The Lupercalia February 15th

Another Valentine's Day has come  and gone.   Small boxes of chocolate for my co-workers, a large heart for me which hubby will eat the most of.  No complaints from me there.  I don't enjoy candy as much as I once did. Matter of fact, the whole concept of Valentine's Day has changed for me.  Guess when you are young and in love, the romanticism of the day catches up to you, but when you've been together for 20 years, well, all I can say is that things change.  Oh, you still love each other, yes, but it is a deeper, more meaningful kind of love.  I also bought a bag of 'Sweethearts'.  That's a Valentine's treat I've enjoyed since I was a little girl. I still find joy in drawing a candy from the bag and delighting in what it says.

Many stories tell how Valentine's Day began. Some say it may have grown out of the Roman feast, the Lupercalia, a Roman festival for young lovers celebrated in the month of February. The Lupercalia, which was actually celebrated on Fegruary 15th, was one of the oldest and most beloved feast days, held in honor of the god Lupercus/Pan, who protected the people and their herds from wolves. Once and important Roman festival, it was originally a rather gruesome celebration involving blood sacrifices which I don't plan to get into here. At some point it was moved up by a day and St. Valentine became the protecting saint of all friends and lovers. 

On this day, dances were held for all the young men and women of marriageable age. The names of Roman maidens were written on slips of paper and dropped into jars. Each young man would draw a girl's name from a jar and the two would be partners for the festival...and often for an entire year. In many cases, the partners became sweethearts and were soon married.

The Christian Church substituted Saint Valentine for the old Roman god or goddess, in accordance with their general policy of retaining the old ceremonies where they could not be eliminated and merely modifying their significance. Hence, the Feast of Lupercalia was replaced with Saint Valentine's Day. Either way, the day is a symbol of love and of lovers choosing one another.  And I certainly prefer this over the gruesome spectacle it once was.
 

Love's Land

Oh Love builds on the azure sea,

And Love builds on the golden sand,

And Love builds on the rose-winged cloud,

And sometimes Love builds on the land!

Oh if Love build on sparkling sea,

And if Love build on golden strand,

And if Love build on rosy cloud,

To Love these are the solid land!

Oh Love will build his lily walls,

And Love his pearly roof will rear

On cloud, or land, or mist, or sea-

Love's solid land is everywhere!

Isabella Valancy Crawford

Happy Valentine's Day!

Parentalia February 13th

"I saw behind me those who had gone, and before me those who are to come. I looked back and saw my father, and his father, and all our fathers, and in front to see my son, and his son, and the sons upon sons beyond.

And their eyes were my eyes.

-Richard Llewellyn-

The Parentalia, or Festival of Dead Ancestors, was observed in the Roman world from February 13th through the 21st. This was a day for families to honor and commemorate their deceased loved ones, particularly their parents. During the week of parentalia, all temples in rome were closed and all wedding ceremonies forbidden. Ancestral tombs were visited and offerings of grain wine and flowers were made to family ghosts. It was a quiet, personal, reflective day, followed by a quiet reflective week or so to think about loved ones and the importance of the family.  Today we remember in similar, but somewhat different ways.  

Some of us honor our dead by visiting graves with flowers and prayers.  Jewish people light candles and say special prayers on the anniversary of their loved one's death. My sister-in-law, a devout Catholic, does the same.  Some people leave food out for ancestors and other spirits by arranging it on a small tray or plate and placing it outside of their lighted windows. Others set an extra place setting at their table on holidays or other special occasions. Ancestors are prayed to, venerated with offerings, and honored through rituals.  I choose to honor mine through an ancestral altar and genealogy...honoring them by learning their stories.

Whenever I work on my genealogy, it never ceases to amaze me how similar piecing together our family tree is to a jigsaw puzzle. Thousands of tiny pieces of information fit together to make a picture of your family's history.  Each of these pieces has its place for without them, our lives will never have been. For example, I have previously mentioned before that my second great grandfather died at age 21.  My great-grandmother was only 3 months old.  Heartbreaking, yes, but something that set in motion the events which led to my birth.  Yes, it is entirely possible that Richard and wife, Harriet, would have eventually moved to the states, but I highly doubt it.  None of Richard's family EVER left Stalham and Barton Turf so the odds of Richard's doing so were nil.

On my mom's side, my 2nd great-grandfather, Michael, enlisted to fight in the Civil War on March 17, 1862.  He deserted his unit on June 14, 1862.  My great-grandmother, Sarah, was conceived in August 1862 and born in April, 1863.  Michael eventually did return to the service and mustered out on March 17, 1865. But, I have to wonder if, had Michael not deserted, would Sarah have still been born? It was Sarah's time. She had to be born for me to exist.

The 18 year-old Sarah found employment as a servant in the home of a beloved school teacher, my second great-grandfather, Joseph, and his children.  One of these children was John Jacob, nearly ten years Sarah's senior.  The two fell in love and married one year later.  Their love spanned nearly 50 years.  Out of that union my grandmother was born.  

Your family tree is a jigsaw puzzle in which you yourself are one of the pieces.  I have  box in my house...a box filled with birth, death, marriage certificates, wills, and pictures.  Some of these puzzle pieces have already been placed; others await their own special place.  I know that one day, I will make them fit, for they are a part of who I am.  

Strangers in the Box

Come, look with me inside this drawer, 

In this box I've often seen, 

At the pictures, black and white, 

Faces proud, still, and serene.

I wish I knew the people, 

These strangers in the box, 

Their names and all their memories, 

Are lost among my socks.

I wonder what their lives were like, 

How did they spend their days? 

What about their special times? 

I'll never know their ways.

If only someone had taken time, 

To tell, who, what, where, and when, 

These faces of my heritage, 

Would come to life again.

Could this become the fate, 

Of the pictures we take today? 

The faces and the memories, 

Someday to be passed away?

Take time to save your stories, 

Seize the opportunity when it knocks, 

Or someday you and yours, 

Could be strangers in the box.

by Pamela A. Harazim

Vacation Days

Till taught by pain,

Men really know not what good water's worth;

If you had been in Turkey or in Spain,

Or with a famish'd boat's-crew had your berth,

Or in the desert heard the camel's bell,

You'd wish yourself where Truth is--in a well.

- Lord Byron-

I'm off work from now until Tuesday. I took a couple of much needed vacation days. Wish I could say I took them off for fun, but instead I took them off to heal. My sciatica has been acting up terribly, and walking on  concrete really seems to agitate it.  I've a long walk from the subway o my job, and although the walk itself has been a blessing by adding some much-needed exercise into my rather sedentary life, but, because the walk on hard concrete, right now it is not conducive to healing.  Yesterday morning, I left my house practically pain-free, and by the time I was halfway to the subway, the pain was shooting from my back right down my leg. And, I'm not even going to mention the torture of climbing the subway stairs when I arrived in the city.  I even had to call hubby to come pick me up for fear of not making it home. So, I will be staying in for a few days and using my heating pad, hopefully will help me to heal.

This is not my first bout with sciatica.  I had it about 16 years ago, and that time it was so much worse.  I couldn't walk a city block without hanging onto a pole or a parking meter, whatever was handy, the pain was so severe. Then, one day hubby talked me into going to the beach with him.  Now, it wasn't that I haven't always 'loved' the ocean, but when one is in as much pain as I was in at the time, one doesn't want to go anywhere.   Just sitting in the car on the ride to the beach was sheer torture, and all the way there, all I could think of was how miserable I was going to be lying on the beach.  I could barely rise from a chair.  How on earth was I going to get up from the ground?

I have sought the waters today; we have joined with their sap. O Agni full of moisture, come and flood me with splendour.

From the Waters of Life, A Hindu Prayer

But, that was before...before I stepped into the ocean, and the miracle occurred, because, by the time I had waded in to just above my waist, the pain that I had suffered with for months was gone.  Oh, after I was out of the water for awhile, the pain did return, but left as soon as I went back in.  Not only did Mother Ocean gift me with a short reprieve from pain, she set in motion what was the beginning of the end of that bout of sciatica.  Within a week after that day, I was well on my way to a complete recovery.

"In every drop of water, there is a story of life." 

-- Leena Arif--

Water has been here, a gift to us since the beginning of time. It is essential to life. In fact, it was the great Mother who birthed us. The sea was indeed like a mother when man himself was in his childhood. In numberless myths, it is a symbol of primordial chaos out of which life emerged. In Egyptian mythology the primeval ocean, the goddess Nun, gives birth to the sun-god Atum, who then creates the rest of the universe. Tiamat has a number of personifications in the myth and can be perceived as a shape-shifter–from ocean, to mother, to underworld river. The great African goddess, Yemaya, is the Goddess of the Ocean and the moon, guardian of women, childbirth, fertility, and witchcraft. Ran  is a Scandinavian goddess of the ocean.  Our ancestors understood her power, but unfortunately....

...many of us take her for granted today, never realizing her healing properties, nor honoring her sacredness.   Life was born of the ocean, and to this day, the primal ocean is still circulating in us. It has been millions of years since the first animals ventured out of the oceans onto land, yet the same 56 elements course through our veins that circulate in the ocean. Ocean water contains many minerals needed by your body to help heal. The natural iodine in sea water is said to relieve arthritis pain. The natural ocean water massage is relaxing. The sound of the waves is so rhythmic, slow, and calming. 

Unfortunately, it's a tad too cold now  to take a dip, but there is always mineral salts and my bathtub.  Add a few drops of my Holy Water from the healing Jordan river and a few long soaks, by Tuesday I hope to be as good as new...or, hopefully, well on my way. 

Here within the half-light 'tween the night and day

Upon the sands I lie, with thoughts that idly stirr'd

Seem, as in a dream, with life and death to play,

As o'er the sea there flits a pale white bird.

In my heart I hear it, the murmur of the sea,

Ah! and memories of other lives are stirr'd,

As somewise there came a mystic voice to me

As o'er the sea there flits a pale white bird.

Who but knows that in me is a ghost that hears

A voice it heard of old in the primeval word —

A memory so dim, it like a dream appears

As o'er the sea there flits a pale white bird!

Robert Crawford

There Go I

When you go out into this world, remember: compassion, compassion, compassion.

-Betty Williams-

When one thinks of a homeless person, the first image that usually comes to our mind is usually that of an alcoholic and a drug addict, a person who is mentally ill, or simply of a person who chooses to be homeless. Stereotypes, yes, but, while not entirely false, only present a small fraction of the reality of today's homeless people.

The reality is that the face of homelessness is changing. We are seeing more and more elderly and disabled people becoming homeless as they become displaced by the rising housing, food, and medical costs. Women and women with children are are finding themselves homeless due to poor job skills, domestic violence, high price of childcare. 

Jane Doe is one of my clients. A woman in her 50's, she lives in the shelter downstairs in my office building. She has been living there for about six months now as the workers try to find her some kind of affordable place to live. Jane is the new face of homelessness. She has a Master's Degree in business and has worked most of her adult life, saving to fulfill a lifelong dream of owning her own little craft store. And, then she got sick. Because she always worked in management and not in the union, she was not allowed to participate in the health benefits available to the union workers. She preferred saving all her money for the store, so she never paid for the high-priced health insurance available to her. She always thought, 'It will never happen to me.' But, it did. And, don't we all tend to think that way?

Joan Doe, another client, was forced to flee from her abusive husband. She now lives in what they call a Tier II shelter with her two teen-age daughters.  These are a bit more comfortable than the regular Tier I shelter as most of these shelters are run by nonprofits and offer a bedroom along with on-site services such as day care and job training. The problem is, after the job training, the jobs just aren't there anymore, and even if Joan should find a job, how is she going to pay for the two-bedroom apartment she is going to need when she gets her 5 year old son out of foster care?  The rents here are far too steep for a single woman with three children, and the housing programs which once offered assistance are no longer there.  

It's scares me; it really does.  I'll soon be 65, and I am only one paycheck away.  That possibility of being homeless hit me firsthand last week.  When I first moved into this apartment, we overpaid.  I laid out $1150 for one month rent, $1150 for security, and $1150 for the real estate agent.  After signing the lease and handing over the money orders, it turned out the wrong price had been quoted and my rent was instead lower....$1114.  I was told that they would figure out the difference and subtract from my next month's rent. Meanwhile, I had paid a full month's rent for December and did not move in until the 15th.  It was my choice, yes, but even if I had wanted to move in sooner, I couldn't for I would have had no kitchen.  The sink and counter top ordered was too large and had to be replaced.  

So, when I entered the building on the 30th of December, I found the super handing out the rent bills.  There was no bill for me.  The super said I should be happy.  Having never lived in a building before and believing that the above was being taken into account, I took it for granted that they were still working on my payments.  You can imagine what went through my mind when I finally did receive my bill on January 28th, and it was for $2158 dollars.  Luckily, I had the cash and didn't have to clean out the rest of my bank account.  I raced to their office on the 30th, before work, and paid the money.  Part of that was going to be for our sofa, but I guess that will have to wait for awhile.

Then, on the 31st I came home to find a letter  from the building management waiting for me.  Again I 'assumed'.  This time I figured it was probably another copy of the rent bill.  Can you imagine the thoughts that raced through my head when I saw those big letters on top of the letter which said 'Eviction notice'.  The letter went on to state that I had three days to pay the bill or legal fees and late charges would be added on.  I was devastated, so upset I couldn't eat...couldn't sleep.  The management office was already closed. There was nothing I could do but wait. The first thing the next morning I was on the phone.  Fortunately, I discovered the letter should never have been mailed out.  'Disregard the notice', I was told.  (Sigh)  Oh, what a relief, but...

...it really opened my eyes as to 'what if?'  What if I hadn't had that extra cash?  What if I didn't have a month's rent on hold in the bank?  What if something happens and I lose my job?  What if?  I am one paycheck away from being a 'client'.  'By the grace of God, there go I'. It's a frightening thought.  And, it could happen to any one of us.  

The story of any one person's real experience finds its 

startling parallel in that of every one of us.

James Russell Lowell

February

The February sunshine steeps your boughs and tints the buds and swells the leaves within."

- William C. Bryant -

My goodness.  Hard to believe, isn't it?  We're already into the second week of February.  I don't know about you, and maybe it is because of out weather, but this year I am really feeling Spring on its way. 

According to the Georgian calendar, February is the second month of the year; it also the shortest month. February carries with it the promise that Spring will soon return. In the Southern Hemisphere, it is the seasonal equivalent of August in the Northern Hemisphere. In common years the month has 28 days in leap years it has 29 days. Leap year occurs every 4 years (when the year is divisible by 4). There is an ancient legend that Augustus Caesar took a day from February and added it to August (the month named after him) in order to make it as long as the month names after Julius Caesar and that is how February ended up with 28 days. 

February is believed to have been derived from the Latin word 'februa' which means cleansing or purification, and reflects the purification ritual undertaken before Spring. The month is named after the Roman god, Februus, a god of purification and death, and the feast of Februalia. This month is shared by the astrological signs of Aquarius the Water Bearer and Pisces, the Two Fishes. Since the heaviest snow usually falls during this month, native tribes of the north and east most often called February’s full Moon the Full Snow Moon. Other common names include Storm Moon and Hunger Moon.

The birthstone for February is the Amethyst. The word amethyst comes from the Greek meaning 'without drunkenness', and throughout history the amethyst has been used to guard against drunkenness; it is thought to be helpful in overcoming addiction.  According to Greek myth, the Roman god of wine, Bacchus, tried to seduce the virgin nymph Amethyst whom he loved but who did not return his feelings. When Amethyst cried out to Goddess Diana for help, she immediately turned the girl into a white, shimmering stone (quartz). Driven by guilt about his behavior, remorse at its terrible consequences and grief for his love lost, He poured over the pure white crystalline form of Amethyst his most exquisite wine, saturating it until it became the purple quartz that is now known as Amethyst.

It is also used as a dream stone and to help those who suffer from insomnia. Placing an amethyst under one's pillow is believed to bring about pleasant dreams. Known as the 'Stone of Spirit' or the 'Stone of Integrity,' Amethyst has been long associated with purity and piety. Because of this, it has also been called the 'Bishop's Stone' and is still worn by Catholic Bishops.  It is thought the amethyst is the perfect stone to symbolize The Age of Aquarius.  It is the stone of the Buddha, and in Tibet it is popularly used in the making of prayer beads called Mala beads which are used in the practice of meditation.

The flower for the month of February is the iris which is Greek for rainbow. It was named after the Greek Goddess who is considered the messenger love and uses the rainbow to travel. Iris's come in many colors. Each color symbolizes different feelings. White iris flowers symbolize purity and kindness. Yellow iris flowers symbolize passion, blue iris flowers symbolize faith and purple iris flowers are considered a sign of wisdom and royalty.

An alternate flower for February is the violet. It represents faithfulness, modesty and virtue. Violets represent faithfulness and 'I return your love'. As the legend of St. Valentine goes, this Christian priest used the ink made from crushed violet blossoms that grew outside his prison cell to write notes of love and friendship. He wrote these words on violet leaves. These notes were delivered to St. Valentine's friends via the elegant bird of love, the dove. Violets were once the most popular flower on Valentine's Day; however, roses are an enduring symbol of deep love.   It is thought that to dream of violets predicts advancement in life. 

The day is ending,

The night is descending;

The marsh is frozen,

The river dead.

Through clouds like ashes

The red sun flashes

On village windows

That glimmer red.

The snow recommences;

The buried fences

Mark no longer

The road o’er the plain;

While through the meadows,

Like fearful shadows,

Slowly passes

A funeral train.

The bell is pealing,

And every feeling

Within me responds

To the dismal knell;

Shadows are trailing,

My heart is bewailing

And tolling withinLike a funeral bell.

- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, Afternoon in February -

Tu B'Shevat February 7

The oaks and the pines, and their brethren of the wood, 

have seen so many suns rise and set, so many seasons come and go, 

and so many generations pass into silence, 

that we may well wonder what "the story of the trees" would be to us 

if they had tongues to tell it, or we ears fine enough to understand. 

-Author Unknown-

Tu B'Shevat is the beginning of a new year, not for people, but for trees.   The Tu B'Shevat seder is an old tradition. It is  the Jewish Arbor Day, the 'birthday of the trees'. Some Jews celebrate by planting trees or seeds. Others celebrate the holiday by purchasing trees to be planted in Israel.  A lovely Sephardic folktale relates that at midnight of Tu B'Shevat the trees stretch out their branches and embrace each other, wishing each other a good new year. 

Trees and plants were important in the ancient world. Trees furnished wood for construction of buildings, boats, furniture and smaller articles. Many trees provided nutritious and tasty fruit. Grains and vegetables were cultivated and wild plants were gathered. Other plants were used for food, medicinal purposes, herbs and spices, incense important for use in sacrifices, rope and cloth fibers. 

The Torah teaches one to respect the gifts of nature, including plant life and trees. The holiday is often celebrated by eating fruit, planting seeds and recognizing the importance of nature and the ecology. The traditional food for this  seder is historically vegetarian. One custom is to eat a new fruit on this day, or to eat from the Seven Species wheat, barley, grapes (vines), figs, pomegranates, olives, and honey.

The following story comes from the Talmud.

One day, Honi was walkingon the road and saw a man planting a carob tree. Honi asked the man, "How long will it take for this tree to bear fruit?"

The man replied, "Seventy years."

Honi then asked the man, "And do you think you will live another seventy
years and eat the fruit of this tree?”

The man answered, "Perhaps not. However, when I was born into this world,I found many carob trees planted by my father and grandfather. Just as they planted trees for me, I am planting trees for my children and grandchildren so they will be able to eat the fruit of these trees.”

"Well fine," said Honi, as he left. After walking for about an hour, Honi realized he was exhausted. He lay down for a nap on the dusty ground right next to a large rock. 

But his 'short nap' ended up lasting for 70 years! When he woke up, he was amazed to find himself beneath the towering branches of a fully grown carob tree. A middle-aged man was picking its fruit.  "Are you the man who planted this tree?" called Honi.

"No," he replied. "This tree was planted by my grandfather not long before he died, so that we today would have fruit and shade to enjoy."

Honi realized then that he must have slept for years and years. In his sleep, life had blossomed around him. And he finally came to understand how important it was to plant for the next generation.


Tu B'Shevat begins in the evening of Tuesday, February 7, 2012, and ends in the evening of Wednesday, February 8, 2012