Monday Morning This and That

Happy Monday morning.  I had a great Imbolc even though I wasn't able to find my white candles.  I'd planned on stopping after work on Friday, but there was a huge water main break in the area where I work, and my train wasn't running.  Of course it had to happen just at my train station, on a Friday afternoon when all one wants is to get home, but then, things do happen that are beyond our control, and we have to learn to deal with them. Needless to say, my new route to get home consisted of three trains and a bus.  I knew this was going to take awhile so shopping went out the window, but just think about how good it felt when I finally did get home.

Not being able to get my candles was really the least of my problems. The break had been so huge that water pressure was extremely low around the area.  Hence, there were no restrooms to be found all the way down to 14th Street. I work on 25th Street, and the pipe busted on 23rd Street. Many of the area restaurants were forced to close. It happened while I was running my group, and as soon as I found out, I immediately felt as if I had to go. It was like how, as soon as you polish your nails, everything begins to itch. Ah, that magnificent the power of thought.

So, on Imbolc I cooked almost all day.  For dinner I made the cheddar, broccoli, and potato soup I spoke about, and right now, I am wishing I had made more.  It was so good, but unlike the other soups that I cook and freeze, I just don't think this one would do so well.  I was too darned tired to make my Irish Soda Bread, so we settled for biscuits.  Dessert consisted of seedless red grapes, swiss cheese, and walnuts.  (I love just throwing things together like that.)

The statue of Mary Magdalene that I had ordered didn't arrive, so my altar was devoid of goddess and white candles, but holidays and other special days are what we make of them.  My evening was spent with some quiet time and plans for new beginnings. 

You have to believe in happiness,

Or happiness never comes ...

h, that's the reason a bird can sing -

On his darkest day he believes in Spring.

Douglas Malloch

On Sunday, after my ironing, I began reading "The Healing Wisdom of Birds: An Everyday Guide to Their Spiritual Songs and Symbolism" by Lesley Morrison.  I've had it for awhile; I just didn't realize how darned good it was. I've always been fascinated with birds as evidenced by my almost obsession with the hummingbirds and eagles. This book examines the symbolism of our feathered friends by exploring goddess such as Aphrodite, Lakshmi, Freya, and Athena--to name a few--magical practices and the relationship they share with Shamans, religion, etc., and reveals how they can guide us today. I absolutely love it and find myself unable to put this book down, and I can only hope to get a seat on the way to work so I can get some reading done.

I've had birds off and on throughout my life, and each has taught me a lesson.  From the canaries of my youth, I learned of love...as well as the pain of loneliness.  Shortly after laying her eggs, the female died.  The male, heartbroken, followed shortly thereafter. From my deformed robin I learned that it is possible for one to transcend the boundaries of the wild and the civilized. He taught m about trust and the joy of friendship. And from my parakeets, with their joyous singing from morning til night, I learned that one can find pleasure and beauty in everything. 

Hoping you all have a great day.

Do you ne'er think what wondrous beings these?

Do you ne'er think who made them, and who taught

The dialect they speak, where melodies

Alone are the interpreters of thought?

Whose household words are songs in many keys,

Sweeter than instrument of man e'er caught!

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Imbolc Blessings

If Candlemass day be dry and fair,
The half o' winter to come and mair
If Candlemass day be wet and foul.
The half o' winter gane at Yule.

Well, as another Friday rolls around, we enter February.  Imbolc has finally arrived.  I can't find the white candles I bought several months ago, so I plan to stop on the way home and buy some.  Hope I don't have to run around to much because on Friday, all I want to do is get home. This  is a shopping and cooking weekend, I plan to make the best of this Imbolc.  Actually, cooking won't be so bad.  It seems that I overcooked last time and have three meals still left for hubby and enough to last me two weeks.  But, I do want to make more black bean soup and some garlic chicken. 

Something happened this week that I just had to share with you.  Hubby's sister called him on Wednesday night and asked him not to go out on Thursday because she had a dream that something bad was going to happen, that someone was going to rob him.  Well, to make a long story short, he did go out out yesterday to move his car and discovered that  someone had broken into it.  They broke the window and took his GPS, but nothing else.  I'm so grateful that the insurance paid for it. For that I am so grateful.

Wow, time has flown by so quickly this morning that suddenly it is time to get ready for work. It's cold again outside, but hopes for Spring abound.  Love you all.  Wishing you all a wonderful weekend. May your Imbolc be one of love, joy, new beginnings, and peace. Many blessings to you all. See you on Monday.

“Perhaps on this Imbolc, Brighid will ignite some fire in me that will illuminate ways in which I can better align myself with the rhythms of the earth. Perhaps I will see in the mind of my heart some memory of a simpler time; an ancient world that my spirit belonged to, and still belongs to. Perhaps when that happens I will think of the ewe, and the newborn sheep, and I will see in them something true about the world, about myself, and about the Great Mystery to which we all belong.” 

 Teo Bishop

The Navajo Night Way Ceremony

The following picture hangs on the wall in the entrance to my home. It is quite old. Actually, it was a page from an old calendar that reached out and touched me, so I could not let it go. Aside from the wonderful picture, it was the first calendar hubby and I ever hung in our home.  So I framed it and made sure it had a prominent place in my household ever since. 

In beauty may I walk

All day long may I walk

Through the returning seasons may I walk

Beautifully I will possess again

Beautifully birds

Beautifully joyful birds

On the trail marked with pollen may I walk

With grasshoppers about my feet may I walk

With dew about my feet may I walk

With beauty may I walk

With beauty before me may I walk

With beauty behind me may I walk

With beauty above me may I walk

With beauty all around me may I walk

In old age, wandering on a trail of beauty,

lively, may I walk

In old age, wandering on a trail of beauty,

living again, may I walk

It is finished in beauty

It is finished in beauty

Anonymous 

The Navajo Nightway is a long healing ritual which both physical and spiritual health. The Nightway is considered by some tto be the most powerful ceremony in that it is believed to contain the combined power of all other ceremonies.

Wednesday Ramble

When you arise in the morning, give thanks for the morning light,

for your life and strength. Give thanks for your food and the joy

of living. If you see no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies in yourself.

Tecumseh

I had a nice day yesterday. It takes no planning to feel grateful.  It only calls for a change in the thought process, to rise in the morning and look forward to the day. The truth is, life is only as good as we allow it to be. Constant griping and a lack of gratitude for the little things that cross our lives can make us into miserable people. It's up to us how we look at life.  For example, life hasn't blessed me with a lot of money, and I know I will never own my own home, but I don't dwell on it.  Home is where the heart is and life has blessed me with just enough to to have a comfortable place to come home to, something that many people do not have. Life has blessed me with a loving husband, loving sons, and Miss Minga, my loyal friend. Nothing gives me more joy than sitting in my rocking chair after a hard day of work with Miss Minga at my feet.  

I am grateful for the warmer temperatures and the gentle peek of the sun.  Reminds me that Imbolc is on its way.  Hubby has been sick with a cold and is now on the mend. Boy, am I ever grateful for that! The man has dealt with a dreadful car accident, cancer, numerous liver biopsies, a year of giving himself shots in his stomach that made him nauseous throughout the weekend, and pneumonia to name a few...but it is the common cold that brings him to his knees. 

I've been going through something on the job lately that has really brought me to the verge of quitting.  I've not mentioned it here before, but there is a male client who has been acting quite threatening to me and several other female counselors.  He tries to intimidate us by raising his fists. He has done that twice with me, and I tell you know, I was shaking in my boots, but I couldn't show fear.  Not easy standing there and not even flinching when someone with a known history of violence and mental illness is approaching you looking as if they are going to kick the crap out of you, but showing fear only invites further threats.  One cannot give in because when you do, you lose all control.  

Like Monday, I had just finished putting away breakfast--which clients know is served from 9 am to 9:45 am.  He came into the room at five minutes to ten and demanded a juice.  I told him "I'm sorry, but breakfast is over." He then got this angry look on his face, stomped his foot pretending to take a step towards me, and raising his fist.  I stood my ground.  If you give in once, he's got you, and that is the biggest part of his game.  One counselor is so afraid of him that she lets him come to group long after group has started.  She is afraid to tell him no.

Well, after I told my boss, "If he steps to me again, I am walking out.  I don't like feeling threatened, and don't feel that I should have to be afraid to come to work", several other people came forward.  In one group, a young intern's group, he picked up a chair and threw it across the room because she told him to have a seat.  Several other staff members from the maintenance crew came to complain that he approached them outdoors asking for a cigarette, and when they refused, he stated, "I'll f.... you up."  Another counselor went to a family Christening party on Saturday that just happened to be in the neighborhood where she lived.  He followed her in there.  She only found out he was there was someone pointed him out and said, "Why is that guy staring at you?' 

Well, I am totally grateful to all of these people for stepping up as they did.  Word got to the higher ups, and they want him out. Staff should NEVER be put in a position where they are threatened.  My boss, as nice as he is, is a wimp. I'm sorry that he got into some trouble over this, but we have to be protected.  I am grateful to her for stepping in and putting staff first.  It is about time.

Thanks for letting me share.

Today I Give Thanks

I give thanks for the breath that opens out my lungs.

I give thanks for the sun, bringing light and warmth to Earth.

I give thanks for the birds, who remind me it is morning.

I give thanks for life. I give thanks for life.

I am thankful for this day.

T. Thorn Coyle: Know Thyself

On these dreary, cold winter mornings, it can be easy to  forget about the little blessings in our daily lives. There are times I don't even want to crawl out of bed. "Why me?" I ask. "Why do I have to work so hard just to live?"  Well, why not me? Today I choose grateful words, thoughts, and actions all day long. I am thankful for the wonderful gift of being. I am thankful for all the people and things that I have in life. I am grateful for another day.

. 

Monday Morning This and That

We either make ourselves miserable, or we make

ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same.

Carlos Castaneda

Well, it is Monday morning following a rather uneventful weekend.  I played hooky on Friday. I just wasn't into facing that brutal cold, although later on in the morning, I did head out to Rite Aid and the fruit stand.  Bought some  new candles in delicious warm weather scents--Cotton Comfort, Lake House, and Ocean Breeze (a triple header), Jasmine & Hyacinth, and Summer Rain. Saturday and Sunday were free days, oh, so free.  Nothing on my agenda.  Because I had taken off on Friday, I accomplished all my planned deeds on that day. 

On Saturday I was able to polish off "Soul Sisters", and although I thoroughly enjoyed the book, some of the chapters did open up some old wounds, but I am wondering if perhaps that is because I am finally ready to face them. They say that everything comes into our lives for a reason.  I guess that can even mean a book. Began reading "Circle of Stones: Woman's Journey to Herself" by Judith Duerk.  I'm sure many of you have already read this book. I loved it when I read it years ago and was thrilled to find it in Kindle form.  I love the way the author poses thought-provoking questions at the end of each chapter and then asks, "How might your life be different?" Really gives one food for thought.

Oh, before I forget, I finally opened a new checking account.  Of course, I am afraid that they might grab it like they did before so I plan to keep only a small amount in there.  I've checked my credit rating and nothing appears, but ironically, nothing appeared the last time either.  For those who don't know, about twenty odd years ago I co-signed for my ex-husband to get a credit card.  My credit was perfect, but he was having a problem, and in those days, one could co-sign for another.  I don't know if they still do that for a mere credit card. 

Well, to make a long story short, I left my ex shortly thereafter.  Don't know why I assumed that he took care of things.  Guess I was just plain naive at the time.  My ex died in 1996, and being that I was the co-signer it reverted to me.  I never knew anything about it because I NEVER received a bill so that credit card was the furthest thing from my mind until I went to the bank one morning to draw out my rent money and found that my account was minus $5,000. Ironically from 1996 to 2008 they sent everything to my old address, but miraculously found my new address and my bank account number when they wanted to. 

It turns out that my ex had run up the card to its max. The company had gone to court and won a judgment.  When the judgment wasn't paid, they turned it over to a collection agency.  After ten years, this collection agency went to court to again to hold the judgment for another ten years.   A judgment can be held open for twenty years, but only if they go to court again at ten years. If nothing is done within twenty years, the judgment is void. It seems that all around people were slimy about this.  My ex for allowing it to happen, the credit card company itself for not bothering to follow through on the judgment, and this sleazy collection agency who held this judgment until the ten years was almost over so they could drain the most money from me. Needless to say, I had to pull the rent money from my estate account, almost draining it. Then they proceeded to garnish my salary for almost two years. It is only now that I find myself able to get somewhat back on track, but now with hubby not working and going through these treatments, I seem to be at a standstill.  This is why I refuse to retire at this time.  I cannot afford to. 

Before closing, I wanted to share the above with you. This is the wall of the building next door.  The picture was taken from my kitchen window.  Yes, I know, not so pretty to look at, but I wanted to show you the two orbs. I took this picture on my camera almost a year ago, but was then unable to download it.  It took me this long to see it again.  Notice the star like symbol within.  I've gone outdoors from and looked from all angles, but have found nothing to explain these strange orbs.

TGIF

Well, the cold temperatures have abated some.  It is a few degrees warmer, but it is still colder than we are used to.  A few warm winters changed us into a bunch of 'wimps'. Yesterday's trip to the pulmonologist went much as I expected yet it didn't stop me from shaking in my boots.   Since it has been awhile, he has me scheduled for another Cat Scan, but he still claims it looks much like a benign Coin Lesion. My lungs were clear, and that is good.  My blood pressure was 149 over 84 which I think is great seeing the circumstances.  As the day wore on, and the time got closer for my appointment, I could feel my nerves starting to build up so I thought it would be sky high.  

All the while I held my Amber tightly in my hand. It was a special gift from a special friend who travelled to Mexico not too long ago and went to visit the Mayan ruins.  The Amber itself is said to come from a tree nearly 2 million years old.  I cherish it and keep it with me always.

Our very first problem is to accept our present circumstances as they are,

ourselves as we are, and the people about us as they are. This is

to adopt a realistic humility without which no genuine advance can even

begin. . . . Provided we strenuously avoid turning these realistic surveys of the

facts of life into unrealistic alibis for apathy or defeatism, they can be

the sure foundation upon which increased emotional health

and therefore spiritual progress can be built.

As Bill Sees It

This past week we watched a film in my group about  Bill W., the founder of Alcoholics Anonymous. This was not the film that was shown in the theaters and on television. This was a documentary which has never been seen. The disc was a gift from an intern who worked closely with me during her time at our program. Her husband worked on the production of the documentary which included the 'real' Bill.  This was such a special treat because he was such a special man. One doesn't have to be an alcoholic or an addict to appreciate his way of thinking.  The following are some of my favorite quotes.

“To the world you may be one person but to one person you may be the world.” 

“Believe more deeply. Hold your face up to the light,even though for the moment you do not see.” 

"Learning how to live in the greatest peace, partnership, and brotherhood with all men and women, of whatever description, is a moving and fascinating adventure. "