Remembering. America Will Not Forget

I remember that day as clearly as if it had happened yesterday.  It began as a morning just like any other morning, a beautiful September morn. When the planes struck, I was working in a halfway house on the Bowery. We were not very far from the site. Our 46 clients were preparing for their morning meeting, and I was in my office enjoying a few moments of solitude before the day began.  Then, one of the  clients came running in asking to use the phone.  She said she'd heard that a small plane had hit the World Trade Center, and she was worried because her mother worked there. And just as she picked up the phone,  another client burst into the office screaming that we should come and watch the news. Suddenly, it wasn't just another morning like any other. Our world had been changed forever. 

I found the following beautiful prayer from "Prayers for Healing". I wanted to share it with you.

May our eyes remain open even in the face of tragedy.

May we not become disheartened.

May we discover the gift of the fire burning in the inner chamber of our being –burning great and bright enough to transform any poison.

May we offer the power of our sorrow to the service of something greater than ourselves.

May our guilt not rise up to form yet another defensive wall.

May the suffering purify and not paralyze us.

May we realize the greatness of our sorrow and not run from its touch or flame.

May clarity be our ally and wisdom our support.

May our wrath be cleansing, cutting through the confusion of denial and greed.

May we not be afraid to see or speak our truth.

May the soul’s journey be revealed and the true hunger fed.

May we be forgiven for what we have forgotten

and blessed with the remembrance of who we really are.

Eagle Woman
The Terma Collective

May our eyes remain open even in the face of tragedy.
May we not become disheartened.
May we find in the dissolution
of our apathy and denial,
a cup of the broken heart.
May we discover the gift of the fire burning
in the inner chamber of our being–
burning great and bright enough
to transform any poison.
May we offer the power of our sorrow to the service
of something greater than ourselves.
May our guilt not rise up to form
yet another defensive wall.
May the suffering purify and not paralyze us.
May we endure; may sorrow bond us and not separate us.
May we realize the greatness of our sorrow
and not run from its touch or its flame.
May clarity be our ally and wisdom our support.
May our wrath be cleansing, cutting through
the confusion of denial and greed.
May we not be afraid to see or speak our truth.
May the bleakness of the wasteland be dispelled.
May the soul’s journey be revealed
and the true hunger fed.
May we be forgiven for what we have forgotten
and blessed with the remembrance
of who we really are.

The Terma Collective

    
- See more at: http://heartsteps.org/tag/terma-collective/#sthash.M7O4FAIs.dpuf

May our eyes remain open even in the face of tragedy.
May we not become disheartened.
May we find in the dissolution
of our apathy and denial,
a cup of the broken heart.
May we discover the gift of the fire burning
in the inner chamber of our being–
burning great and bright enough
to transform any poison.
May we offer the power of our sorrow to the service
of something greater than ourselves.
May our guilt not rise up to form
yet another defensive wall.
May the suffering purify and not paralyze us.
May we endure; may sorrow bond us and not separate us.
May we realize the greatness of our sorrow
and not run from its touch or its flame.
May clarity be our ally and wisdom our support.
May our wrath be cleansing, cutting through
the confusion of denial and greed.
May we not be afraid to see or speak our truth.
May the bleakness of the wasteland be dispelled.
May the soul’s journey be revealed
and the true hunger fed.
May we be forgiven for what we have forgotten
and blessed with the remembrance
of who we really are.

The Terma Collective

- See more at: http://heartsteps.org/tag/terma-collective/#sthash.M7O4FAIs.dpuf

May our eyes remain open even in the face of tragedy.
May we not become disheartened.
May we find in the dissolution
of our apathy and denial,
a cup of the broken heart.
May we discover the gift of the fire burning
in the inner chamber of our being–
burning great and bright enough
to transform any poison.
May we offer the power of our sorrow to the service
of something greater than ourselves.
May our guilt not rise up to form
yet another defensive wall.
May the suffering purify and not paralyze us.
May we endure; may sorrow bond us and not separate us.
May we realize the greatness of our sorrow
and not run from its touch or its flame.
May clarity be our ally and wisdom our support.
May our wrath be cleansing, cutting through
the confusion of denial and greed.
May we not be afraid to see or speak our truth.
May the bleakness of the wasteland be dispelled.
May the soul’s journey be revealed
and the true hunger fed.
May we be forgiven for what we have forgotten
and blessed with the remembrance
of who we really are.

The Terma Collective

- See more at: http://heartsteps.org/tag/terma-collective/#sthash.M7O4FAIs.dpuf

Photo Day

"In the garden, Autumn is, indeed the crowning glory of the year, bringing us the fruition of months of thought and care and toil.
And at no season, safe perhaps in Daffodil time, do we get such superb colour effects as from August to November."

Rose G. Kingsley

Gosh, here we are in September  already.  New York City's children headed back to school yesterday, and the bus wasn't as crowded as I thought it would be.  For me, this time of the year always brings back some wonderful memories. When I was little, I loved  the first day of school, and yesterday as I watched the excitement of the children on the bus, I had to smile as memories  came flooding back. As I listened to the  the squeals of joy and laughter on the bus, I realized that there are some things in this world that haven't changed, and the thrill of the first day of school and seeing one's friends is one of them. 

On a sad note, for me, at least, the summer fruits are spreading thin now, and apples of all shapes and sizes, pears, oranges, and clementines have taken their place. I don't care for winter fruits. Last winter I lived on clementines and grapes.  This year I plan to freeze some of my favorite berries and have been spending some time looking up some recipes in my harvest cookbook,but I'd best hurry.  Boxes of strawberries were vanishing from the shelves.

I purchased the above candles--Honey Pumpkin Pie, Caramel Apple Chestnut, and Cinnamon Glazed Pear--to tide me over until my order from Yankee Candle comes in.  Their candles are the best, and they have so many wonderful autumn scents to choose from.  I couldn't make a decision so I bought them all.  Not bad though.  They had a great two for one sale this weekend.

This is one of my bookshelves.  If you notice, there is a red book called "Raptor Red"?  It is a  story written from the perspective of a female raptor dinosaur struggling to survive on her own after losing her mate. The setting of the story is the plains of prehistoric Utah some120 million years in the past. It is a fantastic read, and if you can get your hands on it, do so.  You won't be disappointed.

 I was finally able to get a full picture of my mama and baby giraffe.  Hubby found them at a yard sale and bought them for me.

Aren't they sweet?

Well, it's time to get ready to mosey on out of here. Don't want to be late.  It's blood pressure day. Wishing you all the best on this fine September morn.

"By all these lovely tokens

September days are here,

With summer’s best of weather

And autumn’s best of cheer."

 Helen Hunt Jackson

Monday Morning This and That

And a good Monday morning to all. What a wonderful weekend it was. The weather was picture perfect, and I just had to get out of the house for awhile. So on Saturday I decided to go shopping for a  little something new to wear for fall. I had thought that my days of buying clothes were over, but even in retirement, it is nice to have a little something new. To my disappointment, the store was closed for the Jewish holiday.  Oh well,  there will be other times.  It took me two buses to get there, and I decided that rather than hop right back on the bus, I would walk it.  So, I walked from 47th Street to 60th Street to pick up the bus to bring me home. Quite an accomplishment for someone with an arthritic back.  Yet, despite the pain, I felt so invigorated.  As you can see from the sky in the picture below it was a beautiful day.

This is a picture I snapped of my building as I was waiting for the bus to go shopping.  We live in the back of the building, and my apartment looks out on a small courtyard.  Although the view from my window is not fabulous to look at, I will say it is quite a relief to not sleep in a room with a window that looks out onto the street.  Our bedroom was in the front in our last apartment, and for fifteen years we had cars passing by all night long.  You do get used to these things, however, so on our first few night's of quietude in our new place, it was hard to get used to the silence.

Sunday's church service was very moving.  With still another war looming, and all the violence we hear about every day, the service was all about peace.  The priest began the service talking about how violence begets violence. He went on to tell a story about two fourth grade boys who got into a tussle in the lunch room. It seems that one boy stumbled and bumped into the other who hadn't seen the boy trip and thought he had been pushed.  Both boys were sent to the principal's office and suspended for three days.  Then, their fathers were called in to see how they could help their sons resolve their difficulties so this didn't happen again.  Instead, it went thus....

Father one:  'My boy doesn't start fights, but, I did tell him that if anyone starts one with him, he should kick his butt.'

Father two (indignantly):  'So, you are saying that my boy started this?  My boy doesn't start fights either.  Your boy had to do something to instigate this.'

And on and on the two fathers bickered  until the exasperated principal had enough and sent them on their way.  The moral of the story?  "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree."  And all could have been avoided if the one boy had said a simple "I am sorry" and the other accepted his apology.

He then went on to discuss the Cuban Missile Crisis and how close we came to nuclear war during that time.  He said that even though he was just a little boy in the early 60's, he remembers clearly how dire the situation was.  The world was on the brink.   He remembers how he and his friends used to go to the church to pray after school and how filled the pews were with others who also were praying for peace.  In the end, the leaders involved were able to come to an agreement that averted the annihilation of millions of people.  He wondered, did prayer have anything to do with it?"

And now we are on the verge of waging  war with Syria, and thousands of people are dying every day just because they hold different beliefs.  And  with Egypt also still in turmoil is there any hope.  He spoke of the Coptic Christians in Egypt and how, in recent times, they have become the object of persecution. But then, in the midst of all the pain and turmoil, there is a glimmer, yes, a small glimmer of hope. There was a picture in the news of a group of Christian protesters standing together to protect their Muslim brothers as they prayed, and a news article about Muslim men holding hands and encircling the church to protect their Christian neighbors as they prayed.  "Yes", the priest said, "there is hope for peace in the world and let it begin with us." Let us pray.

The service ended with the following processional hymn, and to be honest, the entire service had been so powerful that by now I had tears in my eyes.

Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me.
Let there be peace on earth,  the peace that was meant to be.
With God as our father brothers all are we.
Let me walk with my brother in perfect harmony.

Let peace begin with me, let this be the moment now,
With every step I take, let this be my solemn vow,
To take each moment and live each moment in peace eternally.
Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me!

Friday This and That

When there is light in the soul, there is beauty in the person.

When there is beauty in the person, there is harmony in the house.

When there is harmony in the house, there is order in the nation.

When there is order in the nation, there is peace in the world.

 Chinese proverb

Friday? Already? Time sure does fly when you are having fun.  Sometimes the days just seem to run on together.  Not that I am complaining.  Retirement has been the best thing that ever happened to me. It's great having to have the freedom to choose whether or not I go out or not--to roll over and catch an extra wink or to wake up to a showery morning that "I don't want to go out in this" and not have to call anyone with an excuse. I am loving it.

After the episode on the bus the other day, I found myself a bit leery of getting on the bus.  I'm not a confrontational person, and I really let the episode effect me more than I should have.  But, I overcame my hesitancy and went to the program.  And I am so glad I did.  Thursday is always meditation class, and usually for the first half hour or so, we talk about about issues pertaining to spirituality, aging, dealing with emotions...basically whatever should come up.  Yesterday, as if she knew what I had gone through and how badly I had been hurt, she handed us a reading on 'Bad Memory' and I would like to share some of it with you...

'Happiness is good health  and a bad memory.'

Ingrid Bergman

Basically, we began by discussing the various little tactics we use to help us remember the little things we have to do.  Then the discussion ran into our good memories, and how important these good memories contribute to our general well being.  The second part of the reading then went on to discuss those feelings that we need to let go of. The reading went as follows...

'We would be happier, though, if we could forget some things.  Let's forget about those occasions when people betrayed us, made us cry, or sinned against us.  Let's forget about those times when we embarrassed ourselves, acted meanly, or let ourselves down.  There's no point in wallowing in such memories--and plenty of reasons to move on.'

And I realized that I had not yet let go, and the incident continued to play over and over again in my head. I also realized that part of my anger was this feeling that I had not only embarrassed myself by responding to this woman, but I had also let myself down by letting go of the good feelings I had held all morning long.  So, I spoke about it, and with the help of my instructor and my classmates, I realized that holding on was only going to cause me pain.  We then went on to discuss how there will always be negatives in our lives, no one is immune, but what is important is how we deal with them.  The instructor then led us through a 'letting go' meditation. Wonderful.  I left feeling so renewed.

Life really is short and living each day to the fullest is important. We just never know. Allowing others, and their baggage, to drag us down only causes us misery. And now, here we are entering the weekend with another war bearing down on us, and peace seems all oh, so much further away. (Sigh) Let us each take time this weekend to light a candle and pray that clear heads prevail.

Live your life while you have it. Life is a splendid gift. There is nothing small in it. For the greatest things grow by God's Law out of the smallest. But to live your life you must discipline it. You must not fritter it away in "fair purpose, erring act, inconstant will" but make your thoughts, your acts, all work to the same end and that end, not self but God. That is what we call character.

Florence Nightingale

Wishing you all a blessed weekend.

Thursday Ramble

When we look deeply into

the heart of a flower, we

see clouds, sunshine,

minerals, time, the earth,

and everything else

in the cosmos in it.

Without clouds there

could be no rain,

and without rain

there would be no flower.

Thich Nhat Hanh

Well, the rains came earlier this week, and the humidity has finally broken.  What a relief!  I think I could easily deal with summer if it wasn't for that heaviness in the air.  Hubby had a hard time. He pretty much stayed in throughout the weekend, and when he did go out, he'd come home and immediately use his pump.  I sure hope  that that was the end of it, summer's last hurrah. Took the following picture as I waited for the bust in the morning.  Isn't this a lovely sky, so clear and blue.

It started out as a beautiful day indeed, and I was really enjoying it.  I rose early and went to the center to play some bingo and pay for the bus trip to Atlantic City on September 18th.  I'm hoping that it will be much cooler this time around , and I can enjoy the boardwalk as I had wanted to last month, but it was way too hot to do much of anything. About halfway through bingo began thinking that as soon as the game was over, I had to check out the thrift shop on the second floor. I just knew there was going to be something there for me today, and there certainly was. As soon as I entered I saw him, this beautiful Angel music box.  It plays "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing".  He only cost me $3, but now if I can just figure out where I am going to put him.

Then, at lunch, I met the sweetest little lady.  Her name was Ernestine and she was from Germany, but had been in the States for many years...but, she still had her German accent.  She had a little round face, rosy cheeks, and chin length hair that was pulled back in a barrette.  She not only looked like a child, but also had a very childlike voice.  It was a true to joy to speak with her and listen to her stories.
 
I wish I could say that my entire day progressed as well, but unfortunately, I ran into a total idiot who was hell-bent on destroying my day.  They say it takes all kinds, and I  am sorry to say I ran into the most negative person on the way home allowed her to take me to a place I don't usually go. And I could kick myself in the butt for allowing it to happen.

It all started when I got on the bus to go home. It was a wee bit crowded, and no seats were available.  I reached out to hang onto the pole, and some 'moron' yelled at me to watch her foot. Now, I hadn't touched her foot, and when she pointed it out, I moved to the other side and held on. 

Before I continue, let me explain New York buses to you.  There are three seats on either side of the bus in the front that are reserved for the handicapped and elderly.  Thus, if a young person is seated, and one of the above gets on the bus, it is the law that the younger person must relinquish their seat. If they don't, and a police officer catches them, they can be fined $500, but, of course, an officer is never around.  Well, yesterday, there was a pregnant woman, the moron, and an elderly man seated on one side.  On the other side were two elderly women and a young woman in her early twenties. One of the older woman  saw that I was having a problem standing and started to get up, but I motioned her to stay seated, that I wasn't going far, and I'd never forgive myself if she fell. I remarked that it is the young, healthy people who should get up.  Wrong thing to say for me because it was just what the moron was waiting for. 

Moron: "That's my daughter, and she doesn't have to get up for you or anyone else."

Me: "Those seats are reserved for the elderly and the handicapped."

Moron: "It doesn't say that". In response I pointed out the sign. "It says it right there on that sign over your daughter's head." Moron continues: "Just because you carry a cane doesn't mean you really need it."  By now I am getting irate and falling into her nonsense. Big mistake.  I should have known better, but I was boiling. " For your information, I not only live in pain every day of my life, but I am also a senior citizen."  Actually, I really didn't have have to explain anything to her but by now I was feeding into it. Of course, she just shrugged that one off. "That doesn't make you special."

Her daughter then says something to her in Spanish, and I hear the word 'loco' and points to her head and laughs.  I know what that means.  Moron: "She is probably just one of those miserable old widows.  What she needs is a man.All those old widows are like that."  Where the heck did that come from?  And yet again, I fed into it. "You don't even know me.  I happen to have a wonderful man in my life. I could easily say the same about  you. Obviously, something is making you miserable." Oh boy, what was I doing?  That is NOT me, but these things just don't happen to me, and I am afraid to say I wasn't handling  it well.  

Moron: "I happen to have a man in my life who takes care of me very well."  Now I realize. This is going too far.  I was falling right into her trap.  She WANTED this.  She obviously got her kicks from instigating confrontations.  I should know better. Not only that, the woman was twice my size and these type of disagreements have often become physical.  I decided I'd better back off, and I said, "I tell you what.  I'm not bothering you.  Just leave me alone, okay."  Well, she continued the tirade to her daughter and wasn't going to let go.  She was aching for another response, but I'd had enough. I didn't want to get hurt.  

Finally, that seemingly endless ride was over, and I walked into my apartment shaking like a leaf. It was then that the tears began to flow.  When I get that angry, crying is my only way to let it go.  Later, after my tears had been spent, and I was feeling better, I thought about the incident.  Why did the bus driver allow this to go on?  It is part of his job to make sure that the rules are followed, and most bus drivers do make sure that an elderly or handicapped person are not made to stand. All this guy did was put on that stupid recorded announcement, "When a handicapped or elderly person stands near you, please give them your seat.  Courtesy begins with you."  Was he fearful of an altercation as well? I mean, when I think of it, both the moron and her daughter were intimidating people. 

Oh, you don't know. I really had to struggle to push the vengeful thoughts from my head. I really wanted to wish the worst on her, but stopped myself. Thoughts can be powerful, and no matter what, one should never wish harm on another. Karma will find her in the long run.

The best thing to give your enemy is forgiveness; to an opponent,

tolerance; to a friend, your heart; to your child, a good example;

to your father, deference; to your mother, conduct that will make her

proud of you; to yourself, respect; to all people, charity.

John Balfour

Thanks for letting me share.

Lovely Blog Award

 

Over the weekend I was honored to receive the above award from Greek Witch. You will find her over at Dreaming of Rosemary. I don't know if she realizes this or not, but hers was one of the first blogs I began to follow when I discovered the wonderful world of blogs. 

Okay, now to the rules. I  have to tell you 7 things about me that  haven't previously shared with you. This is a hard one because I have always been pretty much open about my life, but after giving it some thought, I did come up with the following.

1. One of my first jobs when I moved to the city was tending bar. I was still what you would call a 'country bumpkin', but I learned how to how to make all the drinks and actually quite enjoyed myself. Who would have guessed that,  thirty years later, I my career would be trying to help those who spend too much time in a bar stay sober.

2. I am addicted to crime dramas--Law and Order, Graceland, CSI, Cold Case, Criminal Minds. I can watch them all over and over again. I am in 'seventh heaven' when I see a marathon is coming on.

3. I don't like candy anymore. Is that something we outgrow when we get old? Is it a lack of hormone sort of thing?  I don't know when it happened, but today you will never find me eating a piece of candy.  Too bad that doesn't go for all sweets.

4. I am addicted to vanilla sugar wafer cookies. Can't get enough of them.

5. I once saw a UFO.  It was when I was in my teens, and I along with several others were hanging out at a  haunted barn.  Suddenly a light began to rise from a steep cliff nearby. Now, when I tell the story, people say it was probably a farmer with a flashlight, but you'd have to see that cliff to understand.  Impossible for a human to navigate.

6.  I am addicted to online bingo games.  I play bingo everyday at the center...for real money...but I like my online games best.

7.  I am actually a fussy eater. I don't like fish, seafood, asparagus mushrooms. or cheesecake amongst other many other things.

And, now I have the honor of presenting the award to seven other bloggers. This is a hard one as well, because you all deserve this award. 

http://eilisinwonderland.blogspot.com/

http://eat-drink-andbemary.blogspot.com/

http://mygrammassouljo.blogspot.com/

http://earthenmagic.blogspot.com/

http://thewildmagnolia-southmoonunder.blogspot.com/

http://mywitcheryside.blogspot.com/ 

http://octobersnovember.blogspot.com/ 

Like I said, this was so difficult to make these choices because you all have a special place in my heart and deserve this award.

Tuesday Musing

"By all these lovely tokens
September days are here,
With summer’s best of weather
And autumn’s best of cheer."

  Helen Hunt Jackson

September, the ninth month of the Gregorian calendar and the first month of Autumn.  The unofficial end of summer has come. In just a short time, the official end will be upon us. As I sit back and sip my morning coffee, I find myself pondering all the changes that have come over my life this summer--retirement, illness, the steady climb back to health, the worry and strain of unknowing, the steady deterioration of hubby's health.  Oh, my, so much in such a short time.  So, why am I feeling so restless?  September  should be  the time we begin preparing to go within as the time of darkness fast approaches.  Why am I looking for more?  Why don't I feel content? I'm wanting to enroll in a course, to learn more about my ancestors....I'm wanting so much that my mind is a jumble at the present time, and I keep looking for things that will hold my interest. I really don't know what I want to do. A restlessness has set in.

A new family moved upstairs over the weekend. That apartment has been empty for months.  Hubby and I think the rent may have been too high.  See, each time someone moves, the landlord is able to raise the rent a little higher.   Fortunately for us, the person before us in our apartment lived here over 15 years so it was pretty well stabilized. Our new neighbors seem to be very quiet.  Even on moving day they were much more quiet than the animals that lived there previously.

One thing I am finding hard to understand, though. Each apartment in this building has one of those new powerful toilets that flush so loud that every apartment within hearing distance knows everyone else's business. For example, I always knew when the old family were heading off to bed or when they rose in the morning, because one of the first and last things people before and after sleep is use the toilet. It used to make me self-conscious, but I've grown used to it now. The point is, I've yet to hear the upstairs toilet flush. What's up?  Do they not need to relieve themselves?  If so, I would love a tip to help make it through the night.  I am really confused about this one. Hubby jokingly says I focus on the strangest things. I guess he is right.

Yesterday we had macaroni salad, watercress and cucumber salad, and ribs grilled on my George Foreman. For dessert we had slices of watermelon. I'd really wanted a cake, but decided against it.  Must really begin taking off these pounds. And, I, aside from my cooking, spent the entire day watching a Ghost Whisperer marathon. It has been quite awhile since I have seen that show.

September is the month that is sacred to Persephone and  the Norse god of thunder, Thor. The sun dips lower in the sky, and the evenings are cooling down.  In the Northern sky, the Big Dipper hangs low. The birthstone of this month is the sapphire, often thought to possess magical powers. According to an ancient superstition....

A maiden born when autumn leaves

Are rustling in September's breeze 

A sapphire on her brow should bind —

'Twill cure diseases of the mind."

We enter the month in the astrological sign of Virgo. The flower for this month is the Aster. In Latin, its name means star. According to a beautiful old Greek myth, there was a time when the gods lived on earth amongst the humans during a golden age when it was a peaceful place to live. But, then, humans became greedy and began to fight with each other, and the gods abandoned the earth. Astraea, the star maiden, the virgin goddess who represented justice and innocence, was the last to leave, and when she departed, she became the constellation of Virgo, the virgin. It is said that when she gazed down upon the earth, she wept because she saw no stars there...and  as her grieving tears fell to earth, they turned into asters.

"The birds laugh loud and long together
When Fashion's followers speed away
At the first cool breath of autumn weather.
Why, this is the time, cry the birds, to stay!
When the deep calm sea and the deep sky over
Both look their passion through sun-kissed space,
As a blue-eyed maid and her blue-eyed lover
Might each gaze into the other's face."

- Ella Wheeler Wilcox, The End of Summer-