A Few Updates

You may be wondering what's been happening with my niece.  The answer is nothing.  The saga continues.  My son's death certificate did not arrive until early July,  immediately did all the paperwork and sent it off to Surrogate Court, but now the problem is the courts have been closed here in NYC so everything is taking forever.  As I sit here typing this post, I still have no control over my son's estate, and by now we know my niece has totally stolen all his money from his accounts. She is sitting pretty smug right now thinking she got away with it, but little does she know what is in store for her.  What she has done, the things she has said, are unforgiveable, and I will prosecute her to the fullest.  She WILL NOT walk away from this unscathed.  

The other night in my grief class we were discussing forgiveness and handling our loved ones belongings.    I HAVE NONE OF MY loved ones belongings, and I probably never will. I cannot believe that, as a mother,  I have no rights and by the time I do become his administrator, his belongings will surely have been tossed. It makes me so angry.  

The storm is long gone but has left its mess behind. Trees down all over the place. And just wait until the guys next door come to work. Boy, are they in for a surprise. I'm glad we didn't lose power yesterday. A few times the lights flickered and I thought 'here we go' but fortunately we never lost power.

And the walls came tumbling down.  From yesterday's storm.

We have not yet had Christmas with the family.  I fear my great grands will be too old for the gifts I have for them by the time we get together.   First I got sick at Christmas (not with the virus), then my great grand got very sick, then my granddaughter had her stroke, my daughter got Covid, then my two grands who are nurses had to work extra hours, and finally Covid put us all on shelter in place.  On a positive side, it looks as if I am not going to have to spend  much on Christmas this year.

On another note, I have continued getting my little subscription boxes.  I got the following one from Inked Goddess Creations a month or so ago. 

Celtic Knot Aromatherapy Necklace.  
 

Celtic Tree Box.  Inside was a mini cedar bundle.
 

This was the entire box.  The candle is a blend of lavendar, oak moss, and black pepper.  I used it already.  Smelled wonderful.  May be ordering more if she has them.

Wooden tile.

Celtic Blessings Oil for use in necklace. 
 

I love this beautiful cloth. 

Also included was three expansion card about Celtic Knots, the Celtic Tree of Life, Cedar, Celtic Goddesses, and Celtic Gods. 

There have been a few other boxes that I will share with you.  They bring me a little joy each month.

Tuesday News

Good morning.  It's humid and hot here...and pretty calm...for now.  Tropical Storm Isiais is heading here later this afternoon.  Lots of rain and heavy winds are on the way. Also just heard there is a tornado watch until 4 pm. Going to be a rough day for sure. The poor restaurants that are already cash strapped have to bring in all the tables, chairs, and umbrellas set up for outdoor dining.  I'm hoping they have buckled things down next door.  Last time we had a big storm there was quite a mess. I always worry that something might blow right into our bedroom window since it is so close, but hubby says that can't happen.  I always tell him, "Don't be so sure about that."

So yesterday there were two surgeries I was concerned about.   My daughter had her bariatric surgery and all went well.  And my friend, Jack, from the center had cancer removed, and according to his wife, the doctor feels he got it all. Such good news.  Turned out to be a good day after all.

Had to do our monthly banking yesterday. What a fiasco that was. I thought we were going have to stand outdoors in the hot sun waiting for the outside window, but now they allow you in the lobby.  I was so happy to see that, but first you have to send them a text with your name and then wait in the outer lobby or your car until they call your name. Well, as I'm waiting I happened to notice that people came in after Ralph and were being taken in first. Seems he did it wrong. Some kind lady who heard her name sent the manager out to help us. She had no idea where he had  texted his name to. Grrr!!! What could have been one, two, three had turned into almost a half hour.

One of the meals I received had just plain brown rice.  I took the rice and some of the veggies that weren't to soggy, peppers, and onions and stir fried in a pan with a little low sodium soy sauce.  Tasted just like Chinese fried rice...aside from having no egg in it.

My 7th great granddaughter.  How big she is getting!

My three other female great grands. All had a birthday in June so it was celebrated together. I have to get a good updated photo of the three boys.

Monday Ramble

Living here in New York is quite expensive, but I'd be lost living anywhere else. I don't drive and hate having to depend on others. Always been independent.  I love being able to hop on the bus that stops right in front of my building and go wherever I want, and as you may remember, I was on the go every day.  I haven't been on a bus since shelter in place started in mid-March and have to depend on hubby to take me wherever I want to go.  Imagine that.  Buses are free now, and I can't ride them.  

While on my morning walks, I've seen the buses go past, and they are packed like sardines.  Not for me.  Not with Covid.   Besides, right now there is no place to go, so all we do is our monthly banking together, our weekly shopping, and our Sunday afternoons by the water.   If I had to say something positive about Covid, I will say that one thing it has done was bring us closer together. It seems we were both living separate lives before.

Before Covid hit, things were pretty good here financially.  I had my Social Security and small pension.  He had his Social Security and small pension and was driving a cab at night.  Each week he would give me a hundred or more towards food shopping and spending for me...that along with the $800 he gave me out of his monthly benefits to help pay for the bills.  Then, abruptly that all stopped with Covid.  Oh, he could have driven, yes, but with his health condition it was not worth taking the chance so we made do with less money each month.  Fortunately for me, the center always made sure I had food and for that I will be forever grateful.

Some of the frozen dinners.  They aren't the best and leave a lot to be desired, but I'm not going to complain.  In fact, they bring me so many that I take some next door to the young couple who haven't really been working since Covid.  They do deliveries here and there, and I know they could sure use the food. And what they can't use, they deliver to the homeless.  So nothing goes to waste.

I mostly get chicken and pasta dishes, and they are all so bland.  I've been taking the chicken and re-cooking, adding my own seasonings.  Last week I made the chicken with piri piri spices.  It was nice and spicy and tasteful. Yesterday I took a couple thighs and cooked them  with barbecue sauce.  I use soy sauce with the rice to give it a flavor.  

The pasta I haven't quite figured out yet.  They serve everything with mixed veggies.  I understand they have to give us veggies, but in baked ziti?  Somehow that doesn't seem right.  Oh well, it's not real baked ziti to begin with. But as I said, I am so, so grateful to have this food. They have been so good to us seniors.

The other day I had the urge for hot dogs and saurkraut.  I can't remember the last time I had one.  They are so high in sodium I try to avoid them, but every so oven I crave one.  So, what to do with the extra saurkraut?  I took s the chicken strips from one of the dinners, cut them up, stir fried with carrots and onions, and then added the saurkraut.  Delicious.

Sunday's dinner.  I took 3 of the chicken thigh dinners and re-cooked, this time with barbecue sauce.  Took the rice and mixed veggies and stir fried them together as a side dish.  Turned out awesome.

Along with frozen dinners, they also send these boxes on occasion.  These are basically breakfast and lunch items--waffles, yogurt, chicken sandwiches, apples, breakfast bars, etc.  I look forward to these packages.  I am so blessed. 

Hubby has started back to work, but not like it was before so money is still tight here...and food prices are rising so much.  He put one of those plastic separators in his car and is only doing vouchers for a dialysis program, meaning he takes the clients home after dialysis.  Much safer than regular cab work as  these patients are well taken care of.  He was starting to get very depressed before this so I am glad he has something to do....although I do worry all the time.  He manages to give me about $40 a week to help with the food, but even he is shocked when they ring up our items each week.  Like last week, no meats, no frozen veggies--only corn flakes, half a pound of ham, bread, some watermelon, salad,  3 avocados, yogurt, chocolate milk, a chocolate cake for him, some canned beans, dish detergent,  and a few other items.  $62.  Unbelievable. How much higher can they go?

Wanted some strawberries yesterday, but they were $5.99 a small basket.  What's up with that?  Thought it was their season, but maybe I am wrong.  So I settled on a small box of raspberries and a box of blueberries.  I munch on blueberries every night before bed as they are good for the blood pressure.  

Coloring and Classics

One day I found an ad on my FB page, and it looked pretty interesting.  Since 'shelter in place' I only get out to my once a week Sunday afternoon by the water or to run necessary errands.  Even without the loss of my son, this self-imposed staying in has been hard on me.  I'm one who was out the door and on the bus heading some place every day, and now I haven't been on a bus since March 16th.  I'm fortunate that I'm fairly tech savvy so I have been able to see some of my peers from the center in the Zoom classes I take, but I still feel that loss of human companionship and comfort.  

Keeping myself busy has helped, but the problem is, I have been wanting to do the things that I used to enjoy--jewelry making, reading, painting.  So, when I found an ad for Coloring and Classics that day I decided why not try it.  It's only $19.99.  No great expense, and if I didn't like it I could always cancel, so I went ahead an ordered. 

Good move on my part. I cannot begin to tell you how much it has helped me. It's opened me up to adult coloring which I am thoroughly enjoying.  I even sent for a couple of books from Amazon, some colorful gel pens, and have been coloring pictures for my great grands which I plan to frame and wrap for Christmas.  Will show you sometime this week what I have done so far.  

But even better is what the puzzle books have been doing for my mind.  So far I have received crossword puzzles and  word search and am actually feeling a difference in my thought process.  I'm not forgetting words as much as I used to and my spelling is getting better.  It was worrying me that I was once the best speller at my job and now simple words were beyond my reach.  I wasn't exercising my mind when I was retired. 

This is the package I received yesterday.

Each month I receive a puzzle book, a coloring book, a novel, and a lollipop.  They have several different genre of novels you can chose, and my choice was fantasy. 

'Sisters of the Wood' looks like a great choice, and I may even get into reading again.  Actually read a couple of chapters yesterday.

Interesting choice of coloring book this month.  It actually opens up into a long fold out to color.  It was far to long to get the entire thing, but the photo below gives you an idea.

 

Lammas Greetings

I can't believe it is August 1st already. Lammas.  Lughnasadh.   The first harvest.  Super Fresh has blueberries on sale for $1.99. and I can't wait for tomorrow to get some.  This hasn't been a summer I care to remember, and to be honest, coming into the cooler weather kind of scares me.  We've been doing pretty good here with Covid despite all the protestors and young adults who insist on partying in the street without masks and with no social distancing.  I fear as the cooler weather sets in we might have a revival of the virus and that scares the heck out of me.  

I'm tired.  So tired of this new norm.  I want to be able to get up in the mornings and no I have a place to go.  I forgot what it's like to ride a bus.  Don't even know how much I have on my fare card.  It's been so long.  March 16th to be exact.  That's when they closed the center and everything else.  Shelter at home took effect and hubby and I took it seriously.  

These months have been a nightmare in so many ways.  The loss of my son in April, the problems with my niece, social isolation, depression.  We still haven't had the memorial for my son. The cemetery said that late August early September would be the best time for the service.  So I still haven't had that closure.  I still cry every day and miss him so much.  Just knowing he won't be with us for the holidays breaks my heart.  I loved him so and still do.  I talk to him all the time and set up this memorial for him.  I know he is with me.

He is surrounded by family, Mother Mary, and the Angels.  

I've said it many times.  I am so indebted to the center for getting me through this.  Food, online classes with peers, a grief counselor, all their phone calls making sure I am okay.  They were just what I needed.  

So, at this time of the first harvest, Lammas, a wondrous time of gratitude, I find myself overwhelmed with all the blessings that have been bestowed on me.  On April 7th, 2020 my world felt like it was ending, but through the loving kindness of others, of family, of online friends, my husband, I do have things to be grateful for.  My life has been blessed.

 

More Catch Up News

I had to get rid of that new Blogger.  I'm not too good with change, and I found it very difficult to understand.  In fact, yesterday I had so much trouble I wondered if I should give up, but glad I didn't and glad I found the way to revert to the old....although they say at some point in the future we will all have the new Blogger.

In early June, my  son was advised he had to move by July 1st.  He'd lived in that apartment for 7 years and never missed a month's rent, but the owner's son was losing his apartment and needed a place to go...so Jerry and his girlfriend get booted.  This after he worked on his hands and knees pulling staples from the floor after the fire in his building.  And right in the middle of a pandemic when he and his girlfriend are out of work. Right now they are out in PA with my daughter, but have recently found a place on the same block where they were living so soon they will be moving back to the city.  There is a vacant apartment across the hall from me, but they love that area where they lived.  As much as I'd love having them so close to me, perhaps being so close to each other all the time would not be a good thing.  That's how I choose to look at it so I am not disappointed.

My daughter is scheduled for bariatric surgery on August 3rd.  Of course, I am a wreck and praying that all goes well for her. I'm not so sure how I feel about that.  Any surgery can be dangerous and although many have wonderful results, others have long-term issues.  I remember a co-worker who had it and said it was the biggest mistake she ever made.  She couldn't eat anything other than soup without getting sick and vomiting.  My daughter has made up her mind so all I can do is pray. 

Remember how I used to take meditation and get Reiki at the center?  Well, we got notice that our dear, sweet teacher passed away suddenly.  We don't know what happened, but it was devastating news.  The center will be having an online memorial for her on the 19th. She was such a great meditation facilitator and powerful Reiki healer.  I remember how amazed I was the first time she performed it on me and the hair on my head raised up to meet her hands.  May she RIP.

My friend, Marie, fell and broke her hip.  She had surgery and is now in a rehab center.  She has retreated from the world, wants no part of her old friends.  She is too tired to talk. I wanted to send her some flowers but as per her niece, she is just too tired to take care of them.  I suggested sending some fruit, but that was out as well since they won't let on where she is.  I had figured that if I sent flowers they would have to tell me.  I fear now that Marie may be one I never get to say good bye to as well.  It scares me when I think of how many I may never see again once the center reopens.  There haven't been any Covid deaths among members that I know of, but many were up in years and many may be afraid to come back again.

Mother's Day was so bittersweet this year, but this gift from my son won my heart.  I shall treasure it forever.

Checking In

Wow, it took me forever to get here.  So many changes in Blogger since I've been gone.  Didn't realize it's been over two months. I've not been suffering from a major depression, but have been moderately depressed.  According to my grief counselor who tested me at our first session, I have shown improvement. In fact, I have gone from a 15 score to an 8, whatever that means.  I do know that I haven't had much interest in many of the things I enjoy such as reading, jewelry making, and even posting on this blog.  But she never asks me about those things so I don't know how she comes up with her scores.  I know she does count my sleep problems, but that has gone on for years, long before my son passed, and lately a lot of my issues have been because of pain.  The arthritis has spread to my hips so finding comfortable sleeping positions is a problem.  I find that I don't look forward to our weekly sessions, and she is on vacation this week, so I am thrilled I don't have a session.  My friend feels I may be trying to avoid dealing with the dark feelings and emotions so I dread meeting with her each week.  Who knows?

It also doesn't help matters to have a computer that is constantly crashing.  I am in desperate need of a new one.

I do still attend my classes on Zoom that the center offers.  Have also completed the 10 week Aging Mastery course and am now waiting on my certificate.  I'm also attending weekly Zoom concerts.  Today it was songs from some of the greatest Broadway plays.  I've also enrolled in a 6 week Grief course--'Grieving Well in a World of Loss."  We are working with Elizabeth Kubler Ross's book about the 5 stages of grief.  Each week we have reading assignments, a Wednesday night Zoom meeting, activities, and journal writing.  There are 7 of us in the class, and I've met women from around the world. Several other new courses are coming up in August.

And I do have some things that I find some enjoyment in.  I've taken up adult coloring and have been coloring some fairies and owls for my great grands.  I also joined a monthly subscription club called Coloring and Classics, and for $19 a month they send me a coloring book, a puzzle book of some kind, a fantasy fiction novel (my choice of genre) and a lollipop.  That's how I got into coloring and now into crossword puzzles and I do find they are helping my spelling a lot.  Haven't started the novels yet because I'm not into reading.  No, that's not quite true.  I can't concentrate or get into what I am reading.  Three pages and I put the book down because it's boring....but it's really not.  It's me.   

One problem I've had was getting out.  I was staying in for days on end, even ordering my groceries online.  Then rent time came and I had to get out to the bank.  Hubby, of course. drove me and from there we started our Sunday drives.  Hubby encouraged me to get out for a walk every day as I've not only been putting on weight, but I'm also not able to walk a great distance without getting tired and out of breath.  Too much sitting around.  So now ever morning I go out early, before breakfast, and walk up and down the block.  The heat has been dreadful lately so I've not been getting much walking in.  I go to the corner and back.  I also rejoined WW, but that's something else that holds no interest for me.  

Each Sunday afternoon now  hubby and I take a ride out to the Verrazano, find an empty bench, and spend our afternoon looking out over the water.

 I find so much peace there. 

I have so much more to tell, but that will wait for another day.  Don't want to overwhelm everyone.  So glad to be back amongst friends.