The Healing Power of Humor

The most wasted of all days is that in which we have not laughed.

Nicolas Chamfort

I really enjoyed yesterday's focus group and would have participated in it for nothing if asked. There were ten of us,  and some of the subjects we  touched on nutrition, medical care, medication, etc., and all unanimously agreed that we would like to have someone come to the Center to provide us with more information on preventative health care and nutrition.  One tries to eat healthy, but it seems that eating healthy is more expensive...at least in the city it is.  

Yesterday's lunch at the Center was fantastic.  Well, we actually began with a breakfast of jelly donuts and grape juice and a short explanation of Hanukkah.  Then, for lunch we had the most delicious homemade lentil soup, tuna, pickled beets, and pickled green beans.  It was fabulous and one of the best lunches there in a long time.

Hubby bought himself a joke book yesterday, and by the end of the evening, he had me climbing walls with some pretty corny jokes.  I mean, enough was enough, but they sure were cute, and I thoroughly enjoyed myself.   Here are a few I remember.

Q. What did they call the cat who ate a lemon? 
A.  A sour puss.

Q. Is chicken soup good for you when you are sick?
A.  Not if you are the chicken.

Q. Why did the pantyhose need a lawyer?
A.  Because they were on the 'run'. 

Q.  What did the judge say when the skunk entered the courtroom?
A.  Odor in the court. 

Q.  What did the doctor say when his nurse told him the invisible man was in the waiting room?
A.  Tell him I can't see him.

Q. Why did the doctor become angry?
A.  Because he lost his patients.

And you know what?  I never did get to finish that chapter I was trying to read nor did I get to watch the television show I'd been wanting to see, but I sure did enjoy the evening. He had me laughing so hard the tears were running out of my eyes, and my tummy and sides were beginning to hurt.  It felt good to share a good laugh after all the stress we have been under for the past few weeks. He needed it, and I know I needed it, and for a short while, all of our worries flew out the window. Laughter surely does heal. 

A man isn't poor if he can still laugh.  

Raymond Hitchcock

 Mirth is God's medicine.  Everybody ought to bathe in it.  

Henry Ward Beecher

Good News

Every day we touch what is wrong, and, as a result, we are becoming less and less healthy. That is why we have to learn to practice touching what is not wrong—inside us and around us. When we get in touch with our eyes, our heart, our liver, our breathing, and our non-toothache and really enjoy them, we see that the conditions for peace and happiness are already present. 

Thich Nhat Hanh

Today I have a lot of good news. First of all, I am signed up to make a fast $20 today.  Making money is always good.  One of the area hospitals is sending someone in to do a focus study to see how said hospital could improve on its services for seniors.  That's good, too, especially since my new doctor is affiliated with said hospital.  

Yes, changing doctors is an important decision I have decided upon.  Who needs a doctor they cannot reach?  When I need to talk to my present physician,  I either have to make a trip there or, as I have done on one occasion, write her a letter. No one ever picks up the phone or messages at that clinic...that is,  if one is lucky enough to find room on the voice mail to actually leave a message.  And, although she is very nice, all she does is sit at her computer and refer me to other doctors...and it doesn't seem to me that any of these doctors communicate with one another.  Remember how they all had me running back and forth for blood tests?  I became such a regular fixture in the lab that they actually waited for my weekly appointment. That shouldn't have been.

So, when I received an invitation to an open house at a multi-specialty medical office a few blocks from my home, I couldn't turn it down.  I like that everything, including the lab,  is all together under one roof, and I have heard from others that they have a very good reputation. And while we are on the subject, I have some news.

I have finally signed up for a plan to offset my Medicare and I believe, at least I think, I made a good choice. I'll know for sure when I finally put the plan to use.  I signed with Emblem, the plan I had when I was still working. It is a company I feel comfortable with because I have dealt with them for a few years now.  Of course, that was before I retired and they charging over $200 a month,  so who knows how it will be that I am a Medicare client.  Time will tell. 

Oh my.  I feel badly.  I signed up to do some reflective writing, and they are already going to Day 5, and I've not done Day 1 yet. I've just had so many things going on that I haven't been able to sit and think clearly.  Perhaps now that I have decided on a new doctor and medical plan things will ease up some for me.  Of course, I still have to deal with my pension problems, and money is in short supply, but eventually I know this mess will be cleared up, and, if there is anything positive about this, they DO have to pay me retroactively so I am looking at it as an extra savings account. 

I came home from the Center on Monday and completed my Christmas shopping online and found some really great Cyber Monday sales.  I've never done this before, but I can no longer deal with shopping in the stores.  I have panic attacks in crowds, and I cannot carry much of anything anymore. Besides, Christmas shopping has become so dangerous that there is no fun in it anymore. For example, on Saturday I went to the bank to draw out some money to pay my bills, and afterwards stopped at my favorite little bargain store.  The zipper on my purse keeps getting stuck, and it is time for a new one.  I was hoping to find a nice little bag, but the place was such a madhouse with people pushing and shoving that I hightailed it out of there and went straight on home. Times sure have changed. 

"I miss the good old days when Black Friday was actually on Friday." Unknown

 "Because only in America, people trample others for sales exactly one day after being thankful for what they already have." 

Unknown

Monthly Book Review

 "When a moment is so tremendous it knocks the familiar part of the world off balance, you'd think there would be some sort of clue before it happened.  Maybe just a hint, or even a premonition that would have allowed me to at least hold my breath until the moment had passed and I could find my footing once again."   

From 'A Symphony of Cicadas'.

I just finished reading a fabulous novel I found at Amazon.. Before I buy anything, I read always all of the reviews and download a sample chapter on my Kindle. Sometimes I buy.  Sometimes I don't.  This time I bought.  I  use the reviews as a guide.  I once bought on the 'merits' of title alone, but I've learned that the most intriguing titles can entice one into purchasing the most boring of books.  

I found that almost everyone of the reviews for this book were positive and only one gave it only one star.  I had to find out why.  Well, according to the reviewer the book 'is not worth reading' because she is a Christian and the book talks about an entirely different view of the afterlife than the one she has been taught to believe in.  Such a shame that one is so close-minded that they will refuse to read a good book because the ideas are different than there own. Because, in fact, "A Symphony of Cicadas (Forever After)" by  Crissi Langwell is one of the best books I read all year.

The story centers around two single parents of teenage boys who are only two weeks away from their wedding when  death tears them apart.  Rachel Ashby is returning home after a trip to the shop to measure her son's tuxedo when both she and her 13 year old son, Joey perish in a car accident.  Rachel  finds herself caught between worlds in what the Catholics call purgatory, and we follow her on her long spiritual journey towards healing as she searches for her son,  comes to terms with the fact that she has to let go of the living, and eventually moves onward to heaven. The following is from the book description...

'Crissi Langwell has written a novel of love and loss in a portrait of one woman's journey through the afterlife. Langwell shares the story of two single parents striving to blend their families only to be ripped apart by death. The tale continues beyond the grave, offering a beautiful yet somber glimpse into the mystical world of spirits, and the heartache and healing in the world of the living. The lives of the characters slowly unravel, coming apart at the ends as they endure drastic change and devastating loss. But a glimmer of grace is revealed in the midst of tragedy. The story expands beyond mourning the loss of carefully laid out plans, revealing the emergence of hope and the evolution of strength in learning how to let go.' 

I was a wee bit disappointed that Rachel never did find her son Joey, but as the book explains,  when we pass on, we each enter into our own reality. As Rachel's Aunt Rose, her spirit guide tells her, "He's in his own reality. And he's safe.  I assure you.  We all are.  But you won't see him until it's time."  But, all is not lost in this sense. I guessing we will find out what happens to mother and child when her new book, "Forever Thirteen" is published in 2014.  I know I, for on, will be anxiously waiting for i.   

Monday This and That

This is the newest little Angel in my collection.  

This is a closeup. She is so beautiful.  How could I possibly resist?

I had a very nice weekend.  On Friday I finished the Christmas decorations.  I do miss my village, but there was just no way getting around it.  It had to go.  When one makes the choice to downsize, choices have to be made, and there was just no room for it in my new home.  On Saturday I boiled the turkey bones, and on Sunday after attending church, I I put my turkey soup together.  Now all I have to do is add the rice, and our meal tonight is ready. 

Remember last week when I said I was having a stressful time, but was going to let it ruin my Thanksgiving? Well, it seem that I've run into even more problems now with my pension, and I have really had it with the union.  I think it's time to get legal representation. Two weeks ago I had been told everything was in order, and I should receive a letter any day telling me the exact amount I will be getting retroactively and when it will be deposited in my account. After that, regular pension checks will begin coming in on the first of every month. Oh, I was so happy to have this mess behind me and looking forward to having a few extra funds for the holidays. 

Nothing should go wrong now...or so I thought.  On Wednesday, a letter arrived telling me that they had the 'wrong' application on file for me, and if I could 'please' fill out the application enclosed and send it back to them they will get to work on getting my pension out to me. This will take at least 30 days after they receive it...bringing me past Christmas and most likely into January. Of course, as usual the form was not enclosed. This seems to be a regular little ploy of theirs to delay things further.

The story I got was totally unbeliveable. According to the person I spoke with, according to her records, my funds are 'in calculation', which should be the last step before my funds are mailed out, but there is a holdup because accounting picked up that I filled out the wrong form. "Wrong form? You sent it to me", I scream. "What the heck is going on?  After all the hoops you put me through to get MY money, now this? This is unacceptable, asnd has been going on too long."  My application was processed June 25th, and my pension was due to begin August 1st. This time I threaten legal action.

Very quickly I am  transferred to a  supervisor. She explains to me that yes, they did make a mistake and send me the wrong form.  It seems that one of the local unions, 144, merged with 1199 about fifteen years ago, and all employees that had been under local 144 had to fill out the application that they sent me...'but you weren't in 144 so you needed the regular 1199 form' she explains. Yes, she apologizes, I do need to fill out a new form. By now I am hysterical, literally, for now I have reached the point of tears, and once that happens, I have reached my boiling point. "Why am I being penalized for your mistakes? I did everything you asked. What do I do now for the holidays?" 

I not too nicely explain to her that due to their incompetence in sending me proof of income I have not been able to apply for food stamps and now have to pay a rent increase because I had no proof of income to show SCRIE, the organization that would have paid my increase for me.  Now I have to wait until next December. Grrrr!!!!

Then, later in the afternoon I receive a call from a man with a heavy Indian accent who tells me he is from Microsoft, and that malicious content has been showing on my computer.  "What?  In 9 years I never heard from Microsoft.  Why now?"  I respond.  He doesn't reply to that.  Instead, "if you go to your computer, I will show you where it is and we can get rid of it."  "My computer is off and it takes 15 minutes to warm up." I say.  "Well, can I call you back in 15 minutes?"  "You can," I reply, "but if you know what's good for you you won't.  I'm not in a very good mood right now, and I do not appreciate your trying to scam me."  He promptly hung up. 

That's one of the latest scams going around, so beware.  Someone calls and says they are from Microsoft to tell you you have a virus or malicious content on your computer.  They then get the unsuspecting victim to allow them remote access to their computer, and that's it, your hacked.  Or they place a program on your computer which they then try to bill for. It takes all kinds. 

I was watching the news the other morning and was sickened by those throngs of Black Friday shoppers.  In one scene they showed the store opening and the throngs pouring in like animals, wide-eyed and frenzied,  in search of prey. The bickering, the physical fighting, the father who left his baby in the car so he could shop.  Disgusting. 'Black' is truly the correct word for  a day that brings out this dark side of humanity.  What I saw was humanity at its worse. Old fashioned human greed and gluttony.  In fact, studies have shown that at least 50 percent of those rabid, wild-eyed shoppers are not shopping for gifts for others, but rather for themselves...and for things they don't even need. And now it has gotten worse.  Now it begins on Thanksgiving, a day which was once reserved as a day to give thanks for our blessings as we spend quality time with our family friends. 

And one may say the retailers are at fault, but it's the shoppers who who are really to blame.  If they chose instead to stay home and enjoy this extra day of family time, the stores would have no reason to open.  It's like I used to tell my clients when they relapsed and told me that their friends were using and it was too tempting.  My response was, 'No one twisted your arm to use, though.  It was your choice.' And that is the same with Black Friday.  No one is 'forcing' the shoppers to go.  It is their choice.

When I was growing up, there was no such thing as 'Black Friday'.  Stores remained closed, and most of us did a whole lot of nothing. Fortunately, there are still many of us who believe that the old ways are the better ways and  that there so much more to life than the materialism that has overtaken our society.  I chose to spend Thanksgiving Day with my family and later that evening, we decorated my tree.  On Friday, I decorated the rest of the room, rest, read, and ate leftovers.  No Black Friday for me.  They can keep it. It's an old-fashioned Thanksgiving for me.

It is preoccupation with possessions, more than anything else, that prevents us from living freely and nobly. 

Thoreau 

 Any so-called material thing that you want is merely a symbol: you want it not for itself, but because it will content your spirit for the moment. 

Mark Twain

 

Friday Roundup

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow. 

 Melody Beattie 

Greetings on this Friday, the day after Thanksgiving.  I had a wonderful time yesterday. We had a great meal and I enjoyed spending some  real quality time with my sons who I rarely see.  I've been through some stressful situations this past week, but for today, I want to savor the joys of yesterday.  

Miss Minga was just as I expected.  She carried on from the time I put the turkey into the oven.  Every time I went into the kitchen I heard it.  It amazes me how she knows, although it really shouldn't.  After 21 years it is natural to know the difference between a turkey and a roast.  Well, after two servings of turkey liver, she continued to beg and feasted on bits of turkey that my sons felt compelled to feed her.  It was too funny.  She could have gone on all night if we let her, but that is another thing she knows.  When lights, candles, television, etc. go off, it's bed time, and she curls up in her respective place and goes to sleep.

 The rest of our feast, followed by.....

Did you see those shoppers and their gray Thursday shopping?  Disgusting.  Thanksgiving is family time, a time to give thanks and show gratitude, not to be pushing and shoving each other to find the best bargain.  Greed, nothing more.  Wouldn't see that when I was growing up.  We have become  so materialistic.  

In the late evening, after my sons had headed back to their respective homes, I found some quiet time for me, took out my journal, and listed  all the things I have to be grateful for this year... 

...I am grateful for my loving and supportive family-- a husband who loves me and my two amazing sons.

...I am grateful that Miss Minga was still here to celebrate another Thanksgiving with us, her 21st, and I was grateful to hear her cries as she rather impatiently awaited her Thanksgiving treat...the liver.

...I am grateful  and blessed to have such wonderful friends in my life.

... I am grateful for tradition and how it is all coming back to me. 

...I am grateful for my memories that remind me of times' long ago and those people who meant so much to me.

...I am grateful that I am no longer hungry and a home that is filled with love and warmth

...I am grateful to have blessed with strength during my times of adversity. 

...I am grateful for my guardian angel who has stepped into save me many times during my life.

...I am grateful for retirement and the joy and happiness that now comes into my life every day. 

...I am grateful for good times, laughter, and joy.

..I am grateful for the blessing that is life. 

Wishing you all a weekend filled with joy and laughter.  See you on Monday.

Happy Thanksgiving

The year has turned its circle,

The seasons come and go.

The harvest all is gathered in

And chilly north winds blow.

Orchards have shared their treasures,

The fields, their yellow grain,

So open wide the doorway ---

Thanksgiving comes again!

Old Rhyme

Let us cherish family
and friends throughout
this holiday season.  Wishing you all a day filled with love, laughter, and peace.
Happy Thanksgiving.  

The Desiderata

On this, the morning of the eve before the holiday, I want  take a moment to wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving and could not think of a more perfect day to repost the following famous poem.  May the following lines act as a beacon of light for each and every one of us.

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly, and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they, too, have their story. 

Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others you may become vain and bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let not this blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings.

Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars, and you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore, be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be; and whatever your labors and aspirations in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy!

Max Ehrmann