Monday Morning This and That

Good morning.  Another Monday has arrived.  Much to do today.  Will be in classes all day.  Lots of exercising this old body, meditation, and arts and crafts.  Now this is what retirement is all about. As for my weekend, it was fairly slow.  Did some cooking on Saturday after a run to the fruit stand, then came home to wait for the electrician to fix the bathroom light fixture.  Finally, we can turn the light off.  Door knob got fixed, too, so I won't get stuck anymore....although I have developed a fear of shutting the door tightly.

Had a rough Saturday eve into Sunday eve.  My 12 year old great niece was missing since early Saturday eve. .  At first her mom said she ran away, but then we began worrying about abduction as time went on. She had no change of clothes or money on her. Frightening thoughts ran through my head.  Finally, last night she was found with 2 boys and a girl in Queens.  She is only 12 but growing up too quickly.  I fear more to come with this girl.  Many prayers being said.

Dug out my old beads. Bought a few new ones. Purchased some findings, and now I'm all ready to make some glitter.  I adore doing beadwork.  I only hope my fingers....and eyes....will like it as much as I do.

Good thing I checked the monthly calendar from my union.  I was already packing jewelry supplies for class when something told me to check.  Sure enough, there are no classes today.  For some reason, we only have four weeks a month of class.  When there is a 5th Monday or Wednesday no class.  I guess they only pay for four.   It's a good thing I checked because it's a 2 hour bus ride to get there.  I wouldn't have been a happy camper to get there and find no one there.

On Saturday I received my first Moon Box from the Gaia Collective.  It's a monthly box of goodies, a box full of moon magic and protection. This month's box included:

A succulent
Nail polish infused with Moonstone, Rose Quartz, and Selenite for balance and healing
Rose Blossom lip balm
Amethyst for dreams and protection
Rose Quartz for love and forgiveness
Tree Agate for grounding
Mala Prayer
May's Intention--Flourish
Gypson Dessert Rose for protection, prosperity, and purification
And the cloth showing Moon phases.

Definitely loving this. And all for $22.  Awesome.

Sunday Selections

Family picnics.  Generations past and future.  Memories and memories to come.

That's my Aunt Ruth sitting there with her scarf on.  This had to be back in the late 60's.  That's me sitting there near the orange bowl in my bouffant blonde hair.

That's my mom with the dark hair.  My friend Pat is sitting next to her with the bouffant hair.  I haven't seen her in about 45 years and recently tracked her down.  I was so excited.  Couldn't wait to connect with her....and then I found it.  Her obituary.  That's one thing that comes with age.  Losses.  All of the adults at this picnic aside from Joyce in the red blouse are gone now.  And sadly, one of the little girls are gone as well.

In the background with the white hair is my beloved grandfather.  I miss him so much. I've lost track of most of these younger cousins, but recently via Facebook we've been finding each other again.

Cousin Joey played the accordian so well, but as he grew up, he distanced himself from the family.  No one hears from him.  Above, is his father stretched out on the grass.  

 My granddaughter and my three great granddaughter.

 My other granddaughter.  She is expecting my 7th great grandchild in July.

 That's my son and hubby in the background.

 My three great grandsons.

 Myself holding my beautiful great granddaughter.

And 40 some years from now, my great grandchildren will be looking at old family photos of family picnics just as I am, and they will say, "That is my great great grandma, Mary".  That's how life is.  It continues onward.  I am blessed.

Saturday Simple Thought of the Day

Often people attempt to live their lives backwards.

They try to have more things, or more money,

in order to do more of what they want so they will be happier.

The way it actually works is the reverse.

You must first be who you really are, then do what you need to do,

in order to have what you want.

Margaret Young

 That is one of my paintings above.  Maybe one day I will pick it up again.

Friday Roundup

Oh my, more rain on the way today.  Better be lots of flowers this year. We've had way more than are quota of rain.  Not going to stay home again today, though.  Have to get that exercise in.  Today is Chair Yoga, Dance, and Zumba.  Going to be a fun day.  Lately I have been having a lot pain in my back and knees, but it's best to move as much as possible.  The trainers understand that we are 'women of age' so they don't mind us taking some breaks.  At any rate, I know somebody who is going to sleep well tomorrow night.  

Been a strange week here in Brooklyn.  Such heavy wind and rain on Wednesday.  Enough to keep me in, for sure.  Lots of lateness with buses...and all occurring at stops that have to seating.  No picnic standing there 25 minutes for a bus when you are in pain.  On a good note, the mice appear to have moved on.  Now, if only I can move on myself.  Still sleep with the television on, but am making some progress.  At least I can now sleep with the light off.

Got stuck in the bathroom for almost a half hour yesterday.  Door somehow got jammed.  Hubby tried to get me out, but we had to resort to calling the super to bust the door in.  Embarrassing moments.  Here I am standing there with my nightgown on and my teeth out.  On a positive note, at least it is still chilly at night so I was wearing a long flannel gown.  Always something.

Got another stone yesterday.  A Shungite Palm Stone.

Shungite is a very powerful stone that some say say is a “miracle stone” because of its incredible healing and protection powers.  It works by promoting a calm state of mind while at the same time forcing out negativity and dark thoughts.  Worry stones such as mine above are believed to use a form of reflexology, or nerve pressure.  When one rubs the smooth surface of the stone, pressure is put on the nerves within the thumb which, in turn, releases endorphins.  As such it is said to reduce stress, headache, and insomnia. 

Have a wonderful weekend.

Getting Better and Better.

 Instead of focusing on which unhealthy foods to eat less of, concentrate on which healthy foods to eat more of. 

Author unknown

Good morning.  Today is Weight Watchers day. I never miss my meetings.  I think they are so important because of the support group one develops and the scale that keeps one on track.  Before joining WW I was trying this weight loss thing on line, and before I knew it, I was holding an eclair in one hand and typing my daily food list with the other....minus the eclair.  I realize that I was only hurting myself, but when you have an eating disorder, you just don't think like that.  But, that's all changed now...for the better.

Ever since I joined Weight Watchers I've developed a new and healthier diet for myself.  I usually only eat meat or poultry 2 or 3 times a week.  The rest of the time I eat veggies. Big difference for me.  I never really paid  attention to the food I put  until I got sick and discovered my blood pressure was off the charts.  I worked a very stressful job--substance abuse counselor for homeless, mentally ill substance abusers--and food was our stress reliever.  By 10 am we'd already be planning on lunch, and they were big ones--baked ziti with chicken parm, Mexican foods, pizza--all high in calories and sodium.  And because I worked in an area where food was so expensive, I felt I had to finish it no matter what.  (Cleaning my plate was very important to my parents and it carries over).  No wonder my blood pressure was out of whack.  

Changing my diet for the better has really improved my health; that and the exercise I am getting.  So, with that being said, I guess what I really wanted to say along with my new, healthier diet, I have purchased a number of vegetarian cookbooks.  Since I'd always had some kind of meat with my meals, I wanted some ideas on how to make salads and veggies more palatable.  One of my favorite books is the one below,  "Neighborhood, Hearty Salads and Plant-based Recipes from Home and Abroad" by Hettie McKinnon.  And I love that the first neighborhood featured is good old Brooklyn. 

This is an absolutely beautiful book filled with yummy vegetarian food and meal salads from around the world.  The book itself is beautifully presented with photographs of many of the foods  and separated into recipes from different countries--America (featuring Brooklyn, New York), France, Mediterranean countries, the Middle East, Asia, and Australia.  The recipes themselves are very easy to follow, and every one that I tried has been delicious.  I've already recommended this book to a few of my friends, and they love it.  Worth buying. 

On a Rainy Wednesday Morn

  Petrified wood can be used to calm down survival-based fears. It helps to make one feel safe and secure, helps one feel ageless. 

Whitehorse Woman

Heavy rain this morning.  At this point, I don't think I am going to head out to my classes today.  It's a two bus trip and neither has any shelter, plus a decent sized walk to my classes.  For the past year or so, my fingers have begun locking when I hold an umbrella.  I am able to get them open, but not without some pain.  It's not Trigger Finger.  Doctor says I have arthritis in my fingers, and when I hold an umbrella I tend to hold it too tightly.  This getting old business is no picnic, but it's also no reason to just give up.  So instead of going to classes today, maybe I'll do some work on my jewelry project.  Made this one in class on Monday.  Not as easy as it used to be.  Eyesight and fingers don't quite work like they 35 years ago when I made jewelry to sell.

 

Got this in the mail yesterday.  It looks much prettier than the picture.  My new phone doesn't take as clear pictures as my old phone.  Petrified Wood.  Petrified wood is wood that has been  created naturally in the earth from ancient trees that became fossilized over a very long period. It is the result of a tree having turned completely into stone.   It forms  when a tree has died and silicon dioxide forms in place of the wood that degrades until there is no wood left.  This small stone in my hand was once an ancient, living and breathing tree. 

Petrified wood is a stone of transformation and patience.  A grounding stone, it helps to make you feel safe and secure.  The Earth element is alive in this gemstone and by connecting you with the Earth's energy, it provides healing energy to both physical and emotional issues.  If you need a grounding stone, Petrified Wood is the perfect stone to work with.  This stone instill a feeling of peace with everything around you.

Petrified Wood has been known to promote communication and interaction with the spirits of nature.  This stone is another stone that can enhance past-life work and may facilitate the viewing and understanding of the Akashic records. Meditating with Petrified Wood assists us in connecting with Mother Earth and the natural realm.

A Sure Sign of Spring....Finally.

What a desolate place would be a world without flowers.  It would be
a face without a smile, a feast without a welcome.
Are not flowers the stars of the earth?
And are not our stars the flowers of heaven? 

--Clara Balfour--

Signs of spring in front of my building. For awhile it looked as if they weren't going to make it, then full bloom.  And warm weather, too?  Oh, I am in my glory.  Now, if I only had my garden.  These are the times I really miss it.

Monday This and That

Monday morning.  Another week begins.  Another busy week for me.  This morning I am out of here by 8 am and won't be seeing home until close to 5.  Qigong, Line Dance, Meditation, and then Arts and Crafts.  I love being busy and playing catch up on all the years I missed all this.  I was so wrapped up in work that I had no idea of all the fun things that there were to do.  On Friday I actually did an hour of Zumba.  Talk about a workout.  I was determined, though, and I stuck it out....and you know what?  I walked into that class with my back aching and walked out a new person.  No more pain.

My Zumba class.  Trainer in front is awesome.  I have her for Line Dance as well.

Hubby surprised me last night by taking me out to dinner at Applebees.   Had the chicken steak combo with sides of broccoli and green beans.  Green beans had a sauce on them which added points, but much less points than their mashed potatoes or macaroni and cheese (my choices in the past).  Afterwards we went to see A Quiet Place.  Not quite what we had in mind.  After 15 minutes I woke hubby up and we headed on into the next theater to watch an action movie of human trafficking.  Don't even know the name of it .

My beautiful day out was not without some drama, though.   After we parked at Applebees, I climbed out of the car, went to close the door, and somehow knocked my sunglasses off, leaving a small cut on my nose.  How I did it, I don't know.  So while hubby waited in line for seating, I had to run to the ladies room and do a little first aid.  Clumsy me.

Spent most of Saturday in the kitchen.  Hubby still has regular meals, but, to be honest, I really tired of them.  So, I cooked meats for him during the week and made two different soups for me--another batch of the Harissa Spiced Bean and this delicious Weight Watchers Chicken and Orzo soup with fennel.  Got it out of one of our weeklies and added a few touches of my own.

7 cups low sodium chicken broth
Carrots
Celery
Fennel (recipe called for fennel bulb, but I used ground fennel)
cooked boneless chicken breast
black pepper
1 cup uncooked orzo

I put everything but the orzo in the pot, brought to a boil and then simmered until carrots and celery softened.  Added the cooked chicken and orzo and cooked until orzo done.  Simple, cheap, only 3 WW points, and delicious.

Well, time for me to get ready to mosey on down the road.  Classes start at 10, but it's almost a 2 hour bus trip....but, oh, so worth it.  Have a good one.

My Newest Little Angel

The golden moments in the stream of life rush past us and we see nothing but sand; the angels come to visit us, and we only know them when they are gone. 

George Elliot

Received this little Angel as a Christmas gift from my son's wish to be girlfriend. Isn't she pretty?  They are still only friends, best friends for sure, but I have serious doubts it will go any further than that despite my son's hopes of a relationship.  It's been over two years now.  I just don't see it happening. 

Saturday Simple Thought for the Day

A wise man once sat in the
audience and cracked a joke.
All laughed like crazy. After a
moment, he cracked the same
joke again and a little less people
laughed this time.
He cracked the same joke again
and again, when there was no
laughter in the crowd, he smiled
and said, "When you can't laugh on
the same joke again and again,
then why do you keep crying over
the same thing over and over
again.

'Forget the past and move on'

Unknown

Wise advice indeed.

Mindless Eating

 A friend is one of the nicest things you can have, and one of the best things you can be. 

Douglas Pagels

Another week passed.  How quickly they fly by when you get older!  Had a wonderful time with friends yesterday.  Actually, this was a first for me.  Imagine that.  71 years old and this was my first luncheon with friends.  Oh, I have had luncheons with co-workers, but even though I thought of them as friends at the time, they were just co-workers.  We never did anything together outside of work. I had no idea what it was like to just have fun with 'just' friends.  (I look kind of chubby in this photo, but the blouse I was wearing was a wee bit too big and made me look heavier than I am).  Settled on an egg and spinach omelet.  Eggs and spinach are 0 points, and after the enormous cheeseburger I ate yesterday, I needed something a little tamer.  Now the home fries are another story, but who could resists?  Certainly not I.

Speaking of WW, good thing I don't have to weigh in more than once a month now that I am 'Lifetime'.  I've been doing a lot of 'stress' eating lately.  Having a pretty hard time dealing with this rodent problem.  Thought I was rid of them and felt at peace for a day or two only to discover that they are still here. Spoke to my neighbor, and she said she is having a rodent issue as well.  That's 5 people I know in my building.  Time for us all to get together and demand a professional rodent exterminator. 

My emotions pretty much rule over how much I eat and what kind of food I eat.  Sadness and hurt kills my appetite.  Stress makes me eat even if I am not really hungry.  Eating emotionally comforting foods.   Eating even after I am full because I want to 'finish my plate'.  How many of us were raised to think that way? Mindless eating.

WW will be hosting its first book club meeting early May.   Our first book to discuss is "Mindless Eating" by Brian Wanasink.  The book is great and should be an interesting discussion.  

Often our decision to eat is not a conscious decision, even when it seems like it is. Instead, we are driven by habits and behaviors. In short, Wanasink's book examines our tendencies with respect to eating: what makes us eat, what makes us enjoy food, what causes our eating habits. Wanasink demonstrates that almost all of our decisions about food and eating are psychological and even if we believe we control them, we don't. He presents many cases and analyzes many different scenarios, all of which are very interesting.  Opened my eyes up for sure.  Now to put it into practice.

Hope you all have a wonderful, fun-filled weekend.

Is it Really Thursday Already?

How wonderfully these pictures have caught the look of tentative spring—spring waiting for a single day to burst into living green. 

Alice Morse Earle, "In Lilac Tide"

And a good Thursday morning to all.  Had a wonderful day yesterday.  An hour of Qigong and then an hour of Line Dancing.  We're actually making up our own dance...The 1199 Line Dance.  We've practiced all the moves, and now it is just a matter of sorting through them and chosing the order in which we will do them.  Then, we will be performing at the annual Christmas party in early December.  Long way to go.

Today I am off to my Weight Watchers meeting.  Haven't missed one since I started a little over two years ago.  I credit them with saving my life.  Blood pressure was sky high and medication wasn't helping.  Now I'm pretty much normal all the time.   Still on medication, though.  Doctor pretty much assured me that will pretty much be a lifetime thing for me.  At any rate, I learned a new way of living and eating through them.  Weight Watcher is more than just for weight loss.  Emotional and physical health are an important part of the program.   In fact, come May, Weight Watcher is changing its branding from a weight loss to a wellness program. 

Afterward the meeting, a bunch of us regulars are going out to our monthly lunch.  I never had any time for any kind of socialization while I was working....and that 50 years, so spending quality time with friends is new to me.   In addition, I've never had an easy time of it making friends and have always yearned to have at least ONE friend to go to coffee or lunch with, and now I have 5.  Retirement has been good to me.

Some pictures from the park on Sunday.  It's really a gorgeous place, especially during the summer when it is so green and alive.  The hill where I like to sit was once an old Indian burial ground, a sacred place that looks out over the river with a view of Staten Island.  This land once belonged to my Dutch ancestors.  My 9th great grandfather. Teunis Van Pelt was the first European to lay claim on this land.

Ammonites

“But didn't everyone have a shell? Hard, external armor protecting the soft, vulnerable creature beneath?

Perhaps, she thought, people were more like ammonites than one would suppose. Perhaps they too built shells on a consistent, unchanging factor- some quality or circumstance established in your youth. Each chamber in the shell just an enlargement of the previous. Growing year after year, until they spiraled around and locked themselves in place.” 

Tessa Dare "A Week to Be Wicked" 

The name Ammonite comes from the ancient Egyptian god, Ammon, who believed that these creatures were Divine.  Now extinct, ammonites are fossils of the Cretaceous period; in other words, they are the fossilized shells of ancient marine animals who once inhabited the deep sea. They hold the energies of more than 65 to 200 million years and because they are so ancient, they are an earth healing fossil with its spiral shape symbolizing the constant change and evolution that takes place on our blessed Earth.  No lie, I am in awe when I hold this stone, close my eyes, and try to imagine just what the earth was like when this creature was alive.

It is believed that Ammonite brings stability and order in life, and eases spiritual growth and development by providing natural healing and cleansing energies.  They have the ability to use the Cosmic energy they have absorbed through the millenia to stimulate Chi, the life force within. As such Ammonites will help guide you through times of change or transition in your life. Natural filters, they can draw away any of your negative doubts and fears while instill positive thought processes.

Personally, I purchased these stones because I am very interested in past lives.  You will see that many of the crystals I purchase have common themes--past lives, spirit guides, angels, Mother Ocean, and inner child work.  Yup, 71 and my inner child still has residual childhood trauma. Ammonites are just what are need for healing and cleansing karma, as well as establishing a connection to Akashic energy, spirit guides, and ancestors of both familial and spiritual natures. May also  be used for  prophetic dreams as well as work or meditations pertaining to past lives.
 
Carry or wear Ammolite for good luck and financial abundance.  Place a piece of Ammonite near you at night time to promote prophetic dreams. When placed in your home, they attract prosperity, success, and abundance. Physically, they can help increase your stamina and vitality....and are especially helpful for blood pressure problems or issues with your lungs.  

 This is the inside of one of the Ammonite just below.  It is really more beautiful in person.

Sorry for the blurry picture.  My camera does not take the greatest pictures.

Soup's on.

Soup puts the heart at ease, calms down the violence of hunger, eliminates the tension of the day, and awakens and refines the appetite.

 Auguste Escoffier

Good morning everyone.  What a day we had yesterday!  Rain and wind.  Over 3 inches of rain.  That's a lot.  So glad I decided to stay in.  Definitely going to get out today.  Need to get some fresh air....and a bit of walking exercise since I didn't get to my classes yesterday.   

Thinking about having some nice hot and spicy soup for dinner tonight. I love experimenting with spices and have become quite adept at throwing a soup recipe together.  The good news is that in January Weight Watchers started its new Freestyle program and increased their list of 200 0 point foods which includes chicken and all kinds of beans.  Bean lover that I am, I've discovered many creative ways to incorporate them into recipes.  Plus, since I am now only eating meat and poultry a couple of times a week with the rest of the week  a vegetarian menu, bean dishes add some much needed protein. These '0' point soups also allow me to get back on track when I've treated myself to some of my favorite goodies like this weekend when I not only had a slice of pizza, but an ice cream as well. That's the good thing about Weight Watchers though.  One can eat whatever they want in moderation. 

The following is one of my favorites. Made a huge pot and froze the rest for another day....like today.  Sorry.  The bowl was half empty before I remembered to take a picture.

Spicy Harissa Bean and Spinach Soup

Lots of ingredients and lots of great taste.  

1 can small red beans
Spinach (I used frozen, but you can use fresh if you want)
Carrots
Celery
1 can diced tomatoes
Garlic
Onion
Sweet peppers
Harissa spice
Thyme
Basil 
Oregano
Coriander
Red pepper flakes
4 cups vegetable broth
1/4 cup Balsamic vinegar 

I can make up recipes, but I am not a very good recipe writer.  That's because I just add everything to taste.   I just provide the basics.  Amount of seasonings are up to you.  (Note:  All spices I used are dried.  You can use fresh if you like).

Monday Morning This and That

 If a man harbors any sort of fear, it percolates through all thinking, damages his personality and makes him a landlord to a ghost. 

Lloyd Douglas

Good morning.  It's a rainy one here in Brooklyn. Talk about rain. My goodness. The rain and win woke me about 4:30 am. Heard a loud crash and something blowing in the wind. 40 mph gusts out there and heavy, heavy rain.   And wind?  Non-stop.  Not a day fit for man or beast. 

No way am I going out in this. Had my bag all packed for arts and crafts, but that will just have to wait until next week. It's a wait at 2 bus stops with no shelter and then a fairly long walk to the class. Forget about my fingers locking when I hold an umbrella. Arthritis.  Aging hasn't been so easy on me, perhaps because I never really kept myself in tiptop shape until symptoms set in, but I don't let it stop me from doing the things I enjoy.  Life is to be lived, and after working 50 years, I am definitely living it. In this weather. though,  you can't even open an umbrella if you tried.  Wind would blow it right out of your hand.

I have been going through it lately.  Been very stressed.  After 5 years I suddenly developed a mouse issue, and I am petrified of them...to the point of it being a true phobia.  I couldn't eat or sleep, and when I did sleep, I slept in my clothes with the television and light on (hubby drives a cab all night).  I kept hearing them surrounding me even though they weren't there, and the worst was when I would walk into the kitchen and one would scoot across the floor.  Tears would flow and my body shook so badly that I just wanted to run away.  And worst of it was, I couldn't seem to get any help.  I told the super and he said he thought the problem was to be taken care of by the tenants.  Building management told me to talk to the super.  I was using peppermint oil and it seemed to be keeping them at bay, but hubby, with his emphysema, couldn't breathe.  

So I spent over $100 on air tight containers for all our foods, even my spices, $25 on an electric trap, $24 on Rodent Be Gone spray, $30 on the pure peppermint oil, I purchased the poison, but hated to use it as much as I wanted it gone.  The last straw was when we discovered they had crawled through the vents of our microwave and destroyed it.  Hubby had to go out and spend $159 on a new one.  I called and DEMANDED help, and the next day the super came in and used a foam spray to seal all the holes.  Haven't heard or seen any in two days now.  Hoping that starvation drove them away and the seals will keep them from returning.  Needless to say, no matter what, I will never feel the same here again.  

We have been looking to move anyway.  Once the large building goes up next door it will block all light and air from entering my apartment.  I will  be living in 24 hours of night time.  So we have been putting applications for affordable housing. Not easy to get here in Brooklyn, but if I don't try, I will have 0 chance of finding something.

 The brown would is the distance from my kitchen window.  That's how close it is.  Now imaging an 8 story building going up right there. 

Another view of it.  The white building is the front part of my building.  The building will actually be built about one foot from my bedroom window.  Sorry, but I can't live like that.  

So, that's a few of the negatives that have been going in my life lately.  It never gets dull.

Sunday Morning Post

 The obstacles of your past can become the gateways that lead to new beginnings. 

Ralph Blum

Good morning, and a Happy Sunday. It's a cold and windy one for sure.  Yesterday up in the 70's and today it's in the  40's with wind gusts that bring it down into the 30's.  Spring sure has a fight on her hands this year.  Winter just doesn't want to leave.

Had a wonderful day at the park yesterday. It felt so good spending some quality time in the good old outdoors. Sat up on the hill and ate my lunch. Did some reading. Then, I took out my phone and decided to listen to the video lesson of a course I am taking on prayer via Daily Om. Well, I put my head phones on and halfway through the video when I notice that everyone is watching me. Discovered then that the headphones weren't working, and everyone was listening to my course. I stopped it then. Some lady said she had been enjoying it and wanted to know about the courses they offered. Others didn't seem too happy. People don't like their quietude disrupted, and I understand. I am very much the same way.

Anybody here into crystals?  I adore them.  I have so many now that I don't know what to do with them, but every Wednesday evening, without fail, I attend an online FB crystal sale on Mother House of the Goddess and always end up with one or two new ones.  They also have some great courses, some expensive, but many of them free. Here's some pictures of my beauties.  

 Rutilated Quartz Point

Occo Geode

 Obsidian Pyramid

 Malachite Crystal

Quartz Tower and Selenite Wand

My beautiful Dessert Rose

Crystal Four Direction Quartz Generator

Have many more.  Will explain their meanings.

I'm back into my Druid classes after a few years break.  Now I feel ready to move on.  Lots of essay writing and looking within.  Some of the lessons have really been stirring up some feelings, and I have to keep reminding myself what's in the past is past and to be let go.  That's my problem.  I keep saying counseling helped me to get over my traumatic childhood and forgive my parents, but there is still the deep-rooted pain that must be let go before I can begin to feel whole. 

Well, I'm off to church now.