TGIF

Rather than fitting one's life into the demands of external conformity,
rather than living one's life as an imitation of the life of another, one
should look to find the authentic self within. One should labor to
develop one's own unique style in crafting one's soul. An individual
who denies his or her own individuality articulates life with a voice
other than that which is uniquely his or her own. One who suppresses
one's own self is in danger of missing the point of one's own existence,
of surrendering what being human means.

Rabbi Byron L. Sherwin

Wow, the weekend is here again. So fast...and so welcomed. This is a pay week for me so you know what that means. It's also a cooking weekend. Will be up early tomorrow morn and out to the store. This low sodium diet, and the medications, are really working. Yesterday I had the nurse take my BP, and it was 140 over 84, a great drop from the last time. Doesn't mean I am going to let up on things though. It's still high with a ways to go to be normal. But, even when it does hit normal, there is no way I will go back to the uncontrollable eating that got me in this shape to begin with.

Today I feel good about myself and the positive changes I have made in my life. There will be no going back.

Sunday, I'm still not sure what I am going to do.  I know I am getting antsy about making some Autumnal changes on my blog, but somehow, with the weather as warm as it is, it doesn't seem right.  I know I will definitely do some reading.  Bought a great book for my Kindle called "The Witch's Goddes:The Feminine Principle of Divinity" by Janet and Stewart Farrar. Fantastic book about the feminine principle in women. A nice cozy bath also sounds great, some scented candles, and just some comfy lounging about in my favorite chair. My son won't be coming down this weekend, so Sunday is all mine.  Much as I love him, we all need time to ourselves to recoup and rest.

May you all have a weekend filled with great joy and happiness.

Will This Be Us One Day?

The planet earth has a life span of eight billion years, give or take a few million.
People have been around for approximately forty thousand years--a virtual

blink in the cosmos. It is sad that we as a species are ravaging the natural 
world so fast that we are jeopardizing our survival. If we wipe ourselves out,

it would be the height of folly, but the earth will survive even us. It will eventually

restore itself. It might take a few thousand years, and it won't be just

as it was before, but its life is stronger than death.

Charlotte Davis Kasl

Yesterday a co-worker and I were watching the latest pictures of Mars on the computer, and I thought, "How special is this. Here we were, sitting in an office watching pictures of a planet that is located 35 million miles from us, at the closest point in its orbit, and it was like someone had filmed a dessert on our Earth." The pictures were magnificent. Yet, as I stood there watching in awe, I couldn't help but wonder if we were being given a prophetic glimpse at the future of our great Mother Earth. Is this where we are heading?

To cherish what remains of the Earth and to foster

its renewal is our only legitimate hope of survival.

Wendell Berry

Personally, I believe the Mars once was once a thriving planet,  teeming with life; in fact, much like our Earth. That is, until its inhabitants destroyed it just as we are in the process of destroying our own beautiful planet right now. Greenhouse gases. Polluted waters. Overpollution. As a people, we throw tons of garbage away every year without even thinking of recycling. We destroy natural habitats in our quest for fuel to heat our homes and drive our cars. We chop down trees and destroy forests for paper and building. As a result, animals are going extinct, and once they are extinct, they will be gone forever.  

Could it be that by allowing the Curiosity to land and take these pictures at this precise time is the Universe's way of reaching out to us?  Is she showing us what is to come if we don't learn to live within our limits? The truth is, if we don't stop all this madness and start thinking about tomorrow, there will be no tomorrow. We have an obligation to our future generations to come. As it stands now, what future will they have. Our Earth is definitely getting warmer and our desserts bigger. We are becoming the planet Mars. Are we just going to sit here and watch it happen?  Or are we going to do something about it while we still have a chance?

My Real Life Nightmare

Nothing is more destined to create deep-seated anxieties in people

than the false assumption that life should be free from anxieties.

Fulton J. Sheen

I often say there is no need to drive a car in New York. One can get anywhere they want on a train or bus.  But, sometimes that just isn't so. Last night was a nightmare coming home from work.  It all started out well.  I was on a cool air-conditioned train, enjoying a book on my Kindle, when a conductor announced...'No N, R, or Q trains going to Brooklyn. To catch any of these trains, please go back uptown to 42nd Street and pick up the 2 or 3 train.  Take to Atlantic Avenue in Brooklyn."  There, we were assured, we would be able to pick up our trains and to the rest of the way home.

Heading uptown was a nightmare in itself. There was no free transfer.  As usual, the MTA wasn't on top of things so it cost me and all the other passengers an extra fare.  The train itself was mobbed, and you can't imagine how crowded and hot it was at the Times Square Station.  But, the nightmare gets worse.  On the 2 train we were packed like sardines...and there was no air conditioner. The sweat was running off me...but I'm dealing with it because I am on my way home...or so the MTA had me believing.

The truth is, there were NO R or N trains running either way. When we got off at Atlantic Avenue I couldn't believe what I was facing.  There were tens of thousands of people there all struggling to find their way out of what had a 120 degree station...if not more.  Police officers were doing their best to direct people, but it was a mob scene down there.  I hadn't been feeling well to begin with.  My back was aching badly, and I was beginning to feel like I was going to pass out.  "Please. Get me out of here."  I cried out as I literally started sobbing.  "I can't take anymore of this I am afraid I am going to faint."  An officer saw my situation, on cane and all amongst all these people, and personally helped me to the elevator and out to fresh air. 

Fresh air, to be sure, but throngs of people and no place to go. It was quite a frightening experience because none of us knew what was going on.  There were police stationed all over the place, and police cars, fire trucks, and even a hazmat vehicle sped by sirens blaring. Someone passed a rumor that there was a bomb on the Manhattan Bridge, but how can you blame people for jumping to conclusions when, as usual, the MTA couldn't get it right? The MTA on one occasion said 'debris on the tracks on the Manhattan Bridge' and on another occasion 'Smoke alert at Dekalb Avenue.'  It's almost like they were trying to cover something up, and when added to all else that was going on, it does make you wonder.

Eventually I made it to the corner, leaned against a pole, and called hubby on my cell phone.  "Please, come get me" I cried.  "Tell me where, and I'll be there right away."  He heard the panic in my voice.  I was still feeling so very lightheaded.  Unfortunately, though, even travelling by car was treacherous, and it took him almost 40 minutes to get there.  We stopped at the Spanish restaurant to pick up some take food, and yes, I'll admit it, my diet went out the window last night.  I wasn't feeling well enough to go home and fix my standard dishes.  My sodium level didn't go up too high, but higher than it has been.

My nightmare was finally over when I stepped into my apartment at 8:10 pm last night.  I'd left work at 4:20 pm.  Now, aren't you glad you don't live in New York?  (Sigh)

The Wonderful World

Great, wide, beautiful, wonderful World,

With the wonderful water round you curled,

And the wonderful grass upon your breast,

World, you are beautifully dressed.

The wonderful air is over me,

And the wonderful wind is shaking the tree -

It walks on the water, and whirls the mills,

And talks to itself on the tops of the hills.

You friendly Earth, how far do you go,

With the wheat-fields that nod and the rivers that flow,

With cities and gardens, and cliffs and isles,

And people upon you for thousands of miles?

Ah! you are so great, and I am so small,

I tremble to think of you, World, at all;

And yet, when I said my prayers today,

A whisper inside me seemed to say,

"You are more than the Earth, though you are such a dot:

You can love and think, and the Earth cannot!"

William Brighty Rands 

How often do we take time to appreciate all the great gifts our Mother Earth has provided us with?  How beautiful is life? It's such a special honor to walk this Earth.  Soon a new season will be upon us.  Summer will pass as if it never were here, and Autumn with all of its spectacular colors will arrive.  It is a season of change as we begin to prepare for the cold winter months.

Autumn days are shorter and cooler, and the leaves turn orange, yellow, and brown as they begin to fall from the trees.  It has always been a special time of the year for me, but this year it will be all the more special.  For this year I have learned how fragile life can be, how one can walk about oblivious to what is going on around them, oblivious to what is going on within them.  I have learned that our time here is, indeed, short, and if we blink we will miss it.

"Only if one loves this earth with unbending passion can one relieve

one's sadness," don Juan said. "Warriors are always joyful because

their love is unalterable and their beloved, the earth, embraces them

and bestows upon them inconceivable gifts. The sadness belongs only

to those who hate the very thing that gives shelter to their beings."

Don Juan again caressed the ground with tenderness.

"This lovely being, which is alive to its last recesses and understands

every feeling, soothed me, it cured me of my pains, and finally when

I had fully understood my love for it, it taught me freedom."

Carlos Castaneda

Monday This and That

It is important from time to time to slow down,

to go away by yourself, and simply be.

Eileen Caddy

Ah, another weekend has passed on by, and I have nothing remarkable to report. Is that what growing older means?  Alas, though, I love these wonderful quiet weekends where I've nothing pending, and I can take my time about things and do as I wish.  Such a blessing they are!  In my youth, Friday and Saturday were always a time to party, a time to have fun.  Gosh, it was dreadful if plans fell through, and I had to stay home. Now my home is my haven, and sometimes I wonder if I would ever leave if I didn't have to work.  After all, shopping can now be done online and delivered. 

Actually, this weekend was spent nursing a nasty little cold.  Those annoying tickles became a full-fledged cold by the time I got home from my test on Friday. I'd planned to go to the fruit stand on Saturday but decided that, since I was dressed, I'd take a walk there on Friday.  It's always fun to see what new they have, and sometimes very disappointing as well.  There are quite a few new fruits that I tried, loved, and never found again.  They did have some donut peaches and dinosaur plums back so that made me quite happy.  I also found a plum like fruit that looked quite interesting and was ready to give it a try, but when I saw the price--$4.99 each--I quickly put it back.  What was inside of it anyway, gold?

I've been getting sick with colds quite often since my office moved to its new location.  We all have.  I realize that it is not so much our clients that are passing these illnesses on, but rather those who live in the shelter. Why they would build the outpatient clinic, where clients also come in from the streets, on the 10th floor and the two shelters on the lower floors, I'll never know.  In my opinion, we'd do so much better on the lower floors.  Needless to say, it is done now, and we're stuck riding a crowded elevator up 10 flights with the people who reside in the shelters.  Now, please, don't get me wrong.  I am not looking down on them in any way.  I am just stating facts. Many  have always lived on the streets and the little niceties in life, like covering one's mouth when they cough, have never been learned.  Riding that elevator is like stepping into a 'sea of germs'. 

Proper hygiene, as well, is something else that many of them have to be taught. There is nothing worse than riding the elevator in the early morn with someone who hasn't bathed or used deodorant in a week or more or has urinated in their pants and continue wearing them without washing them out.  Sometimes it is so bad I feel like throwing up.  It's a smell that sticks with you for awhile.  I often think if only I could walk up the stairs, but, alas, with my arthritic back I can barely make one flight let alone ten.

I was thinking that soon it will be time to change the look of my blog.  The seasons are changing quickly, and this is one summer, I will be glad to see go.  It's been far too hot and humid to do much of anything.  Whenever I do step out on the weekends, it's always such a relief to get back home.  I feel like I missed out on so much this year.  Perhaps it is because this is my first summer in my new home, and I had planned on doing so much.  But, perhaps it is that this is what was meant to be.  Perhaps slowing down and taking it is easy, taking care of self, is what I am supposed to do.

What is time? The shadow on the dial, the striking of the clock, the running of the sand, day and night, summer and winter, months, years, centuries--these are but arbitrary and outward signs, the measure of Time, not Time itself. Time is the Life of the Soul. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

TGIF

How can a society that exists on instant mashed potatoes, packaged

cake mixes, frozen dinners, and instant cameras teach patience to its young?

Paul Sweeney

I love the above quote because it is oh so true. How can we expect our young to learn if we are always taking the easy way out? I remember when I was a teenager and got my first camera, a little 'Brownie'.   Oh, what an endless wait is was for those pictures to be developed and how amazingly good it felt when I finally held them in my hands and looked at them. Today's youth miss out on that feeling. Perhaps that is why time seems to move so swiftly now?  Is it because everything is right there?

Well, it's Friday, and after today's test, I am home free. I've nothing much planned aside from a visit to the fruit stand.  Perhaps I will be able to catch up on some much-needed sleep.  Lately, I've been suffering from an attack of tickles in my throat which actually wakes me from a sound sleep.  Hopefully, they will abate, and I will finally be able to get some quality rest.

Wishing you all a weekend filled with joy and love.

Just Got Home

I'd be lying if I said today wasn't a nightmare. Oh, the test and the pill weren't so bad.  I made at least ten different people assure me that it was perfectly safe before signing those consent forms.  It was the time that got me.  I arrived there at 8 am as instructed and waited until almost 10 am for my papers to go upstairs.  Then, I had to stop at admitting to register.  Waited there until about 10:45 am to take care of that registration.  Then was sent to Nuclear Medicine where, I'll be honest, I at first tried every way possible to get out of the test and eventually was given....the pill.  Oh, did I mention when I looked up at the sign and it read "Caution, Radioactive Materials", I panicked and almost ran the other way.

Needless to say, hubby was also scheduled for the doctors today so I had taken a cab in the morning.  So, after taking the pill and told I could go home and come back at 4:30 pm for Part One of the test, I chose instead to wait downstairs in the lobby rather than waste all this money in cabs.  A word of advice to all: Don't believe everything you read on the internet.  I went there without eating because I "read" that you couldn't eat, so, by the time I found out differently, I was at the starving point.  Chalk up a cheeseburger, sweet potato fries, and a Pepsi as I threw caution to the wind.  

And then, it was onto the lobby and an afternoon of people watching and reading.  At 4:30, I went back upstairs and underwent a ten minute test.  Tomorrow I go back for the longer test, but it will not be as nightmarish as today.  No registration, just straight upstairs, and I don't have to be there until 10 am.  And after the test, it's home to what will be almost a three day weekend. Yippee!!!!