TGIF

Spring's Promises

The spring is fresh and fearless

And every leaf is new,

The world is brimmed with moonlight,

The lilac brimmed with dew.

Here in the moving shadows

I catch my breath and sing,

My heart is fresh and fearless

And over-brimmed with spring.

  By Sara Teasdale

Ah, the weekend is here again, and it looks to be a great one weather-wise. I'm looking forward to heading out to the fruit stand on Saturday and Sunday I will probably just rest up.

Thanks for all the compliments about my Miss Minga. For those who don't know, my baby will be 21 in July. I've had her since she was a baby. Our neighbor's cat gave birth to four kittens. They were such wee little things. Hubby and I loved the mama cat, and when the kittens were old enough, we used to bring them to our place to play. One day our neighbor was outside bragging about how he used to beat them up. I was livid when I heard. As soon as hubby and I got the chance, we stole all four of the kittens and found them homes. We'd already chosen to keep Miss Minga so it was a matter of placing the other three. Miss Minga has been with us ever since.  She and I have literally grown old together.

 Wishing you all a sunny and beautiful weekend!

Hail to the Sun

‎"Come the day, thief of the night

Lifts its voice to sing

Now rise up, rise up

Ever victorious

Know the time, know the light

Comes the sun again

Now rise up, rise up

Ever victorious" 

- Thea Gilmore "Sol Invictus"

Seems like summer has arrived. Predictions of going up into the 90's. Yikes!!!!  It is too soon for that. Don't know if I am ready for that.  Spent the last few days racing through the rain drops. Yesterday it was only a shower on my way home from work, but on Tuesday, by the time I got home, my toes were all shriveled from being wet  so long. It is so, so good to see the sun.  Just not looking forward to the humidity that is supposed to go along with it. Hubby had a hard time of it.  He's a man who has always been on the go, and it is hard for him to give up the things he once enjoyed...like his long walks to the park on hot summer days. 

I told someone the other day I would post a picture of Miss Minga, and here it is.  This is my girl.  Love her with all my heart.

It's totally official now.  My job is being posted. Officially I have 31 days to go, but I also have nine sick days to use up and a holiday in between. As I sit here procrastinating, wishing I didn't have to go, I'm  thrilled with the thought of being free, of being able to sleep as late as I wish and decide for myself if I want to go out in the bad weather or not. Breakfast has not been a big thing in my house as we both had jobs and usually ate out because there was no time to eat in the morning.  But, now I have been hoarding recipes of special and healthy breakfast treats.  I can't wait, but oddly, now as I am anxiously awaiting something, time has slowed to a standstill...much like when I was a child awaiting the arrival of Santa Claus.  I always said that time passes to quickly; well, now it is just the opposite.  

But, that is okay, too, for it is nice to have something to look forward to.  May you all have a great day.

The future you shall know when it has come; before then, forget it.

Aeschylus

 

Carlos Castenada

Everything we do, everything we are, rests on our personal power. If we have enough of it, one word is enough to change the course of our lives. If we don't, the most magnificent piece of wisdom can be revealed to us and that revelation won't make a damn bit of difference. Do you know that at this very moment you are surrounded by eternity? And do you know you can use that eternity, if you so desire? Do you know that you can extend yourself forever in any direction and use it to take the totality of yourself forever in any direction? Do you know that one moment can be eternity? If you had enough personal power, my words alone would serve as a means to round up the totality of yourself and get to the crucial part of it out of the boundaries in which it is contained.

From 'Tales of Power' 

The above is the only book I have left of the series written by Carlos Castaneda. It is beaten up, to be sure, and the cover was destroyed years ago. For some reason, this is the one I couldn't let go.  Castaneda died of liver cancer in 1999, but in the 60's, he was 'the man', the 'godfather of the New Age.' I guess perhaps it might be a reminder of my youth. I came of age with the  teachings of this man.

I was in my 20's and working at an answering service during the evening hours.  By 7 pm the place quieted down and we all brought out  our books and whatever else we had to occupy our time. There was a young woman who worked there. We always seemed to grab the boards next to each other. I remember her name was Adriane, and she was very deep into Castenada's teachings. She was such a believer. At the time, I was very much into the Rosicrucians and was taking both their astrology and philosophy course, but the covers on Adriane's books looked so inviting. She began to talk to me about his teachings, and before I knew it, I was reading his books right along with her.

They now say that his writings were a hoax.  Well, I knew they were all along. I read his books not because I believed his far-fetched tales, but because I liked some of the things he had to say.  His words were meaningful. Judge for yourself.

The trick is in what one emphasizes. We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same.

“The aim is to balance the terror of being alive with the wonder of being alive.”

Dwelling upon the self too much produces terrible fatigue. A man in that position is deaf and blind to everything else. The fatigue itself makes him cease to see the marvels all around.

Things don't change. You change your way of looking, that's all.

As long as a man feels that he is the most important thing in
the world, he cannot really appreciate the world around him. He is
like a horse with blinders; all he sees is himself, apart from
everything else.

What we need to do to allow magic to get hold of us is to
banish doubts from our minds. Once doubts are banished anything is
possible.

Tuesday This and That

Had a great weekend, made even greater by having an extra day off.  Did my food shopping and cooking on Saturday.  On Sunday I went searching for some, what I call, 'retirement clothes'; that is, clothes that are not to be worn to work.  In that department, my closet is bare. I found three very plain little sundresses for hot days and a pair of shorts.  The dresses are perfect for lounging around the house or, with a piece of costume jewelry, out to the park. It is an awful picture, but they are actually really very pretty, nice and soft and a wee bit shiny. This is all I plan on buying. Have to hold onto my money, and I have plenty of little tops and skirts that I wore to work that I can now wear to the senior center.

Yesterday I dug out the George Foreman for an indoor cookout.  We had ribs and chicken, potato salad, corn on the cob, and a watercress and cucumber salad with a homemade Balsamic Vinaigrette. I am a potato salad lover, but I'm the only one who eats it, so I make it rarely.  For dessert, we had blueberry pie with a scoop of vanilla ice cream and a strawberry on top for the red, white, and blue.  Needless to say, I ate too much.  

After getting my clothes ready for the work week, I settled down in my chair and read...and read...and read.  This time I found a great fiction trilogy by Mary Gilgannon.  'The Silver Wheel'. The trilogy includes: 'Lady of the Moon', 'The Raven of Death' and 'The Silver Wheel'. Set in ancient Celtic Britain during the period of the Roman invasion, the book relates the story of a young Drui-in-training whose gifts of vision have been passed down from the 'Old Ones' via her matrilineal line. The adventure begins when our heroine has a vision warning of death and destruction for her people and sets out with two friends, one gifted in traveling to the spirit world, and the other, a young warrior who is in love with her, to save her people from the Roman invaders.

"The book is steeped in Celtic philosophy and mystical belief, and also has supernatural/magical elements. But it is primarily a historical novel, telling the story of the Roman conquest of Britain from the standpoint of the Britons."

As usual, whenever I read a book such as this, I find myself becoming lost in dreams and visions and cannot shake that feeling that "I was there".

On another note, I do believe we have a haunting in the apartment upstairs. The people upstairs moved out awhile ago.  I think they had no choice, if you ask me.  One day when I was in my apartment I heard a commotion in the lobby, and, of course, nosey person that I am, I had to look and see what was going on.  It was two women arguing, one the woman from upstairs, and the other woman was yelling about her son.  The super's wife was there as well, and I heard her tell the woman who lived upstairs that she'd better start controlling her son, that the next time she would call the police.  Shortly after that, they moved out. 

Well, the men have long finished with the painting and whatever else they do to make the apartment ready for the next person, but no one has yet to move in.  One evening I heard someone moving around upstairs, and I asked hubby if someone had moved in.  "Not that I know of", he responded.  The telltale sign that he was right was the lack of the sound of a toilet flushing.  Yes, I know that sounds crazy, but in this building we have these high powered toilets that sound like they are about to take off when one flushes them.  If I am quiet, I can here the toilet on floor three flushing.  When the toilet upstairs from me is flushed, it sounds as if it is coming from my house.  (So much for bathroom privacy). 

So, to make a long story short, there is NO ONE living upstairs, yet on several occasions I have heard someone moving around up there. The latest was Sunday night, or should I say Monday morning around 3 am.  I heard footsteps enter the bedroom, move about, then exit to nowhere...and I mean nowhere.  They virtually disappeared when the exited the bedroom. There has been nothing ever since.  Strange happenings, indeed.

Well, time to get a move on. Talk to you all tomorrow.  Have a great day.

Happy Memorial Day

No warrior he, a village lad,

needing nor words nor other prod

To point his duty; he was glad
to tread the path his fathers trod.
Week days he worked in wood and field;
with homely joys he decked his life;
The sword of hate he would not wield,
nor take a part in cankering strife.
On Sunday in the little choir
he sang of Peace and brotherly love,
And as his thoughts soared higher and higher,
they reached unmeasured heights above.

A cry for Freedom rent the Land -
"Our Country calls, come, come, 'tis War;
Together let us firmly stand;"
he answered, though his heart beat sore
At leaving home, and kin, and one
in whose fond eyes too late he read
That life for her had but begun
with the farewells he sadly said.

A half a century has passed -
and more - since all those myriads fell;
For he was one of those who cast
sweet life into a Battle's hell.
The village has become a town,
brick buildings the old graveyard gird;
Of him who fought not for renown,
no one now hears a spoken word,
But on the Monument his name
in gold is lettered with the rest.
Without a sordid thought of fame
he to his Country gave his best.

Strew flowers, then, Memorial Day
for him, for all who for us fought.
With speech and music honors pay;
teach what our brave defenders taught.
And now our sons are setting out;
the call for Right rings to the sky,
"Our Country! Freedom!" hear them shout,
re-echoing their Grandsires' cry.

Helen Leah Reed 

And remembering the many, many more whose graves I have not yet found. We remember.

Happy Memorial Day to all.

TGIF

A carpenter and his apprentice were walking together through a large forest.
And when they came across a tall, huge, gnarled, old, beautiful oak tree,
the carpenter asked his apprentice: "Do you know why this tree
is so tall, so huge, so gnarled, so old and beautiful?" The apprentice
looked at his master and said: "No. . . why?" "Well," the carpenter said,
"because it is useless. If it had been useful it would have been cut
long ago and made into tables and chairs, but because it is useless it
could grow so tall and so beautiful that you can sit in its shade and relax."

Tao Story

I always love the Friday before a long holiday weekend, especially when it's a pay week.  It means that that even though pay weeks are cooking weekends, I will still have two days of rest.  

Didn't get my blood taken yesterday.  I'm beginning to think the Universe is trying to tell me something.  First it was the EKG machine not working when I go for the test...this after being misdirected and sent to the other side of the hospital to admitting where I waited almost an hour before being told I was in the wrong place.  Then, it was back to where I started from only to find that the machine was not working.  So, you guessed it.  Back to admitting so I can be tested by the machine upstairs.

Then, Monday rolls along.  The most important of the lab tests have not been done.  These are the tests that show whether or not I am a bleeder.  The doctor explained that this is very important when it comes to the lungs. The doctor apologizes and gives me another referral to the lab.  It was then that the following conversation between doctor and nurse ensued...

Nurse: (to me) 'Don't go back there.  You come to see me and I will do it for  you.'

Doctor:  'She shouldn't be billed again.'

Nurse: 'Don't worry.  I'll take care of it. She won't be charged.'

Doctor: 'Are you sure?'

Nurse:  'Definitely. Leave it up to me.'  (to me now) 'I am going to be in on Thursday from 8 am to 4:30 pm.  Come between those hours and come immediately to see me. I'll take care of you.'

Fast forward to yesterday.  Now, mind you, the lab is two blocks from my home.  Walking distance.  Once I am done there, I walk two blocks to a bus which takes me to the train.  Very easy trip.  I have to take a taxi to get to the hospital as there is no buses from my home that go directly there.  I'd prefer the lab rather than spending money I don't have, but this blood work is important.  So, I opt for the nurse.

Yesterday, I walk into the clinic and find it packed with people.  No problem, I thought.  They are all there to see one of the  doctors.  I am only here for the nurse. I explain to the front desk what I am there for, and she asked for my referral form.  No problem.  I hand it to her and take a seat. 15 minutes pass, 30 minutes, 45 minutes. There is no sign of the nurse in question.  'Did something happen and she took off today?'  I wonder.  Now I am beginning to get anxious. I go back to the desk and am told that the nurse has my form. I take a seat again.  60 minutes pass. 

Finally, I see the nurse in question and approach her.  She looks at me like she doesn't know who I am as I explain why I am there.   'Where's your referral form?' she asks, not too pleasantly I may add. I explain that I handed it in to the front desk.  'Without that  form, I can't do anything.' She turns and walks away.  'Don't you remember me?' I call out, but she just keeps walking as if I am some insignificant nothing.  I am furious now, but I take a seat again.  

Now we are reaching an hour and a half.  The lady at the front desk calls me.  'Finally,'  I sigh, relieved, but instead of instructing me to go to the back, she hands me a referral to go to the lab, the very same lab I was originally referred to. By now my pressure is through the roof, and I am ready to explode.  On the way out of the hospital, I tell my story to anyone who will listen. A nice hospital worker tells me he is having a bad day to and offers to listen, "You tell me yours, and I will tell  you mine," he says. (Turns out they took too much in taxes from his pay check.) I also told the security guard, two patients, and the lady at the information desk. I had to get it off my chest.  In the afternoon I left a message for my doctor and typed up a letter of complaint against the hospital.

 Needless to say, I've pretty much used up all my sick time and had I headed back to the lab, there would have been no sense in going to work. And I need my days for the biopsy. Whichever way I look at it, it was a wasted day all around. Too much has been going wrong with these pre-op procedures.  Can't help but question if there is a reason for it.  Is the Universe reaching out to me?  I am beginning to wonder.

Nevertheless, this is a holiday weekend, and I am going to brush the above out of my mind and enjoy.  On Monday, I'm going to whip out the George Foreman and grill some chicken and hamburgers.  We'll have some salads and ice cream and celebrate life in honor of those who gave their lives so that we may be free to celebrate.  Enjoy, my friends.

Wishing you all a Happy Memorial Day Weekend.

I Believe

Hope for a great sea-change
On the far side of revenge.
Believe that a further shore
Is reachable from here.
Believe in miracles
And cures and 
healing wells.

Seamus Heaney 

Do I believe in miracles? Yes! Do I believe in healing? Yes! 

I believe. 

Well, I am off to get my blood drawn before work.....again.  This is the second week in a row. I am not the spring chicken I once was, and all this running around is catching up to me. Hope you all have a wonderful day.