. We spent some time reminiscing about Ant and despite tears, were able to laugh at some of his antics. Always a practical joker.

Enjoyed playing with my son's rescue, Ulani.  They got her from the ASPCA.  She is such a darling and so sweet and friendly.  

Time to head home.  Only damper last night was my tummy troubles, and I can't even count how many trips I made to the bathroom. The hour ride home was one of extreme anxiety, but the immodium helped, and I made it home just in time to run to the bathroom. As I look back on it, it's my own fault. Ate one of my triggers yesterday. As we grow older certain foods don't agree with us anymore especially those of us with IBS-D and one of those is egg sandwiches. When I worked I used to have bacon egg and cheese on a roll every morning, and it never bothered me except to put on quite a few excess pounds. But, in the past year ago they have become a real trigger for me. I can eat hard boiled eggs, but not fried. And yesterday I made myself an old childhood fave for lunch--eggs on toast. Whatever made me think it would be different just because I didn't eat it as a sandwich!!!!

Had to dig out a flannel gown.  Boy, did it ever get cold here....very quickly.  Was sitting around Saturday night in my gown and my fuzzy sock slippers.  Ran around in the morning shutting all the windows.  I will say, though, I do like it better than that extreme heat and humidity we'd been having.  It's not only far more comfy but also will save me money in the long run.  With not need for the AC or fan, the electric bill will go down.  They do say it will warm up at the end of the week, but only up until the 70's.  I can deal with that. 

Today I'm off to the supermarket.  Didn't get to go yesterday so I'm heading over today.  It's quieter on weekdays anyway.  At 2pm I plan to attend a class, 'Food for Thought' via Project Find, on zoom of course. 

Short and Sweet

 

 

 Smile, it’s Saturday!