Thursday Rants

Gosh, I'm at a loss today.  Imagine that. I've got a dozen things racing through my mind, but nothing really worth writing about. Guess I have Bloggers' block.  But since I am at a loss, it's a perfect day for a rant.  As a matter of fact, it's been quite awhile since I've a ranted, so I guess it is way overdue. Actually, there's a few things on my mind.
  
First on my list is technology.  I don't think I like the idea of a machine taking over what a person once did. Subway token clerks are being laid off all over the city, and the machine has taken their place.  Yeah, I know what you are thinking...just a short while ago I was complaining that these clerks make fabulous bucks for doing nothing.  Well, it wasn't always that way.  Time was when they had to earn their keep.  People didn't have the option of getting their subway fare from a machine; no they had to wait in line for the subway clerk...and he ACTUALLY had to handle money and hand you your fare.  I just don't trust those machines.  What if the last I have to my name is $20, and the darned machine eats it?  Who helps me to get it back?  There is no one around.

And while we are on the subject of token booth clerks, I cannot stand metrocards.  Give me the old token anyday.  Time was you were handed 10 coin-like tokens (from a real live token clerk) when you bought your weeks worth of subway fare.  Now it's a card you get (from a machine), and personally, I don't see where it is such an improvement.  Let's say you happen to lose that card, and take it from someone who has ridden the subway for almost 40 years, it's much easier to lose a card than it is to lose a handful of coins. Now, if you used a credit card in the machine, you can probably get your money back...after several months have gone by, but if not, and if you don't have the number code for the card, you might as well forget about it. You are not going to see that money again. 

And hey, how about books?  Will one day books be a thing of the past?  Used to be that everyone on the subway had a book or a newspaper to read on their trip to and from work.  Now they pull out these new-fangled gadgets to read.  Now, don't get me wrong.  I see nothing wrong with it for some people, but I happen to 'treasure' books.  Some people read just to read.  They finish their book and toss it away.  I highlight, jot notes in the margins, bend pages...and I NEVER or rarely part with a book.  Now, don't get me wrong. I've nothing against the gadgets....I just want the option to buy a book if I want one.  Just to show you, I was looking to order some books from Barnes & Noble and found one I really wanted.  You can imagine my disappointment when I found out it didn't come in book form. 

Next on my list is courtesy. Whatever happened to manners?  'Please', 'thank you'...antiquated words from a bygone era.  Rarely does anyone hold the door for you...and please don't get me started on the foul language.  My parents weren't often there for me, but what they didn't teach me, the teachers did.  And public transportation?  Heck, if one of us kids didn't volunteer our seat to an adult, the driver pulled to the side of the road, and we all got out of our seats. And you never saw parents pushing their children to grab the last seat on the bus.  No way, they were too busy teaching their kids respect. 

Once when I was in my 40's , I mentioned to a male friend what poor taste it was to see all the men sitting and not offer a woman a seat, and he replied, "Well, you ladies asked for this.  You wanted equality.  Blame this on women's lib."   Okay, I can understand that.  Equality is equality.  Right?  But how does that explain making an elderly person stand?  Or a pregnant woman for that matter?  Why does a 63 year old woman stand up to give up her seat to a disabled elderly man while the young healthy man seated next to her just watches and then goes back to fiddling with his phone.  Maybe it's just me, but I just don't understand it.

We should always treat others with  respect. It's really not hard to say please, thank you, and excuse me when necessary. Hold the door open if someone is right behind you. Heck, I even stand there and hold the door when people are about 10 feet away.  I figure it I close it, it will be slamming in their face by the time they get there...and some of those doors to go up to the subway are pretty darned heavy. Cut back on foul language, it's not that hard. Especially the kids.  In my day, we had our mouth washed out with soap if we used those words. These are all examples of simple manners. You don't have to go out of your way to do any of these things. It is just common courtesy. People get mad when others are rude to them, yet they can be just rude themselves. They just don't see it as such.

Sometimes the lack of manners makes me wonder if etiquette classes should be mandatory in schools. We didn't have a class on etiquette, but the school taught us manners back in the day. And gosh, it most certainly worked...because at 63, I still think I am pretty darned courteous...and it all stems from the learning I got when I was growing up. So, please, just remember to be courteous to those around you;  courtesy can be catchy.  

Wow, for someone with nothing to say, I sure had a lot to say.  Sorry about that.  Now it's your turn.  What irks you?

A Simple Hello

 "Scatter seeds of kindness everywhere you go;
Scatter bits of courtesy--------
watch them grow and grow.
Gather buds of friendship;
Keep them till full-blown;
You will find more happiness
than you have ever known.
-- Amy R Raabe--

 "Excuse me, could you help me, please?"  I asked, holding the wrinkled paper I had written the address on.  The woman walked right on by as if I was not even there.  "Sir, do you know where this street is?" He glanced quickly at the paper and shook his head 'no' as he continued on his way. It was all so quick that I know he hadn't really looked at the address.  By now I am starting getting anxious; I am running late for my appointment with the eye doctor.  I knew I should have left work earlier, but I thought I knew how to get there.  By now, tears are beginning to well in my eyes, and I am beginning to panic. I hate being late for anything...let alone an appointment I practically had to beg for.  It is about this time of year, every year, that my eyes develop and infection...why, I don't know, but it is so uncomfortable; I was desperate to get in, and the receptionist must have heard it in my voice, because she very kindly told me she would squeeze me in....'but make sure you are here on time."

It is so hot and humid. My hair is beginning to look as if I jumped out of the shower.  As red as my eyes were, they must be worse by now as the sweat rolls off my forehead and into my eyes.  By now I must have been some sight. Red-eyed, breathing heavily, losing all semblance of normalcy.  By now I was scaring the people away. I could just hear their thoughts, I wonder what she is on."  Time to calm down; time to get a grip.  So, I took a deep breath, forced a smile on my face, and said to the next gentlemen who I saw approaching, "Hello, I am trying to find this address, and I am hoping you can help me."  He smiled back, took the paper from my hands, and pointed me in the right direction.  Fortunately, I made my appointment in time, but it really made me think.  We're not very nice to each other sometimes.  I also had to think about how I was asking for these directions.  After all, it had been a dreadful day...unwittingly deleting a lot of my work which now has to be redone, and then I hopped on a subway filled with screaming kids from a summer camp. So what type of persona was I putting out there? It always takes two, you know.

Don't wait for people to be friendly, show them how.--Author Unknown

As a society, we have become so disconnected from wanting to engage with others.  Where has our kindness gone, our compassion? Are we forgetting how it is to relate to another? Each of us passes by many people during our daily journey through our lives. We are surrounded by people while we are shopping or when we are at work.  And when one must depend upon public transportation to get to and fro, one is surrounded by a myriad of different faces...and some of those faces we get to know because travel the same time with us, but their faces is all we get to know because, for the most part, we take no notice as we go about our day to day lives. They are just nameless faces, a blur in time.

Here in the city we are especially vulnerable; we seem to just weave in and out of each other's lives, barely making eye contact. The fact is, city people are just not used to it. I've lived in the country as well, and I can see the difference. Here in the city, we are always in such a hurry to get where we are going, that we have forgotten how to be friendly. We may glance at each other, but we don't really see.  Sometimes their gaze may even make us feel uncomfortable and without thinking, we get up and move to another car...when all they may have been wanting to offer was a friendly smile.

It is a simple Hello, and yet it can be the hardest word for some of us to say. Perhaps that is because we are afraid of each other. We've been taught since childhood, "Never talk to strangers."  But sadly, because of this, we miss out on so much for there are so many wonderful things can happen from a simple Hello. Who is to say that that person we showed kindness to may have been meant to be a special friend...or even a potential life partner.

So, when tomorrow rolls round, make it a to wave to a stranger and say hello to the person standing next to you. See where your positive energy takes you. See how good YOU begin to feel. And don't forget, it all begins with a simple smile


Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you - not because they are nice, but because you are.--Author Unknown

Nature, the Gentlest Mother

Let the rain kiss you.  Let the rain beat upon your head with silver liquid drops.  Let the rain sing you a lullaby. --Langston Hughes


I was preparing the dinner plates last night when I first heard it...that unmistakable rumble of thunder.  I stopped for a moment to listen. Could it be?  Yes, there it was. I heard it again;it wasn't my imagination.  I had actually heard the rumbling of thunder.  Now, you are probably saying, "Well, it is summer.  What does she expect?"  You're right.  Any other summer this would have been just like any other storm....but this was actually  the first thunder I had heard this entire summer.

It has been such a hot, dry summer.  I can only imagine how much worse it might have been if we had not had such a snowy winter and rainy spring. I'm sure we probably would have had drought conditions. I've missed the sound of the rain beating against my window, the sight of the sky lighting up in a show far more amazing than any of our man-made fireworks....I've missed those breathtaking views that ARE Mother Nature at her wildest. Now, the winds were beginning to pick up as I stopped what I was do to stand just inside of the back and watch, waiting for the rain to become a downpour, but, alas, it never did....never more than a trickle.  My cat, who after 19 years of storms, remains fearful of the thunder...and hightailed it under the bed where she will stay until it is over.  I feel bad for her, but there is not much I can do.  This is out of my hands.  This is Mother Nature's way.  Her power and energy amazes me.

A deep rumble now...and suddenly I am reminded that I am not truly safe from it for it could turn on me in a second...I am not afraid,  but this storm has brought back one of my more pleasant memories of my childhood. I remember it clearly.  I was playing on the living room floor with my paper dolls, and mom was puttering about the house...one of the very few evenings that she stayed home.  Suddenly, a storm blew up from seemingly nowhere; the winds were howling, the rain was coming down in torrents, and the sky was lighting up in quite a majestic show.  All was okay until I saw the bolt of lightning come into the window and strike our lamp.  Mom quickly snatched me up, and we raced out to the car; we drove around for what seemed like hours because mom said that 'the safest place to be is in a moving car.'  It has something to do with the rubber tires. 

That night was one of the few times that I can ever remember feeling really close to and comforted by my mother.  I will  treasure that memory forever...for on that one special night, during that one special storm, mom let her guard down and became a mother.

Yes, we were mother and daughter on that night...that night so long, long ago...Mothers love their children, and children love their mothers, but sometimes we just don't know how to show it. Sometimes we need that little push to show that we truly do care for each other. That was Mother Nature's special gift to me...a sense of comfort and a feeling of overwhelming joy for a lonely child who had never felt she was loved....a lifetime memory...a memory of love...from Mother Nature, the gentlest of all mothers.

Nature, the Gentlest Mother

                   Nature, the gentlest mother,

Impatient of no child,
The feeblest or the waywardest, --
Her admonition mild

In forest and the hill
By traveller is heard,
Restraining rampant squirrel
Or too impetuous bird.

How fair her conversation,
A summer afternoon, --
Her household, her assembly;
And when the sun goes down

Her voice among the aisles
Incites the timid prayer
Of the minutest cricket,
The most unworthy flower.

When all the children sleep
She turns as long away
As will suffice to light her lamps;
Then, bending from the sky

With infinite affection
And infiniter care,
Her golden finger on her lip,
Wills silence everywhere.

--Emily Dickenson --

What was one gift of Mother Nature that will follow you through your lifetime?

Footprints

“Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some people move our souls to dance. They awaken us to a new understanding with the passing whisper of their wisdom. Some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon. They stay in our lives for awhile, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never, ever the same.” --Flavia Weedn

What a beautiful quote!  Tears always well in my eyes when  read it. At 63, so many people have entered my life, and so many have passed on through. Have you ever really stopped to think about all those people who have come and gone in your life?   And wondered why they had come and how they affected your life? Or how they may have changed the outcome of who you have become?  All of the people that we cross paths with, whether to remain our friends for years to come, or in one day and gone the next, each has type of effect on us in one way or another.

They can be people who we know for years--parents, husbands-- they can be someone we see only once who has made an impression on us such as a handicapped child who happens on our path when we are having a bad day.  Suddenly, our day doesn't seem so bad anymore.  Most people have a purpose for being in our lives while others are just like scenery in the background...sort of like the extras on a movie set. Some may come into our lives to specifically cause trouble or pain while others come to meet our physical and spiritual needs.  Some are here to teach us a lesson; others to teach us how to love.  

Sometimes we may want to hold onto people, we don't want to let them go, but they are meant to pass through our lives.  A little girl named Kathleen was my first friend; we grew up next door to each other, and from the age of five, we were always together...that is, until we reached our teenage years when her family moved away.  We tried for awhile to stay in contact with each other, but we were headed down two separate paths.  She taught me what true friendship really is, and when I sit here and think about it, she's the only true friend I ever really had. It's been about 50 years since we last spoke, but her footprints remain in my heart.


Elizabeth, my dear online friend, came into my life and left oh, so quickly, but before her passing, she awakened me to her wisdom, a wise woman who touched many hearts and left a lasting legacy.  Pets, too, can leave a mark on us.  My first dog, Susie, was hit by an oil truck.  I remember clearly coming home from school and finding out she was having surgery.  They had to cut off one of her back legs, but my goodness, how she survived.  I can close my eyes and see my little princess running about just as a normal dog.  Her lesson to me was that, no matter handicapped you may be, you can accomplish anything if you only set your mind to it.

Learn to appreciate others. If someone loves you, make sure to love them back. Take note of when someone does something nice for you. If your spouse or a co-worker does a task that's normally yours, stop and thank them sincerely. Cherish the moment, the time you have together for you have no idea how long it will be. And look for other opportunities to find the good in others for even those who cause us anguish, are here to teach us the lessons we need to learn. This will help you appreciate the people around you, who are also part of your life.

We laughed

until we had to cry.

We gave love,

right down to our last goodbye.

We were the best

we thought we'd ever be

Just you and me,

for just a moment... 

--Unknown--

The Miracles of Summer

"As for me, I know nothing else but miracles,  
Whether I walk the streets of Manhattan,
Or dart my sight over the roofs of houses toward the sky,
Or wade with naked feet along the beach just in the edge of the water,
Or stand under the trees in the woods,
Or talk by day with any one I love,
Or sleep in bed at night with any one I love,
Or watch honey bees busy around the hive of a summer forenoon...
Or the wonderfulness of the sundown,
Or of stars shining so quiet and bright,
Or the exquisite delicate thin curve of the new moon in spring...
What stranger miracles are there?"
  --Walt Whitman-- 

I happened across the above poem yesterday, and it certainly hit home. Here we are already halfway through August; summer is almost gone...and I've done nothing to enjoy it.  Granted, it hasn't been the easiest of summers to deal with.  I cannot recalling a summer that was this hot and humid.  It was dreadful enough just trying to make it back and forth to work...let alone spend any unnecessary time out there...and because of this, I've missed out on so much.

As I read this poem, I was reminded that I've not seen a honey bee this year, nor have I enjoyed the brilliant flashes of the lightning bugs. Even at night it has been too hot; there's been barely a breeze to sweep the hot, humid air away. Throughout the summer, I've been in such a hurry to escape the heat that I have not taken the time to look around at all the beautiful flowers, trees, grass, and the sky above...sitting outdoors and watching as the sun goes down, the locusts whispering in the trees, (yes, I have them here.), and the joyful chirping of the birds awakening me from my nightly sleep.  These are some of the things I have missed out on this summer...the miracles of life, of nature. 

Alas, it is still not too late.  There is still time to enjoy, to savor...time to give thanks for the gifts of nature.   The miracles of summer are all around. It's time to stop, look, and listen...life is far to short to allow even one season pass by without noticing it.

"To see the Summer Sky
Is Poetry, though never in a Book it lie  - 
True Poems flee" --Emily Dickenson--

Being Thankful

Be thankful that you don't already have everything you desire,
If you did, what would there be to look forward to?

Think back to when you were a child...those anxious, impatient days leading up to Christmas.  Remember how you felt? Remember how the time leading up to the big day felt like an eternity?  And then the big day came...and there was the hasty opening of the gifts.  Paper flying everywhere.  Oh, what joy!!!  And then the magical day was over, and when we went to bed, our thoughts now turned to our birthday or to our mid-winter vacation at school.  The point being, when we were children, we always found something to look forward to.

We may say that we 'wish' we could have everything that we wanted, but ff we had everything we wanted, what would be left for us to wish for?  The magic would be gone.  Besides, it's not really true that those who have everything are happy; in fact, it is just the opposite.  What's the old saying?...The more you have, the more you want?"  Greed begets greed, and suddenly you find you can never have enough. The magic of anticipation disappears, and in its place a deep-rooted unhappiness begins to set in as you become a person driven by desire alone.

Be thankful when you don't know something
For it gives you the opportunity to learn.

You are never too old too learn.  Not too long ago, a woman in her 80's graduated from college with her master's degree. I was in my 40's when I changed careers, and worked towards my degree in my 50's.  I love learning and am always looking for something new.  A prime example was just the other day when I first learned of Shadow People.  Immediately, I set a course to learn all I could about these mysterious beings.  Every day we run into something new...a new recipe, a new hobby, etc.  Our friends and acquaintances may say something setting off our desire to know more.  Learning is what keeps us alive. Our ancestors learned to make and use fire, to hunt and farm.  We live because of what they learned. 
  

Be thankful for the difficult times.
During those times you grow.

We all know the old saying, Without darkness, there would be no light.  How true is that!  The other day, in my Huna studies, I read another one....If everything in the world was the same color, and there was only one sound in the world, we would not be able to see or hear.  Profound, but oh so true. Life on a silver platter offers us nothing.  It is those times of struggle that teaches us to appreciate...to appreciate what we have, however little it may be, to appreciate family, to appreciate life.    

Be thankful for your limitations
Because they give you opportunities for improvement.

I'm not going to lie...this isn't an easy one for me...only because it is hard for me to take criticism. I am Superwoman who has no limits. I'm so darned independent; I like to think I can do it all..so asking for help is hard for me to do.  But then, it becomes a vicious cycle of...going ahead and doing it on my own and then facing criticism when it is not done properly...and then the "Why didn't you ask?"  I basically grew up taking care of myself, so asking for help was something I never really learned how to do. I am getting better though; it is hard breaking a habit which took a lifetime to build.

 Be thankful for each new challenge

Because it will build your strength and character.

It's the hard things in life which teach us the lesson of gratitude. We all have to go through personal challenges from time to time. There is no exception to this rule.  It is how we react to these challenges that has a lot to say about our character and whether or not we have what it takes to persevere and ride out the storm. And the more challenged we are in life, the more we get to learn about ourselves for if we never had to face a challenge, we would never know just where we need to make improvements, and this helps to build our character.  

Be thankful for your mistakes
They will teach you valuable lessons.

Gosh, mistakes, I wouldn't know where to begin.  I've made so many in my life...some of which I will never have the opportunity to make amends for. But I have learned that sitting around and dwelling on what "I should have or could have" done leaves no room for one to heal.  Healing begins with accepting that we have made a mistake and using that mistake as a means of growth for it is only through our mistakes that we grow.  

   Be thankful when you're tired and weary
Because it means you've made a difference.

How many nights to I come home from work...physically drained...just wanting to fall into bed and forget about it all.  I want to quit my job and forget about it all, but then I remember the success stories...however few they may be...and suddenly it becomes all worth it.  No matter what, I do know that everyday I am making some kind of difference in someone's life...even just by showing them that there is someone who cares, someone who will listen.  We all make a difference in someone's life...the neighbor across the street whose day we brighten when we offer a cheerful good morning; the store clerk whose day is brightened by our smile...no matter how long we wait in line; our children and families who know that we love them, and that love makes a difference in their lives.  Yes, when we fall into bed, tired and weary, know that you have made a difference in someone's life.

It is easy to be thankful for the good things.
A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are
also thankful for the setbacks.

Gratitude can turn a negative into a positive.
Find a way to be thankful for your troubles
and they can become your blessing.

Remembering to Be Grateful

Would you believe it is after 11 am, and I just woke up?  That's how burned out I am at this point.  I realized it has been over a month since I used a burnout day, and believe me, today's was much needed.  Yesterday, two of our ladies got into a fistfight because one claimed the other stole her wallet.  Well, ya know what?  She did, but I'm getting far too old for the screaming and these physical altercations.  Not that I was physically in the fight, but try calming down two ex 'ladies of the street' who are hell bent on kicking the sh.. out of each other.  Oh, well, all was not so bad yesterday...
 

For each new morning with its light,
For rest and shelter of the night,
For health and food, for love and friends,
For everything Thy goodness sends.

 --Ralph Waldo Emerson--

...for yesterday was hubby's birthday. He was 56, a few years younger than I.  His birthday is always such a special day for us because there was a time that we didn't think he'd live to see another. It is hard to believe that it has been almost twenty years since he lay in that hospital bed, wasting away....so close to death....and as I remember clearly how I stood there, watching as his body withered away, wondering why.  Why was this happening to us?  We'd had so little time together, and after so many different painful, destructive, and unhappy relationships, I wondered what we had done to deserve this.  Oh, I know, the rational part of me said that bad things happen to good people all the time; that I was not being 'picked on'. Pain and sorrow are a part of this world...they help us to grow. But, alas, I wasn't ready.


Everyone except his mother and the sister I get along with told me that I had to accept and to let him go, that I was in denial...and perhaps I might need some counseling,...but something within, that inner voice deep within was telling me, "No, it is not his time.  You cannot not let him go."  It was then that I decided that I was going to fight back; I wasn't going to let him go, that there WAS hope... and that hope that birthed itself within me, radiated from my body and instilled a new desire for life into him.  I will never forget the day that I raced into the room, out of breath because I ran to the hospital, anxious to spend my time with him...every moment was so precious.  And, when I stepped into the room, there he was sitting up, looking stronger than he had in days.  "I ate today," he said, and I began to cry because only a few days before I had never thought he would eat again...and we were both so grateful that we cried together.

While there’s life, there’s hope.

--Marcus Tullius Cicero--

Hope and gratitude...two magnificent feelings that have become illusive to many people. It is always the simple things in life that so difficult for us to do?  I mean the small things, like….. being grateful. Is it because it may not really be so simple?  I'm sure that, like me, when you were young, you heard your parents say, "be grateful for what you have. There are those in this world that would do anything who are going to bed hungry tonight."  And as small children, that was something beyond our understanding for at that time in our lives, our whole world revolved around us. But, the truth be told, being grateful is not so easy. Why? Maybe because it requires us to be happy with what we have been given rather than what we wanted.

When you wake up and see the rays of the morning sun beaming through your window, how do you feel?  Do you feel grateful for another day, or do you instead focus on the multitude of things you have to accomplish before the sun slips away? It is so easy to forget all we have to be thankful for when life becomes hectic and chaotic.   We forget that many of the simple things in life can be reasons for being grateful--our health, family, friends, our livelihood. These are often the things that we tend to take for granted...that is, until they are brought to our attention or taken away.

Remembering to be grateful daily for one's health, family, friends, a job during a recession, having a roof over one's head and food on the table is a good way to start living with gratitude. I've learned a lot over these years in dealing with hubby's illness. Yes, hubby and I still live with the threat of a terminal illness hanging over our heads, and each time I see him 'under the weather' my heart begins to sink, but these years have been a gift, a blessing...something that I will forever cherish.  

Outside, the rain sometimes comes down so hard, we have to talk louder, and it feels like a miracle that the roof holds.  It makes for a coziness and a gratefulness, too, that you have the choice to not be out in it.  You can sit at the table and look out the window and not have to feel what you see.--Elizabeth Berg

What are you grateful for today?